Do you remember all those times when you really needed to KNOW how clients felt about your proposal or idea?
Do you wish you KNEW if your employees or co-workers are being honest with you?
If only there was a way to show up at the job interview feeling confident and saying the right words.
Well I am here to tell you there is a way to feel more confident. There is a way to understand the people around you better, and this knowledge can be found in a body language book.
But not just any book. I am talking about distilling years of experience working with clients as a body language expert trained right alongside the FBI and police.
Hopefully, the lies in your life are milder than the murders and crimes detectives need to solve. However, you don’t have to be a law enforcement pro to detect lies, and that’s why I’d like to talk more on my book ‘How to Detect Lies Fraud and Identity Theft – Field Guide’
Written as a quick reference guide, in this body language book you’ll find just what you need to know to survive in the wild and detect deception or increase your chances of success. Today I’d like to speak of a few helpful aspects of my body language book that should make your life a whole lot easier.
The Power of a Body Language Book – Go Beyond The Words
In daily communication most people are so obsessed with themselves that they forget to pay attention to people around them. This has worked in favor of liars, but I say no more! Let’s learn how to become focused and spot the signs that are screaming the truth!
The most important thing to remember when speaking to someone – go beyond the words. Meaning, don’t just rely on the words that are coming out of their mouth. Take a look at their entire figure and the way they behave while talking to you.
Here are some important questions to ask yourself when speaking to someone casually:
- What is their general attitude? Are they moving towards you or backing away from you? If someone is backing away from you they are either hiding something or don’t like what they’re hearing. Either way this is a good tell.
- Do their gestures match their words? When you ask a yes or no question most of the times people say yes and nod their head up and down accordingly. If someone is saying yes but shaking their head left and right that could be a hot-spot.
- Are they using pacifiers while they’re speaking? During tense situations, it’s natural to touch one’s self to relieve tension. Some of the common pacifiers include: cracking knuckles, hugging one’s self, tapping their fingers, coughing, swallowing hard, clearing the throat, yawning, rocking, bouncing, wiggling.
While it is common for most people to do these things occasionally, watch to see if there’s a shift. If someone has been open and confident and suddenly shifts to any of these pacifiers, that is a big hot spot.
The Power of a Body Language Book – How to Detect Deception
- Get a Baseline Reading – Before judging anyone’s behavior, it’s important to get a baseline on them. This is to understand how they usually behave. When you compare them to themselves, you get a much more accurate assessment of deception or truth. Then, when you see major shifts, you know you’ve got a hot spot.
Ask them a simple question like ‘what’s the time right now?’ or ‘where do you live?’ and watch how they behave when answering them. This will give you an idea how people react when telling the truth. Then compare this behavior when asking the tough questions.
- Watch Their Gestures – One of the most important hot spots to watch for is the timing of someone’s gesture. Do they gesture slightly before they speak or slightly after? Truthful people gesture just before they speak. Liars gesture just after they start speaking. This is subtle but worth watching for.
- Listen to the Tone of Their Voice – We’ve all heard the saying ‘It’s not about what you said but how you said it!’ And it’s true: One of the most reliable signs of deception is someone’s tone of voice.
If the tone of voice rises – people are either excited or angry;
If the tone of voice drops down – they feel sad or ashamed;
If the tone of voice moves into convincing – you’re probably dealing with a liar;
If the tone of voice is peaceful – you’re probably hearing the truth.
I used the word ‘probably’ on purpose; because to spot a liar, you can’t rely on a single tell.
You’re going to want to look for clusters of signs or hot spots, a tightly grouped series of gestures we’ve talked about. When you see three or four during the same sentence, you’ll know someone’s pants are likely on fire!
Reading people is not an easy task, and it will take a lot of energy and focus out of you, but it will be rewarding in the end.
The Power of a Body Language Book – How to Handle a Lie
Finding out the truth based on body language alone is an amazing talent, but it also comes with a challenge – how to handle the liar.
Once you are certain you’re dealing with a liar you’ll need to decide if it’s a good idea to take action or save your knowledge for later.
It all depends on the situation at hand, but have these pointers in mind:
- Pick Your Battles – Not every situation is worth the confrontation. Most of the times you’ll only need to file your knowledge away until the time it becomes important.
- Never incriminate based on a single element – If you’re certain your co-worker is hiding something, try looking for clusters of hot-spots.
- If you can’t avoid a face to face encounter, tell the person you’ve got evidence on them, this usually gets you an admission.
Learning the secrets of nonverbal communication will help you reveal what the mind is trying to hide.
In order to get the full experience and really dive into the body language world, make sure you get a copy of my body language book: ‘How to Detect Lies, Fraud and Identity Theft – A Field Guide.’
Also feel free to check out the Amazon bestseller I wrote for more info on body language:
Let’s help you and your team excel at reading people today. Visit my online training classes and become the master of any business situation. Learn how to detect deception and never let anyone fool you, ever again.
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