Every guy will tell you if they’re into you with their body language. A shy guy may be harder to read, though because he can be very self-conscious! You’ve got to become a bit of a body language expert to interpret these quiet creatures, but with a little attention to detail you’ll easily spot the small signs he’s into you right away.
Actions speak louder – What’s he really saying?
When interpreting anyone’s body language, it’s important to watch them for a bit and get a good read on their baseline behavior. So just watch the situation for a few minutes. How is he acting? Does he act differently around you than with his buddies? For example, is he more boisterous around his friends and gets quieter around you? That’s a sign he’s into you!
When a guy likes you he’ll want to be closer to you. Does he walk past your desk even though there’s a shorter way to his destination? Does he sit by you even if there are plenty of other places available? He can’t help himself. It’s another sign he’s into you!
How to know if a shy guy likes you without talking
Most of our communication happens non-verbally, without talking. So watching your shy guy will tell you more than his words ever will.
If he makes eye contact with you just immediately before he steps out of a room, even when he’s with his buddies or co-workers, it’s a sure sign he’s interested in you.
When you catch him starting at you from across the room and he looks away the instant you catch him, he’s probably into you. Science has proven that it’s not the length of his stare that indicates his level of interest; it’s the frequency of his stares. So if you catch him more than a few times, it’s a dead giveaway that you’re irresistible to him.
Watch a man’s gestures closely and you’ll see this: Even from across a room, he’ll gently copy your movements. For example, if you pick up your drink and have a sip, he will too! If you shift and fidget in your chair, so will he! He won’t even realize he’s doing it. But it’s a sure sign that he wants to be connected to you.
Shy guys will be more self conscious because of their shyness which can make some of his body language harder to detect. Here are a few behaviors that are a little more sub-conscious and harder to hide:
Is he using Flirting body language?
When we see things we like, our eyes will dilate. It doesn’t matter if it’s a puppy, a baby or a gorgeous girl like you. You do need to pay close attention to see his pupil size. Sometimes the dilation will be slight and hard to see, other times it will be bigger. Practice to paying attention to this detail in everyone you meet and you’ll be able to decode your potential shy love interest much more easily when you need to. If he’s just yanking your chain and not serious, those eyes pupils will stay their regular, smaller size.
The same way his pupils dilate when he sees something he likes, his eyes will soften around the edges. You’ll see the wrinkles go away! Taking a baseline like we talked about above is important to being able to determine if this is really going on.
Finally, he’ll go out of his way to touch you during a conversation. Even if the conversation isn’t that meaningful, it’s an unconscious response to want to touch things we like! So watch for quick touches of your arm or leg. If you get even one touch, he’s revealed his true feelings.
Here’s how do shy guys act when they like you
If a shy guy…or any guy… likes you. He’ll do something about it. He’ll man up. He’ll talk to you, He’ll ask you on a date. He’ll look you in the eye. And most importantly he won’t play games. Here’s a little tough love: You deserve to be treated like a queen. Why would you hang around and let yourself get treated like anything less?
And there’s the possibility he’s just not that into you.
I hate to say it. But when a shy guy just won’t ask you on a date, it’s likely his fear or refection is greater than his affection for you. Or his other commitments…(like a girlfriend or marriage) are telling him to not go for it. So you’ve got to be cool. It’s great to feel wanted.. But remember he’s showing you that your’e only semi-wanted….to him. Move on and you’ll find the right guy who wants you enough to be willing to take the risk to ask you out and be your man.
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This is exactly what is happening with me at school the guy that likes me is shy but in the morning when I have to wait outside the gym I would sit down and he would be close but not that close and he would stare at me and blush at the same time and when we go inside the gym he would be across the gym sit on the bleachers and just stare at me and I would stare at him sometimes he would look away or sometimes he would just stare back and I’m really sad because this friday that pass I came late to school cuz I was deep in sleep that I didn’t hear the alarm and when I got to school my friends who I usually talk to while the shy guy that likes me is near told me that he was looking for me cuz he was going to tell me he likes me my friends know cuz my friends are his friends and he ask them were I was my friends ask why and by accident he spill out the soup saying that he was going to tell me he likes me and then he quickly covered his mouth and that is why this Monday I will ask my friend to help me so he could have enough guts to say it to me cuz I doubt when I’m there he will say he likes me cuz his shy that is why I need my friends help cuz he is extremely cute and I find his shyness adorable even though around his guy friends he is not shy at all I just hope this works bye:-)
Wow! Lots going on there. Let me know how it goes.
So there’s this guy I lurk that’s my friends brother, when I’m looking down or something I know he’s looking at me he’ll look my way a lot but won’t say nothing, we have had conversations before and we laugh before we talk and everything but he’s always stealing glancing at me, he even made fun of my laugh before, and when I asked him to carry my bag he did it without bitching. Yes he talks about other girls and some girl he likes but he’s always glancing my way~
I remember one time when he came up to he’s sisters car ” I was in the passages side he came up to my window Cus u said I had something that he had too and when I was digging through my bad even though I was looking down I know I say him look at me than back at the bag…….what does it mean?
sounds like he’s into you but not ready to make a real move yet. Your job is to attract him in. SO just keep being your sweet self and he’ll either make a move or he won’t. You don’t want him before he’s ready so you gotta be chill.
What does it mean when a man age 42, I’m 43, acts really nervous around me he will stare at me across the gym and sometimes make intense long eye contact with me and other times I catch him out of the corner of my eye watching me and when I’m looking down when I look up he looks away like someone air slapped him. He will look at my face and of course my boobs,legs, etc. He does this and never talks unless I do first. He will stare at me like a deer in headlights when he is in close proximity both eyebrows raised eyes opened wide mouth slightly open. Sometimes when he’s around me I can hear him exhale and sigh after he walks past me. I am so confused. Does he like me or should I feel offended that his actions is for negative reasons. He is a great guy and is a widower with two daughters. Please help me I really like him.
Hi! He’s totally into you but isn’t ready to do anything about it. This kind of behavior is super common. So if you like him just make yourself available and he’ll come around. Good luck!
Well there’s this guy I really like and we talked for a long time & we were best friends & I decided to make a move and tell him how I felt abt him & well he said he was totally fine with it and stuff . After that we started talking less & when school started we talked a bit more but still not like we used to . Every time I pass by him he gives me a high five & says hi to me . But lately when he sees me , he looks at me then he puts his head down and tries not to look at me , or starts talking to his friends . What could this mean ? :”/
Hey I have a ? About a guy if he likes me or not I just need help
There’s this boy that I always catch staring at me (I’ve seen him do it about 12 times). When I talked to him, (my friend asked him to talk to me) he somehow knew I had danced with a boy even though he wasn’t at the dance I was at. Somehow, he also knew that the boy I danced with, wasn’t dancing correctly. He had brothers who were there at the dance, as well as friends. I recently found that he’s left a comment on his friend’s s YouTube video, so I replied to it and said “hi.” He replied and said “heyyy.” When I lied to him and said that my friend dared me to, he said “lol, sounds like her.” I replied again, asking him IF he wanted to talk on email or something, but he didn’t respond even though his channel had activity around that time. I replied a few more times, saying hi and stuff, but he still didn’t reply. Whenever I see him, he’ll sit right across from me and keep glancing up at me. When one of my friends said “you should go talk to him,” but when I said “no” I’m pretty sure he heard me, because he immediately stared at me, and got up and walked over to the other table. What I don’t get, is that he told me he didn’t have an email he didn’t think, even though I found out later, that he actually does. I think it might be because his friend likes to trade him a lot. One time, after I talked to him, his friend came over and started glancing at me and whispering to him. He said, “why don’t you do it already?” The boy replied “no.” I don’t know what he was talking about, but the boy’s face immediately turned bright red and he told me he had to go. Then he went somewhere else. I don’t know what to do about this, because I like him too and want to talk to him, but I’m not sure he likes me at all…
There is this guy in my class in grade 8, I kinda like him and I’m. It really sure of his feelings , he has lots of friends and so do I but when we’re around each other were both really quiet. I’m really shy around him and I assume he is too , but he is odd he can go from being a social butterfly to just sitting there looking at his phone in complete silence , he has hung out with me once because he said he had no one else to hang out with after school so he came and hung out with my friends and I , and we talked a bit with my friends around but when it was just him and I it was a bit awkward , and we were sitting inside and my friend says she is going inside and he says oh I am too and there was still 2 other people sitting down and he calls me over to walk with them , then when we got inside there was 2 empty couches and out of all the spots he chooses to sit exactly across from me but he didn’t say anything I think he might be shy around me, a week or so later he always smiles at me when I’m late in the morning (whitch is everyday) and he says hi to me whenever he sees me but then doesn’t continue the conversation but it’s always him first to say hi, then one day at school my friend and I were talking and my back was turned to him and he comes up and starts hitting me on the back playfully till he got my attention, and another day I felt like wearing pj pants to school (something he routinely does) and he commented me and said nice pjs , and one day I was drawing and his sister draws then he complimented me and said nice drawings , and just yesterday we were both hanging out with our friend groups and we saw each other and he smiles and says hi and I say nice pjs and then he walks to the youth centre we’re I routinely hangs out and he knows that but the doors were locked so they left and I was sad but I’d only seen him go to the youth centre once before and that’s because he had no were else to go and he knows I go there a lot, I was told by my friend he had this thing with a girl but it could possibly be over or has ended badly and she said wait for it blow over then she’ll help me and they are really good friends so I’m thankful , I’m just really scared of rejection cuz he is a different sort of person and if he found out and thought it was funny then the entire grade would know in an hour , and I just don’t wanna make a fool out of myself, yes he has a phone but he hasn’t asked for my number or anything , and when we’re in class he mostly talks to his friends but sometimes asks me dumb little questions, I’m trying to figure out if he is just one of those social guys or if he is social and shy and that’s why he acts so weird but it just confuses me because we’ve known each other since like grade 3 and he always seemed to hat me then this year we finally started to be nice to each other and he is acting strange, like I see him the entire day and he seems to talk a lot but usually only to his circle so when he started talking to me I was surprised , and the other thing is the wheeling/ gf thing he has going on I don’t know if there still together or not but he Clara this way with me , also says my friend when he likes Simone he makes a lot of contact. Sorry this is so long I just wanted to give you a lot of details so you could give me a in depth response, so what do you think?…
hiii!!! So my crush is super shy, he always is around me… I mean in the hallways and in PE. But since I am new to this school I have almost never talked to him. My best friend told him I liked him and he got super red and he walked away and since my friend told him he and his friends have been literally stalking me. My friends realized this and agreed to call them the Mafia . Sooo the Mafia has been around me like for two weeks now… in lunch they always walk around me or pass besides my table even though it is the largest way to the bathroom. They go to the bathroom like 15 times during lunch passing besides me and I am sitting there trying to not blush while he passes. ♀️ What I have noticed is that he copies my positions in class I mean if I sit with my legs crossed he does the same thing, he also walks with his head down every single time he passes besides me ( I really don’t know what this means ), he also tried to learning Spanish cause I saw his computer in class (I am Latina he is Russian) so it really triggers me that I can’t understand him when he talks to his friends. Do you think he likes me or just that I see it that way cause I like him????
His copying your movements is a dead giveaway that he’s into you!!
A band that I go see has a cute member that is always making eye contact with me and smiling! I am very attracted to him which is very rare for me as I work with over 400 men. Whether he is playing on Stage or having a drink at the bar before he performs he is making eye contact yet never comes over to me. I was told if a guy is into you he will come to you. Is this true? For all I know he could have a girlfriend and just likes to flirt. I can’t stop thinking about him and try to see them perform once a month. What would you do?
You are right. He’ll come over to you if he’s into you. If he’s making eye contact that says he’s at least thinking about it!
SAME but mine is everytime I go roller skating their is this guy their who is close to my age. And the first time I went I remember him always starring at me, even when I was skating. And we also catches eye contact most of the time. But yet we don’t attend the saw school but we live close by each other. And the first time I saw him I was like forget it, I’m gonna go ask for his social media so I did, and once I got it we started snapchating, texting, once I got to know him he was cool really cool. But I also remember my friends kept saying he was starring at my butt. I didn’t know if it was true, so I asked him and it denyed it. And yesterday I went back skating after about a month or so and he was working, and as soon as I walk in the building I saw he starring at me. Constantly, even when someone was trying to talk to him. It was very awkward because when I was skating he made me loose my focus because of how much he was starring. And right there I knew he had a crush on me, because even on the phone the texted were like he was trying to get to know me and turns out we had a few things in common. But like I said yesterday when k sat close to where he was working with my cousins, I saw him leaning on the counter with his arm on the desk and his other fist on his chin starring at me like I was a tv or something. But I really don’t know if he likes me because I’m no expert. But everytime I ask him was he starring he Denys it even when o have wittnesses, sometimes it feels like his shy or something, because of his actions.
first, no guy will ever admit to staring at you or your butt. So let that go. Sounds like he’s into you! Good job for getting is social media info. now you’ve got to move to in person.
My new boss that just started at my job ive noticed hell pass through my dept and look at me and walk out of the room before i even started saying hi to him then once i did i waved to him being silly saying hi since hes a nice calm guy then he responded doing the same back, then next i noticed he would see me walking to other depts in the store he wouldn’t show anything around others but when hes alone hell linger around my dept passing and quickly looks to make his presence known to me and he would do this a few times one day ,other times he wont come around at all . Then hell pass right through my dept actually walking towards me and looks at me saying hi looking at my name badge all the time when hes close around me, there was a few times he was really face to face with me n looks down at my name tag saying hi to me like close enough to where he could of kissed me that kind of close. Then i was puncing back into lunch he was at that spot he happened to be in then he stood inback of me really close to see my full name .. i felt comfortable in his presence it gives me a giddy feeling when he does anything that ive mentioned i dont know why but he has a positive vibe .then a relative waited to pick me up when i was done for the day, when i waved bye to him before leaving with shopping bags he started walking out after me when i got in the car i saw him look at me through the glass windows before i stepped in the car, when i got into the car he walked outside and looked at me from the doorway then walked back in the building quick… now he does this still while my relative is waiting for me he’ll come out and look at my relative in the car before i get outside to leave then walks back in the building. . Im confused at his signals and what they really mean,
I knew him since I was nine, but we never talked.it wasn’t until I hit the 9th grade and it was the second week of school during lunch as my friends and I walked we stoped, because my friends wanted to buy something from the student store and as I turned we were facing each other and I’m not even kidding I do not remember what happened like my mind went blank. It felt like time stopped until I heard my friend call out my name and realized that he was still standing there. As I turned I looked back and recognized him, that was the first time I saw him since I was nine. As the day went on idk why, but that situation kept on popping up in my head. Since that day I kept on seeing him around school. One day as I talked to my friends outside our class I felt like someone staring and as I look down the hall he was there… leaning against the wall we made eye contact and he looked away quick. As weeks went by it was just random eye contact when ever we passed by each other and I started to have a crush on him. but I didn’t think much of it, because that one friend I told that I had a crush on him she knew and talked him and she told that she thinks he likes this other girl. as I walked with my friend to her class and then started to walk to my class I saw him coming down the hallway. I tried to ignore it, but as soon as passed him a couple of seconds later my friend called me and ran to me. She told me that when me and my crush passed each other he turned to look at me . A couple weeks later I started to take the bus every day after school and a week later he started to take the same bus as me with two of his friends. One day on a Friday as I was sitting at the bus stop I had my earphones on with music playing and out of nowhere I see left as I look up his friend was like kinda pushing him towards me and elling me something which I did not hear until I took my earphones off and he was telling me if I thought he was cute and all I could think of anything and the only thing that came out of my mouth was ” I don’t even know him like that” and his friend looked at him and did aww she think your ugly and he just smile of embarrassment and looked down. The three of them just sat next to me waiting for the bus and I looked to the side and he was just sitting there looking down .when the bus arrived I got up and I heard when his friend asked him if he wanted to take the bus, but he stayed looking down and just shakes his head. In my way home all that was running theu my head was confusion. On Monday after school when I got in the bus he also got in the bus with his friend. I went to sit towards the back and he sat in the back too basically facing me and when I look up my crush sat all the way in the front. I heard his friend calling him over to sit in the back, but he saw me and and just shaked his head to his friend. also this one day when my crush didn’t take the bus I sat in the back, but three of his friends sat behind me. I put my earphones on so I wouldn’t hear anything, but at one point they tapped my shoulder and said something about chance, but I couldn’t hear because the bus was to loud. The rest of the year went with us catching eye contact. Me catching him glance at me. Sophomore year came I figured that I was over it, but as we saw each other we made eye contact again. That whole year went on with eye contact and him staring. Also when I would take the bus his friends would tease him when he was around me.junior year came and same thing, but I didn’t see him as much since he was in the soccer team. Now is senior year and I figured okay I’m over it. We catch eye contact here and there, but not as much as the other years. I hardly see him anymore and when i go get food he does to so sometimes when he is waiting in line he’s like looking around and when I walk in the cafeteria he looks we make eye contact and we. It’s look away. One day after school I had a soccer game at school and after I had to take the bus. As I was waiting in the bus stop I look up and see him also pming to the bus stop, but from practice. All I can think about is what a coincidence is only us two at the bus stop and is pretty late so is empty. Like 2 minutes later he asked me if I had a gamebut he looked nervous, but I as I was answering him I couldn’t keep the eye contact because he was just staring at me as I was talking and he told about their game and stuff. When I stopped talking he looked nervous and looked like he didn’t know what to say and we were both just in our phone. I guess it is pretty hard when is two shy people. Since then it just been some random eye contact and he takes glances sometimes when I catch him. But it’s been like months and the year is almost ending with us almost going into spring break and getting super close to PROM and graduation. I just really want to know if he’s over me or if he even was into me? I had a crush on him since freshman year…I want to be able to talk to him at one point before we graduate and possibly never see each other again. But then I think about it and what if he likes someone else. What if he’s not interested. He isn’t like the other years that you can tell if he gets nervous and stuff . I’m confuse
OMG, the boy i like does that stuff!!!!! Like one day, he’ll be all nice and smiley and staring at me and talking to me and blushing and laughing, then the next day he’s ignoring me and he’s just staring at me. And whenever i look over at him he’s always looking at me but when i catch him he looks away fast then looks back when he thinks I’m not looking. He also sticks up for me when people are giving me a hard time and he does me favors,like one time i asked him to come early to help me with something and he came!!! But he does all that stuff like the holding my eye contact, and blushing, and touching me for no apparent reason, and talking quieter when i’m talking with him and standing really close to me and staring at me and getting irritated or mad when i talk to one of my guy friends, but he confuses me because he does that thing where he ignores me but stares at me and stuff and that’s what is making me unsure about whether to tell him that i like him. And also everytime i walk by him with his friends he starts talking really loud, and he comes up to me and asks me random questions and starts conversations out nothing lol and everytime he does some thing or somebody compliments him he looks over at me first. H also puts his hand by mine s that they’re touching, or he puts some part of him on me so that we’re touching but he doesn’t pull away, he just looks over at me then looks away blushing and smiling. So please help me, why does he ignore me sometimes??? Thanks for taking the time to answer my question!
There’s a shy boy that likes me and all his friends say that he likes me. I try to talk to him and he just stays quiet. I’m trying to ask him a question and he walks away. But he has my kik and he only contacts me by that way. Never face to face.
So I’m assuming kik is texting? If he’s not talking to you in person, you’ve got to let him come to you in his own time. Looks over my blog on how to attract him. And if you’ve got more questions after that get back in touch. Remember you’ve got to attract him. Don’t be tempted to chase.
So what if the guy just stares for a long period of time? Can that also indicate that he likes me? Because my crush knows that i like him after his friend told him and now he won’t stop staring. I can’t say i hate the staring though. But what does that mean???
Yep, he’s into you. When guys stare that’s a dead giveaway. Don’t be afraid to chat him up!
There’s this guy who can barely say two words to me; all he does is text me telling me he misses me and I’m on his mind!
I don’t know if I should believe him.
If he’s saying that it’s probably true. But only when his desire for you outweighs his shyness will he do anything about it. You may need to help him out of his shell. Without more details I can’t tell you exactly what to do, but I’d start by every so often trying to chat a little bit with him. Not too much. Just be sweet and brief and you’ll gently attract him in.
Hi,
I am hoping you can help me out. I have been talking to an extremely shy man for a few months. I initiate all the time. The other week he finally passes by me at a party and said hi Mary… And mumbled something else.. Like have a good evening. I was super excited. He never uses my name. Well. I went by myself without any friends to his church and he again said hi. He didn’t seem as nervous as usual. I caught him after services and asked to talk. He said he was busy but if I let him know I’m coming he would do it next time. I explained his sister knew I was coming and he apologized and said he was working (want the heck?) so I said fine…call me. He then explained in front of everyone (not yelling but some people still milling about) that he doesn’t like to call girls due to giving the wrong impression. I felt humiliated. I let it go as he said he could spare some time. I asked about a party I had invited him to and he explained he is very bad at replying to invites. (sent through mail as I don’t have his number) and he’s working on that. He said sometimes he feels down or family stuff comes up so a lot of time he just shows up and he put his hand on my shoulder and said he knew that wasn’t a good thing. He apologized twice for hurting my feelings (where he got that idea, I don’t know) and then I said I wouldn’t bother him with any invites of he didn’t want them. He didn’t say yes or no. I said we were doing something soon and he said he wasn’t into that. He was more of a sports guy. We talked a few min about baseball since I like it too and laughed and he put his hand on my shoulder again and said it was nice to talk to you. So… I’m confused. He didn’t shake or stutter this time…although he did ramble a bit and spoke longer than he said he could….but it sounded like a complete rejection to me. He doesn’t want to call due to wrong impression? Should I give up? I don’t understand that exchange at all.
I think he’s afraid of rejection himself so he’s trying to reject you (but he’s not doing a very good job of it!)
My advice would be to quit trying to hard and mentally let him go. Be nice and kind when he’s around. Your job as a female is to attract him to you. So be sweet, nice and open so that he’s compelled to come over to you.
This one just needs more time. But don’t be afraid to date anyone else. You’ve got to take care of yourself in case he doesn’t see the light!
Dear traci, the gym manager at the gym I work out is attracted to me big time.I,ve only noticed this since Sept,2014..long time. He checks me out all the time, positions himself either in his office(where he has adjusted his computer to not only be able to do his work but get prime real estate to see me when I,m only the stationary bike) or when he,s in the lobby area he will look back from time to time to glance at me, when he,s doing tours with potential clients and I,m on the bike he will walk close by me.one time he was vacuuming and when I went to the treadmill he came and vacuumed next to the empty treadmill right next the one I was on.He,s always glancing at me when he can and when I try to make eye contact he looks away,to the side or down.Even when he,s ready to leave for the day he will stay an extra 10 or 15 mins and talk with the other employees and when he does that he’s always looking back at me.I checked the employee handbook and it does make mention of office romance and if he and I were to get together he would have to inform corporate about it and they would have to determine if it would be a problem or if it would interfere with his work and me being a client. Would am I to do I am to starting to have feelings for him as well even though the only thing we have done is say hi, bye, have a nice weekend or wave.if we can,t have any type of relationship then why is he doing what he,s doing if he can’t pursue or turn it into a potential relationship. If he can,t it leaves me no choice but to cancel my membership because my feeling have become to strong and I think he feels the same.Can you from what I,ve described explain what he might be feeling or his behavior.HELP!!
Ok I have a few things to say. First, How did you get your hands on the company handbook? Second. I’m not much of a rule follower. Nobody at corporate is going to approve any relationship and if you’re hinging what you’re going to do on that you’re letting someone else run your life, which is just not what anyone should be doing.. Here’s what I would do. If you want to go big, just ask him out and keep it under wraps. See if you like the guy and if he likes you for a couple of dates. If it becomes a thing then cancel your membership if you can’t be cool around each other and pretend like nothing is going on. If that’s too forward, just see if he wants to get a smoothie at the club. Or if you want to be really sly, just come up with some business reason to chat him up. Like maybe you wanted to see if he could do a better rate on your membership or something like that. But any way you slice it, he’s giving you the green light and you probably should do something about it. Either that or keep yourself in turmoil. If worse comes to worse and you cancel but then it doesn’t work out between you two, just join up again. That’s my 2 cents.
I got the company handbook online.It states if 1.you become romantically involved with employee, 2.vendor or 3. customer you must call there corporate office and let them know, if it’s 1. then both have to sign some consensual agreement whatever. Remember in the first information I sent you he has been doing the following: staring, glancing at me, checking me out, positioning himself in his office to not only do work on the computer but get prime real estate watching me, when he conducts tours with potential new members he will walk close behind me if I am on the bike and will stop either behind me or to the side when conducting your, if he,s in the lobby area of the gym standing around and if I pass by he will look straight ahead and not say anything but when I pass by he will turn to look my direction. He has no problems talking to the customers and the women customers but with me he ignores, and expects me (I guess) to say hi first.Also he actually started (in a discreet way)theses feeling first.why can,t he just tell me..even though we only once in a while say hi or bye so we don’t know each other that well.Again to my knowledge he,s been feeling this way since Sept,2014..months.Whats his problem? Help. Really starting to develop feelings for him.
Ok so now you have 2 choices. 1. Keep yourself in angst or 2. make a move. He may be holding himself back because of the rules. If you just get it out in the open you’ll do both of you a favor so you can either get together or move on.
Approximately two years ago a married man at work, with two children (girls) who are at the beginning of their teen years, started flirting with me by his glances and smiles. He does look away quickly when I catch him staring at me and then looks back again. He pulled me in emotionally and I haven’t been able to stop my feelings for him. He’s a few years younger than I am, but we look and act around the same age. Approximately a year and a half ago I confronted him about my feelings . Before I had a chance to say much, he looked away and said, “you’re not falling in love with me are you? If you are, you have to stop.” I told him I wasn’t sure, but I knew I had feelings for him and if things were different it would be good to hook up. I could tell it freaked him out. Twice before I walked out of his office we said we loved each other, but he looked away when he told me. He became comfortable talking with me in his office, but it would shift to him being uncomfortable. His behavior still goes back and forth. If I ignore him, he still attempts to get my attention. The other night several of us from the office went out, but he only stayed a short time. It was an event to pick up the moral at the office. He had a few beers and seemed to have chilled out a bit. Periodically he would look at me sideways with flirty eyes and a sly smile. I walked away to another area for a bit and when I came back, he had left. It is unfortunate he even has difficulty going to lunch with our team members that he gets along with and consistently works with at our office. Most of them are guys with similar personalities – all techies. A while back I asked him to go to lunch with us. He looked away & there was brief silence. Then he looked back at me and asked me how many people were going. I told him 8 and he told me it was too many people. One day he was talking about the guys coming into his office bugging him all the time. I mentioned to him that by saying that I guess I was bugging him too. He looked away and told me I didn’t bug him. That I was spice. He locked me in emotionally and now I feel stuck. I ignore attention from other men, because I feel that I am in love with this guy. I know I should probably run the other way, but I can’t seem to do that. I’m really not sure how to get over this situation. Please don’t comment on the moral issue. Just not sure if this will move forward, or if it will end.
Ok here’s what I think. Moral issue aside, why would you want to be with a guy who cheats? Even if he does leave his wife and kids to be with you, he’ll just do the same thing to you when it’s convenient. And you deserve more than that. These things rarely work out and the guys usually end up back with their family. So save yourself the angst. Open yourself up to other guys. You’ll be glad you did.
So, I’ve Been having This huge Crush On a Boy I’m Not Sure feels The Same Way . Sometimes In The hall, He Looks At me but Then passes Me likes He wants Me To notice him Or something.
What’s weird Is During Class He Seems To Be staring At Me alot And Then Like The last Few minutes Of Class, He went Right behind Where Another kid sits And He sat On The floor supposedly To Play and The kidwas On a desk And I Was sitting In My desk Right In front Of Him And It seemed weird To Me Because He Doesn’t Talk to That kidMuch And He stayed there For About 8 minutes.
Does he like Me?
All I can say is maybe! He wants to ‘play’ with another kid? Are y’all in jr high?
Yes Ma’am.
He Left His own friends whom He Usually hangs out With And Went With The Boy In The desk sitting Right Behind Me And And He stayed there With him For About 8 minutes Playing On Their electronics. I Don’t Know, It seemed To Me like He Wanted To Beclose To Me Because He Usually Doesn’t Talk with That Boy. Please, What does This mean? He stares At Me All The Time.
If he’s letting his gaze linger he’s checking you out but he’s not confident enough to do anything about it yet.
Hi,
I’m currently in college. I have a crush on this guy in my art class that I barely know. I caught him staring at me in class a few times. He gets uncomfortable around me when he had to sit next to me. I felt like I scared him (it was the same look a guy had when I was in high school). I thought it might have something to do with me being deaf. I felt like it was my fault. He is confident around his friends and girls he know but is shy around me. It drove me crazy. When I was about to leave my class, he got these dilated eyes. I do not think he like me if he is not talking to me.
Wow! You’re pretty good at watching people if you’re noticing dilated eyes. That’s a sure sign he likes what he sees! And whenever his gaze lingers that’s another sign he’s into you. He may be nervous because you’re deaf and not know what to do. So you may need to be a little more aggressive in this situation and chat him up while training him how to communicate with you so that you’re both comfortable. Let me know how this one turns out!
Hi, Traci
I asked a classmate who know the guy I like. Sadly, it turned out he has a girlfriend. Yeah, It stings. I guess my overthinking has got to me. Thank you for your advice.
Hi. I don’t know if this site in general will cost me, but I’m interested in this guy. He stares at me for long period of time. he blushes sometimes and from across the room once. He slightly agreed with me in a group discussion. he looks ,then when I look he looks away. we have mutual friends. I applaud him at something and he looked at me and smiled, while he blushed that I acknowledged him. He randomly joined in 2 different conversations I had with my friends, at 2 different times. What does that mean?
Sounds like he’s into you big time, especially with that blushing. So just make yourself available and approachable and he’ll come your way more and more. With guys if you push or try to rush things you’ll drive him off. Good luck!
Hello
What does it mean if the guy looks at me then looks away by smoothing out his hair? That same night, a huge group of us went out and he was chillin with his friends with his back towards me and I was way across the room with my friends, he turns around to look over and smiled slightly. Twice, I saw him sitting in the parkinglot, while I walked out. I’m not sure if he waits for me or not to see me leave or maybe that could be a coincidence. Also, we had a big group discussion in a huge circle(college group) where he happened to sit across from me literally. So I said something in the discussion out loud where I caught him kind of looking down thinking with him leaning forward with his arms on his thighs slightly hunched over by rubbing his hands slowly together after I said the ‘something”. I know I may be reading into all this,but I need help to figure this out. Thanks! 🙂
Smoothing his hair is a sure sign he’s into you! Combine that with a look that lingers a bit and you know he like you. Just keep making yourself engaging and easy to chat with. He’ll be drawn to you more and more.
hello Mrs. Brown!
I have a guy that I’m not sure is interested in me, but i sometimes catch him glancing my way and he also stands near my locker sometimes in the mornings. This has only happened once or twice though! So I’m still uncertain…
Lilly–Scroll down thru the comments. He’s just like every other guy. There will be lots of intel for you if you just read down a bit.
Hi, Mrs.Brown I have so much to ask you about this guy!
Well first he use to check me out before i even noticed him and now that i have he just gets cuter and cuter. So we are in college and we have class together and I caught him a few times looking at me and he looked away quickly and he’s so quiet in class and sits a row across from me. me and my friend went to eat and he showed up out the blew right after me. Then he sits literally directly at the table behind us and sits facing me. and kept looking at me and watching me and it was weird because in class he will look away so fast when i catch him and then he was telling his friends about me! I was like what the? how are you so shy in class, but then so different around your friends? it didnt make sense? Then he always lingers around at the end of class when im there and after when I walk out i see him and he gives me funny looks like he thinks im weird or something because I always look at him then he avoids eye contact but i can tell he’s really self conscious around me. He never smiles at me or has approached me or anything so i just thought he had a girlfriend but now i don’t think so. Sometimes I even catch him staring at me when i leave like he’ll turn around and watch me walk away. I can even remember this one time we had a test in our class and i looked over at him and i saw him looking back from the corner of his eye. Then after he was done he walked up to our teacher and started asking him things about finance. But I was still finishing and where they were standing it was a clear shot to look in my direction and he kept looking up then looking away. It was weird, then i left and he went out the door all shyly and looked my way and left. And I also think after class he does look my way 1 last time before he goes. eventually I coached myself to talk to him and punked out. So i emailed him, i felt so dumb doing that and i told him: (everytime i wanna say something i always get scared i will scare you away and i said maybe we could get to know eachother over food?) that was about 3 weeks ago and he hasnt responded so i think maybe he didnt know what to say or just has a girlfriend its weird. i don’t know what to do at all.
Well he’s showing some signs of interest. And since he didn’t respond to your email that just means he’s not ready to act in what feelings he does have. My advice is to just play it cool and attract him in, being forward in this scenario isn’t going to work. Make yourself
Available and he’ll move forward when he’s ready.
What does it mean if the guy looks at me then looks away by smoothing out his hair? That same night, a huge group of us went out and he was chillin with his friends with his back towards me and I was way across the room with my friends, he turns around to look over and smiled slightly. Twice, I saw him sitting in the parkinglot, while I walked out. I’m not sure if he waits for me or not to see me leave or maybe that could be a coincidence. Also, we had a big group discussion in a huge circle(college group) where he happened to sit across from me literally. So I said something in the discussion out loud where I caught him kind of looking down thinking with him leaning forward with his arms on his thighs slightly hunched over by rubbing his hands slowly together after I said the ‘something”. I know I may be reading into all this,but I need help to figure this out. Thanks! 🙂
Sorry about the other one twice printed. Here’s a NEW one, same guy.He is in his own group talking with his back to me. I sit a few feet away with my friend talking, acting silly. He slightly moves his left side of his body with his leg out turning slightly towards me. Then,I think I said something cool to my friend,so he then turns to stand against the wall. What does that mean? Also,while I started putting chairs away in a big room,he’s in the hallway next to that room with the door open. He stands there by himself to watch me,so it seemed. A group of us went to Dennys. He decides to come along. He ended up sitting across from me at the table with his friend. He seemed to ignore my friends and I, while talking to his friend. His body towards me,but his head to his friend. He said to his friend that he was all about the music while (his palm facing down with fingers towards me). I wasn’t sure if he was implying that to me or not. I had 2 friends on each side of me at the table. The weird part was like he couldn’t look at me in the eyes at all. He’d focus on the t.v. above,his friend,his milkshake. It was odd. Also,I said something heartfelt in a group discussion(him sit across from me) ,and I caught him looking to the ground while rubbing his hands together,slowly. What would that gesture mean? 🙂
Sounds like he’s into you and just trying to figure out what to do. Guys are so dumb sometimes! Rubbing his hands together can indicate that he’s nervous and has some kind of expectation moving forward. Generally slowly indicates a negative expectation but since I can’t see the scene myself it’s hard to be definite about that. Have you tried to just chat him up when he’s alone? I’m curious how that would go.
hi ms. brown, i like this guy, he’s super tall and he’s super shy; i used to talk to a little bit but not that much but when we talked he would laugh and smile; so i told his best friend that i liked him so each day she would try to get him and i to talk but today i walked pasted him and said hi.. he replied back and walked away really fast ( during class i gave him a not with my phone number on it and it said “please read when your alone”. i started to think that he liked me but one day during lunch he was sitting with his friends having lunch in the library and i was with my friends not to far away then out of no where his friends started calling my name and acting like they didn’t, then outta no where one of his friends gave me a note saying ” will you date me check yes or no” i replied to the note checking yes and no… i had next class with him so i went up to him and asked was the not from him and he said no… i walked away feeling really hurt then i started to think maybe he sees me as a joke. I’m just confused on if he likes me or if he’s just playing games and i mean a lot of times he looks at me around the class room and i try to act like I’m not looking at him . im just lost and i need some answers
How old are you two? High school? Jr High? All of that makes a difference. Based on what I can pick up from your description, I think you might have scared him a bit with that note. Clearly he showed it to his buddies. If I were you I’d back off a bit. Be nice and smile and chat him up when you get the chance. But in this case you’ve got to give it some time to repair the damage that’s been done. He’s not going to make a move till he feels comfortable. Think about attracting him in instead of going after him. It can be a much longer process but then you’ll know he’s really ready when he comes your way.
Hi, I’m Sabahat Kausar. I like boy and I did a chat with him on his email as a stranger, but then we talked for another time and I also told him that I like him and he said we can continue the friendship but after he came to know that once we’ve been in the same class he never talked to me after That day . And in school he always try to hide and never talks to anybody. Honestly speaking he is so quite and never talk to anybody about anything. Is he into me??
Form the sounds of things I’d say he’s probably not. If you catch him looking at you lots and then looking away, I’d say you have a chance to get him to come around. But until you start seeing signs similar to that it’s a no go.
There is this guy in my class. I had confessed my feelings to him a long time ago and his friends tease us alot. Calling me as his wife. Whenever they see me they tease and start hooting. Recently he was standing alone constantly staring me. His friends saw and teased him alot. And when later he was confronted by his friends he turned red. Specially his ears though he didn’t accept. And my friends have noticed that he does turns super conscious around me and tries looking at me from the corner of his eyes. Even his ears turns red when he is near me. And he speaks very less even when he is with his friends. Today while he was talking with his friends one of them hit him in fun and I was sitting beside him. Though his friend did It in fun but he was hurt and he didn’t say a word and I believe if he was just with his friends he would have shouted.
Oh wow, you got him turning red? That’s great!! He’s into you. His buddies aren’t helping the situation. This one might be a hard one to break thru because of them, especially if he’s shy to start with. Just keep making yourself available but let him make the first move.
He is really shy and he won’t accept the fact easily. He knows that I used to like him at some point of time. He just doesn’t accept what he does and I don’t think he will make a move. What should I do? I don’t wanna take another step because I don’t want to come as desperate. Though he is good friend with a girl from my bunch of real close friends but she also turns as a partner in crime with his friends while teasing.
Guy talk a lot less than women. What I’m guessing is that he’s switched gears from ‘get the girl’ to ‘I have the girl, I’m comfortable and don’t have to try any more’. Most couples do a poor job of defining their needs in a relationship and how exactly they feel loved. So you two need to have a conversation about exactly what it is that has you feel loved. Sounds like it’s not touch but rather something you hear. This is going to require that he gets outside of his comfort zone and create a new, bigger comfort zone. I could go on and on but this is the basics of it. If he’s committed to the relationship being long lasting he’ll come around. He may need to hear it from someone else like a therapist or good friend but first he needs to realize there’s a problem. SO sweetly let him know and if that doesn’t wokr you might have to get louder about it.
. The thing I confessed that I like him when I didn’t knew him much and same for him I.e a year and half ago. That time he said nothing.he started staring alot so I just directly asked him what’s the matter and he said nothing is there. And he kind of rejected me. A few months later his friends sent a rose for me under his name and he didn’t knew about it. After the rejection I was so pissed that I confronted all of his friends and asked them to stop all this. Even that day he wasn’t able to have an eye contact and he stammered though he is perfect when it comes to speaking. After that day all this is happening now at a higher level since 2 to 3 months. All those stares, blushing and stammering and turning Completely conscious and red always. And I don’t want to talk about it again cause I know he doesn’t accept it and he may say anything that might hurt me. I want him to come but I don’t want to talk or initiate. Please Tell me how.
I don’t know that there’s a ‘formula’ on how to get him to come around. By forcing it, you’ll end up driving him away! Guys like the chase and to take that step out of the process rarely works. I’d just kill his friends with kindness. Once you can turn them around to rooting for you because you’re so darn cool to them, they’ll give him the chance to come around and maybe even push him to do it. This is going to take lots of strength from you and to be committed to the long term because guys can be such jerks. But when you get the group working for you you’ll have a much better chance of success. I have lots of resources that dig deeper into the strategy of using body language and persuasion skills if you want to go that far. The skills in my Body Language for Profits book would be a great fit. Of course you’d have to get a little creative and adapt the skills to this situation.
Where can I find the book?
I’ll try both ways maybe.
You have a few options here. The first option is the most comprehensive, others have good info to get you going, too. http://bodylanguagetrainer.com/body-language-books
Thankyou. I hope something will work out. 🙂
I was going cool with them. And yesterday my friend was talking to him on messages and suddenly asked him What’s up with him. Why he stares me so much. And he said what do I say. Speechless. I just look around. If she is there then what do I do. I Am not interested nothing can happen.
Though my friend says he is just playing with words because she had asked him same thing before and he turned red. What should I do now. We have 2months break now.
If you’re not interested then you’re not interested. Sounds like there’s nothing to do!
Hi there I want to ask you something.
Iam a women I just get married to this guy.The guy iam married to doesn’t really talk to me that much when we are alone but when he is with his friends he is talking more to them so sometimes it feels to me he’s not really into me so i decided if he is not talking to me then iam not talking to him it feels like he’s avoiding me and it really hurts because we are a married couple but when we sit next to each other infront of the tv he would hold my hand sometimes put his legs and feet on me or put his hand on my leg or playing sometimes with my hair but he’s not really talking to me and what scared me the most he is not really showing his love to me and not opening his heart to me he is not telling me really how he feels about me sometimes yes he would say that he loves me but he is not showing that much to me.So what must I do about this sitsuation I feeling down a lot about this my feelings are feeling broke feels like there’s something wrong with me that iam the problem.
it sounds like he doesn’t know how to talk to you not that he doesn’t want to s he a really shy guy?
Don’t judge on just one encounter. Keep
Up the kindness and slowly attract him in. However if there’s not a general trend of him warming up to you it’s ok to turn your eye to someone who will respond!
Hi Traci! Thank you for writing this, it was an absolute pleasure to read!
I was hoping that I could seek your advice on this little guy issue that I have.
We were schoolmates for one year before I transferred out of the school. We were in the same co-curricular activity and he always dropped me regular texts. But in person, he wouldn’t talk to me as much. Despite that, he still poked fun at me both through text and when we’re in physical contact. He seems to find that entertaining, as he’d grin and smirk often. Many a time he’d noticeably stand near me and invite me to study with him as well. But he sometimes behaved coldly around me, as if we didn’t ever have a history of regular texting and all that. This made me really confused on countless occasions. My friends deduce that he’s just shy, and yes perhaps I can attribute to that as he is pretty shy and awkward, especially in my physical presence.
There was once his friends saw me and called me by his name. Now, though I’m out of the school he still initiates conversations with me through text. Sometimes I purposely make the conversation die out because I’m lazy to entertain him, but he still continues to text me persistently. Do you think that he just finds it fun to disturb me or he does like me, but doesn’t really know how to express himself? I’ve been puzzled and sometimes perturbed by his actions for quite a while, now. I so find it impossibly difficult to read him!
I’d say he’s into you and you’re right on the money when you say he doesn’t know how to express himself. I’d guess that when you’re together and he seems cold it’s similar to when you get too lazy to entertain him over text. This relationship might not progress until he grows up a bit and learns how to treat a lady. How old are you two?
Thank you so much for your valuable input and for replying me! 🙂
We’re both 18. Does our age really matter a lot though? Haha!
So there is this boy in school and he keeps looking at me and when I stare at him he is still looks at me.He is always trying to show of by ridding his skate board and the way he dresses. Then his friend said if I like him and said he could hook me up with him. Can you please help me! Is this a joke or is he being serious?
Well, I don’t know how trustworthy his friend is but clearly he’s got his eye on you. Here’s the thing, you never want to have to go thru his wingman to get him to talk to you! He’s got to have the gumption to come over to you himself! Relationships work much better that way and have a chance to last. NExt time he skates by in his fancy clothes just stop him and chat. There’s no harm in that!
Traci, the thing is, with this guy, he never seems to be alone. He is usually in groups with his friends. It’s challenging to talk to him alone. On Friday, our leader of the group had a discussion on where do we see ourselves in 5 years. As soon as that was said, the guy which was sitting across from me, leans back with his arms rested behind his head, with him I believe blushing with a small pink a bit looking at me a second. We went out to eat again, but THIS time he sat on the same side of table ,just 2 people away from me. So,I got up to make a phone call away from the table. His back now in front of me. As I was on the phone for abit, I caught him turning his head all the way around to look in my direction but with a slight look down with a tiny smile, even though ALL his friends were talking at the table. What would that mean? Also,if I try to talk to him alone,it will be like ME initiating instead of HIM to doing it. I thought that if he wants to talk to me ,that HE would approach if he REALLY wanted to chat or get to know me. I guess with that part,I’m confused.
The arms resting behind this head says that he’s looking for superiority in the situation-this could be because he thinks his 5 year plan is better than anyone else’s! You’re right, he should approach you about romantic things, but it’s ok to have a regular conversation about whatever is going on….like what did he think of the discussion, what’s his 5 year plan, etc. Don’t be afraid to talk to guys and be friendly, just don’t make big romantic moves. That’s my 2 cents.
There is this guy that i like and he’s a total chick magnet but he’s really shy and so It’s hard for me to get a good read on him, he’s never done more than kiss a few girls even though he could have done a to more with a lot of girls and i like that a lot because the guys I’ve been with in the past were much more pushy and he’s just a gorgeous sweet heart but i don’t know how to approach him he looks at me during the class we have together but he looks away really fast so I’m not even sure if he’s looking at me and he added me on snapchat and we were talking but he had to go and he said i have to go but we should talk again and that could totally be meant in a friend way because besides that he never flirts but then again he’s sooooo shy and were both freshman iim lost because i don’t know how to act around him because I’m shy too but i could see me and him working well together because he’s totally my type please get back to me before i make a fool of my self I’m so lost he’s one of the only guys this year that I’ve liked that doesn’t just straight up tell me he likes me. please help me I’m so lost
The key in this situation is to be yourself!! You’re thinking way too much about how to behave and that’s bound to lead to doing something you’ll regret later. If he won’t talk to you and you’re being your regular self then it’s not meant to be. You only job is to let yourself shine and just chat him up with no attachment to the outcome. Guys are very intrigued by that and you’ll attract him in.
Omg! I’m not sure if it’s true that this kid likes and I really like him and he already knows that I do, but were both really shy. In the mornings at school my friends well tell me that he’s looking over in my direction. I see him around school and we make eye contact in the hallways, but he always seems to avoid being right next to me, like in the morning I will be with my friends and he will be with his friends but when I seem to move out of his sight of view towards one of the exits for advisory he seems to follow from a distance, he glances over in a way like he wants to say something but can’t, so then he flips his hair and walks a little ahead of me. I’ve added him on a social network site and he added me back I feel it would be easier to talk to him this way, but I don’t want to feel like a burden, does anyone have any suggestions on how to talk to him 🙂
Sounds like he’s into you. Whenever guys look at you and then look away and smooth their hair at the same time it’s a dead giveaway…
Thank you Traci!!! everyone’s been telling me that he likes me, but I wanted to hear it from someone else who is professional and doesn’t know the sitchu at all, anyways thank you for taking your personal time to respond!
He likes you Kayla!I see the way he looks at you!
thank you for getting back to me and i think he likes me my friend was talking about it and she didn’t know that i liked him were maybe going to do a big group hang out this weekend i could really see my self liking him I’m so happy he might like me
I am really confused now. This guy in my class use to stare at me a lot in the semester and would always place himself close to me or across from me when in a group. I also noticed he attempted to speak to me a few times and I started getting nervous and turned my focus on others. a while back he caught me looking at him and as soon as our eyes met I shifted my glance and never looked at him again. Now he seems to avoid looking at me when were having a discussion in a group situation we quickly locked eyes as he came over and turned away from me and all could see was his back. He seems to be avoiding me now has he lost interest or is he playing games and giving me a taste of my own medicine.
Girl–First–you can’t shut him down and then expect him to keep chasing! Second, guys are people, too. And many are super sensitive to rejection. There’s no need to be nervous around them. Just have a regular conversation. Quit with the games and just talk to him. Maybe you’ll be able to regain his interest or you might have blown it forever. But if you don’t give him a little effort and attention you’ll never know. Good luck!
Hello, I’m really curious what’s happening..
I’m a college/high schooler student, I’ve had a crush on a guy for quite a long time, he doesn’t talk to anyone at all. We’re strangers but we do know each other from physical appearance, we’re both shy. But he’s extremely shy, however there was this one time I approached him and he walked/ran off. But here is the thing.. My mates said that he does that to everyone.. When I see him he’s completely normal walking by strangers but around me he walks faster I guess and avoids me as much as possible. I catch him staring at me or looking at my direction in a distance and I looked at him and he looked away, he also walks around where I normally hang around, twice or few times during breaks. But also there are girls after him as well, I’m sure he has no interest in them at all because they approach him and I’ve seen him just ignore everyone that approaches him. (Includes males but mostly females) But I always had a thought he would ignore me as well and walk off like I was nothing to him.. I’m also just a grade under him.. I’m really confused. Much appreciated if you give me hints on what to do. Thank you! 🙂
It you’ve got a good handle on the situation but just confused by his behavior. Yep, you’ve got a shy guy on your hands. Sounds like you’ve got to wait for him to come around. I’m suspecting fear of rejection is what he’s experiencing so he prematurely takes himself out of situations that could lead him to pain. The trouble is that those situations could likely also lead him to pleasure! Clearly he’ll run if you approach so you’ve got to let go and let him come to you. It might take a while and it might be never but you want him committed rather than someone just playing around.
There is this guy that i’ve noticed has been staring at me sometimes. Like,at the cafe and he sits with his group of friends,one or two of his close friends would look at me. But i always deny that they’re looking at me. Whenever he walks by me,i also notice that he walks very close but not so close to touching. I’ve told my close friend that i think he likes me and she’s caught him staring at me quite a few times. Whenever we lock eyes we quickly look away. It get frustrating since he’s really shy around me. He gets really quiet around me sometimes. When we are in a group together or smtg,he would talk to other people but not me. I’m really confused.
Sounds like you’ve got a shy one on your hands! Guys like him mostly have a fear of rejection so just keep being kind and let him come to you. He may, or he may not. You’ve got to be cool either way. You don’t want to have him before he’s 100% ready.
Hi,
this guy I like is little older than me and I think he might like me. Last time I saw him he ignored me for some time, but stole glances when I looked elsewhere. And then when I looked around the room, he caught my eye by looking and smiling at me. Everytime I smile or laugh, he smiles widely. I’ve got to also mention the fact that he put his finger on mine and he touched my shoulder and complimented me at the same time.
What do you think?
Yep, he’s totally into you. But be cool. Don’t be too bold and scare him off now that he’s on the hook. Just keep gently inviting him in.
Thanks for the reply! However today when he walked past, I smiled and said hi like any normal person, but he just looked at the ground miserably and didn’t say nothing. What would that be about? Did he just have a crappy day?
There is this guy who actually cant look at me properly. When Im not looking at him, he looks at me properly. I came to know from my friends when they look at him while I am talking to them. But when I look at him, he get conscious. And by chance if our eyes meet he will look at me and then he will look down. I dont even know what does he want.
The thing is that he probably doesn’t know exactly what he wants either! But you have caught his eye. SO just keep being your sweet self. I’m betting he won’t talk to you if you try but over time he’ll come your way once he’s made the decision that you really are for him.
And also once he sat opposite to me in college cafe I looked at him but he was looking at others. He pretended he didnt know I was looking. But he was conscious and once i caught him too & He still just turned his head away. Then him and his friends had to go out. He was last to go out. Still he wanted to look at me but couldnt as I looked at him. Either way he wasnt able to look at me properly & I think he didnt like it that I looked at him. I dont get it. What does he want. Please help if you can.
I gotta stick to what I said before!
Ohh then I will for sure dont act in front of him!!! Thanks for replying 🙂
I dont know whether I should ask you or not but I probably thought this might hold some explaination. I mean I just ignored him for like 2 To 3 days as I thought he didnt like me. I even didnt look at him when he thought I would and he did put his head down without knowing that I didnt look at him. So after many days, I was with my friends talking but I was sitting slight far away but near enough to be able to talk to them. I then caught his friends looking at my direction by looking at him. I still ignored. But suddenly after some time he came outside where I was. To me it looked like was on purpose he was talking to some people and looking at me simultaneously. I then found him
facing me completely. But when I caught him looking at me. He suddenly looked down, looked at my body and then went away.
And after some days he did that thing such as pretending im not looking or acting nervous.
I really wanna know does he seriously like me. I will for sure act normally but would he know that I like him too because when I do look at him it seems like he wanna look somewhere else but me. But then, why he came outside for me. Please can you try to explain ma’am. Thank you
Ok, I get that you’re confused. But for real–you gotta believe me. He’s coming your way. His eye is on you. Just relax and attract him in. Too much effort will scare him off. Just be you–natural and easy going.
Hi Traci
I wonder if you can advise me. I don’t think its the guy thats shy in this problem its me.!!
I go to the gym regularly and I used to say hi to this guy and sometime we have a little chat (not much). One day we just had a little chat, and I mentioned I had a daughter. The chat finished and we carried on doing our weight training. The next time I was in the gym, suddenly he appeared next to me, doing exercises and said “I see you are in the gym nearly every day and do classes, what does your husband think of you being at the gym a lot”? – I replied, “I don’t have a husband – I am a single mum”. and then we just carried on doing our exercises. (I assumed he asked this because he was trying to find out my situation), and perhaps he may like me (I hope so). The next time he came down the gym, he shouted a big hello and waved across the room, and I gave him a big smile and we locked eyes. Well, I have a problem, and normally I am pretty confident and talk to all the men in the gym and confident at work etc. But with this man – as I quite like him and I think he may like me, I have done a big mistake, since I have seen him in the gym twice last week, I totally ignored, and tried not to look at him. I just couldn’t bring myself to look at him and eve say hello, suddenly I have lost all my confidence with him and in myself and gone completely shy, that I can’t even look at him. I really want to talk to him and say hello, but I just panic thinking about it, and I must tell you I am not young!! I am in my 40s.. I must say it is difficult as he is always busy doing weights and I don’t like to interrupt someone when they are busy. Also, he may be thinking why I am ignoring him too, and I don’t like to ignore someone and be rude. Please advise me what I can say, I was thinking ask him if he wants to join me to go for a run in the forest.. Not sure he may be into running.. I just think I have made it worse for myself now.. Please advise thanks
Ok, so if you’re panicking you’re going into anxiety and anxiety is created when you anticipate future pain. So just ask yourself as you pay attention to your thoughts–what pain are you anticipating? And is it for sure going to happen? Probably not. just knowing what’s creating the feeling will diminish it by 90%. ignoring him is certainly going to hurt the situation. But you’re both adults. SO just see if he wants to go for a run or gt a smoothie and explain that you’ve been really nervous and didn’t know how to handle it. If he’s the kind of guy you want to be with, he’ll understand. Make sure you have the conversation next time you see him and don’t let it linger. Time is not your friend when digging yourself out of a hole.
Hello Ma’am Im sorry for asking this again. I was acting Normal, my own self and he didnt see me for like more than 2 weeks but
when I came he tried to gain my attention so badly. I looked at him once in a while but not much. And then the other day he acted more than normal. I actually concluded he likes to do actions when I Am alone & Not looking at him.
Yes, he’s still shy! so what’s your question exactly?
But Ma’am my question is what should I do? Should I continue ignore him? Because whenever I try to simple look in his direction he will suddenly look away. But then I also think that he will think I hate him & Will forget about me? Plus I cant talk to him on my own because he will then deny the fact that he looks at me or do those kind of things. I mean I’m afraid he is gonna deny his feelings for me.
He may deny his feelings. But here’s the thing. you’ve got to be chill and move on. Be friendly. He’s got to come to you!
My moms befriend son always looks at me he turns red when i talk to him . This past Tuesday he wanted to show me his paper airplane he made and smlies and me and blinks his eye at me but i consider him like my cusion .
Sounds like he likes you! And I agree that it’s a bit like dating your cousin so only you can decide what to do with that.
Hi traci!
I have a problem here. I am not sure whether this guy is into me or not. I have business in this mall, so do he. And we didnt know each other, but i notice him sonce i catch him always staring n looking at me. So i found out that he is the owner of the supermarket. Which is the market is really nearby with my store. So whenever i hang around the market or my store, i catch him staring at me or looking at me. Time flies, and he started to smile at me, and one day he ask me awkward question. And after that he queit. Sometimes he will smile at me, sometimes he will do the serious look. I am not sure what his feelings towards me. But i notice that he is a shy guy, because sometimes if he want to speak with me, his face is blushing. And i remember that weeks later on, he came up to my store and ask me whether im married or not. But the question is, he always can talk to someone else, laugh n etc but with me, he cant stay any longer to chat more. Does he like me? Now, he didnt talk to me or smile at me anymore. I dont know maybe i did mistakes or hurt him, but i really not sure about his feeling. But i still catches his eyes will look at me, and look to other place if i notice him. And sometimes he will try to look at what i do at my store. Can you help me? I need to know if he hate me or what? Thanks
I doubt he hates you. Sounds like he likes you but he’s got a little fear of rejection. All you can do is be open and inviting and let him come around when he’s ready.
Hello Ma’am, Please I wanna know if a guy thinks you are friendly with your guy friend just too much & after that he keeps on ignoring you. But Ma’am his friends still look at you when you are not noticing but the guy is still avoiding you. What does it mean Ma’am?
You gotta be careful not to send mixed messages. If he’s ignoring you then that’s a pretty clear sign that he’s not into you or he’s backed off because he things you’re with someone else!
Hello Tracy, I have this male friend in school that I think likes me, his friends are aware that I like him too but he has this flirty female friend that wouldn’t let us be that also likes him too. She keeps going through his phone and harasses me by namecalling and anonymous calls. I think he allows this behaviour of hers by not letting her know her limits. He stares at me a lot sometimes I feel it could burn through clothes. There was a day I caught him staring and he could only blush and look away. He texts me almost everyday asking me about my family, school and boyfriend. He tells me about certain clothes he likes on me and wants me to wear and then told me the next day that he was only joking. I ignored him for days. One of his friends told me once that no matter what he would still come back to me. He confuses me. Is he giving mixed signs or is he shy or is he playing games or is he trying to be a good guy?
Here’s my 2 cents. Any guy who’s doing this just hasn’t decided on you yet. And shy guys are shy typically because they’re afraid of rejection. The same way he has not set his limits with this other girl, you have not set your limits with him. So you’ve got to address with him how this other girl treats you and let him know that it’s not ok. Ignoring him is not the way to send the specific message you want, words are. So don’t get sucked into the game! You’ve got to make yourself open and available and gently attract him in–so you’re irresistible..
Hi Traci,long time to chat. 🙂 So same guy,weekend trip with big groups. Throughout the trip,he looks/stared at me at different meal times. Even when he sat in front of me or 2 rows up,he’d turn his head to see me. We played a game,and he kept saying my name a bunch of times. He had a long stare at me while smiling with teeth. During our group pic,he sat in front with guys and I stood a few rows back with friends. He turns to look at me. On the last day,he was on the porch with his sis& friend. As I walked with my friends past him,as soon as he saw me,he turns around like a scared little boy and while that was happening,his sister goes,”you can’t avoid the subject”. With all this, I wonder if he will make a move at some point? or just keep admiring me without guts.Sorry to say,but possibly true on that. ……The confusing part is that ever since that weekend trip,the following weekend (where I usually see him) wasn’t there at all,so now I wonder if its for real or just from that awesome weekend with him and friends. :/ Help
this one is a stumper. If he’s not going to show up then it’s kinda hard to have a relationship or even a potential relationship. Sounds like he’s scared of moving forward so you either have to wait it out and be at his whim or you need to just let it go, quit the angst and be happy with however things shake out with him or someone better!
Thanks so much Tracy. How do I let him know his limits. I feel I would be too forward if I call him out to discuss privately. He stood me up once. Once his female friend knows we are together, she starts the calls. I called him out on it once and all he could do was ask me what to do. Should I be the one telling him how to act? Once he pisses me off and I ignore him, he starts pleading with me. He wants me to be friends with his female friend which I’m nt interested in. Some male friends often ask me if I’m sure he likes me. Of late we haven’t being communicating so I don’t feel the need to contact him on anything being that we are not yet in a relationship but he’s pulling me into a triangle I don’t want.
I’d say that if things move forward then you have to have him get his friend to back off. but if he’s asking you how to behave then you need to ask him what his intentions are with you and respond accordingly. I think you have the proper terminology when the subject comes up about pulling you into a triangle. Just be clear and set the relationship up for success when it’s time. But you do need to make sure he’s treating you how you want to be treated now which sounds like you’re not. That’s not body language, that’s just my impression. If you think he’ll come around and change then stick with it. But if you think you’re gonna get more of the same then move on. Why waste your time?
There is this kid in my grade that like always sits near me. For example, him and his friend switched to sitting behind my friend and I in one of my classes, and when we make eye contact, he stares into my eyes until I turn away. I always ketch him looking at me, but then he looks away. When he sits behind me, the majority of the time his legs are open and pointed towards me so Im not sure if that would mean anything. We never really talk, but if we do, its more like i will say something and he will comment or he will ask me a question. The thing is, when I see him in the hallway he acts all cool and doesn’t really make eye contact with me. We don’t talk to each other out of school, so I don’t really know if he likes me or not. I need answers! lol
I’d say he’s interested but not ready to move forward. My gut is telling me for you to not put too much energy into this potential relationship. If he comes your way then great. Always be friendly,kind, open and even alluring. But just let it go and let him make the first move.
Thank you! Also what does it mean if he like copies your actions?
Kind of depends of it’s natural. It could be that he’s really unconsciously tuning in to you.
i meet this guy at church and he always stares at me for a few seconds and I really like him but idk if he does he stands near me with his friends and walks but me a lot and sits at the other end of the table of me does Be like me? My mom said to confront him and ask for his number but I want to know if he likes me first because I don’t want to embarrass myself?
Guys always stare at things they like! But I’d hold off on giving him your number. Your job is to attract him in. If he’s not coming to you he’s not ready just yet. The same way you’re wanting to know if he likes you, he’s wanting to know if you like him! So go ahead and be flirty. Give him the green light, but let him make the first move.
i met this boy at church but we don’t know each other but he always looks at me. He always try’s to sit near me but like across the table so he can look at me and he walks by me and I like him but I want to know if he likes me do you think he does
Sounds like he does!!
Hi Tracy. I have a crush in this guy. He stares at me from far behind and tries to walk by me. He never smiles but he never looks away when I catch him gazing at me. But the moment I go close to him he starts feeling uneasy and he does not look into my eyes and tries to stare at something else. My intuitions say he likes me a lot but I am confused with his behaviour when I am close to him. His behaviour is making me want him and talk to him even more. I have tried talking to him but I am in a dilemma. Should I forget and move on or should I give it one more chance?
Your intuition is right but he’s not quite confident enough in himself to take action on his feelings. I would back off a bit and let him come to you. Making many moves before he’s ready will certainly end in failure. SO keep your eye on him and hold open the idea of you two hitting it off, but don’t be afraid to look for other guys, too!
Hello ma’am I wanted to know about
something. I am actually confused about this guy. Does he seriously like me? Because Ma’am he usually gives me the eye contact and when I came to know he would turn his head away. But for some days he has started looking directly into my eyes give me the longest eye contact he could give yet after that he didnt even come and acted like i dont exist.
Sounds like he likes you but he’s just scared to do anything about it!
Hi Traci! Same guy: I don’t get it. If he has been showing signs that he likes me like: staring a lot,blushing a few times, smiling a few, saying my name a bunch,avoided(meaning turned around very quickly all scared) at me once when I looked at him, pretty much near/around me when he can,looks from far away,small preening with his hair,blushes when I smiled at him,and overhearing his sis& friend talk when she says ,”that’s the girl my bro likes.” …….then why is he not straight forward with me yet? WILL he EVER come around to tell me? (Side note): he has asked out girls in the past straight up b4,BUT they turned him down. I get that he doesn’t want to face rejection, well,neither do I. I’m just stuck here. Help! Thanks Traci. 🙂
Ok you’re right on track with all of his signs. He’s just terrified. I don’t know if he’ll ever come around for sure. now is the time that you’ve got to be extra alluring but not direct. Your job is to attract him in. So make sure you’re dressing nice, have open body language and most importantly relax. Here’s the thing if he doesn’t come around, you don’t want him!! It’s ok to keep your eyes peeled for other guys, too. Too much focus on him can run him off.
thats what happend with me at college he stares show up acts like bippo clown when i am around whenever i pass by with one of my friends and we both are talking he seems interested in what im saying then i took a step and text him on whatsapp after that whenever he sees me just disappears so i talk to him face to face and that day he didnt disappear he stayed some then he left then i left after that day my friends told me that he came back to college and looked for something then left what means all that???
He’s just not ready to act on his feelings!! Quit stressing, Just keep being you and let him come around.
HI Traci (:
I saw my crush, when we first met and I was going home around 11pm he saw me and he just stood in the street staring directly at me. And Saturday, as soon as he came out side of his friend’s house with my step brother he just kept staring he didn’t blink. Him and I were staying still and I knew he asked his friend “does she like me?” because i was reading his lips, he didn’t take his eyes off me. His friend said ” I think she likes you”, it was clear because i was sitting in the back of the car and they were straight in front of me. I don’t know I scare him or he hates me or if he’s somewhat crazy..because we don’t talk since we aren’t friends.
This one is a challenge. He’s either trying trying to figure out if he likes you or he does like you. Guys don’t look for long at things they don’t like! Seems like you might want to make yourself more available and chat him up. Give him a chance to like you!
Hi Tracy,
Sorry for lengthy explanation! Imet this guy at a meeting he was chairing and he was very kind to me asking lots of questions about me and somehow he stated that he was single as opposed to his peers; he found out I just started to go to his church and said ‘we will see each other often at church then’.
It’s a small church about 20 people attend do there is lots of room available. He always come late and sits around me (but never on the same pew so far) I feel observed but never caught him staring. I see that he mimics several behaviors of mine (like nodding to sermon, bowing out of the entire parish we are now the only 2 doing these).
But then when we shake hands for church service, he gives me a distant look (dark pupils even though he has clears eyes so not sure if this is a dilated pupil or not). He is very pleasant while shaking hands with the other members. This distant attitude is reserved just for me…
Shakes hands like a dead wet fish, he goes out of his way to make sure I can’t connect with him. But always sits close by, puts his face in his hands most of the service looks side to side almost like he is checking to see if I am looking at him but never stares at me… What does this mean?
I’d say he’s showing all the signs of being into you, he’s just shy!! So be open and welcoming, chatty and available but be careful about being too forward and asking him out. He’s gotta be ready. So let him do the asking out.
Struggling to come to a clear conclusion on what I was feeling from a very handsome fellow I had met. He was at the office for a few weeks a day here and there, didn’t really pay him no attention until something in him caught my eye. Can’t pinpoint what it was but all of a sudden I was very excited around him and would smile intensely whenever I would see him. Last week as I was leaving work I was in my car and turned to look and saw him in his car leaving the parking lot, he leaned forward and waved at me. Naturally I was so shocked and of course waved back, this left me giddy as I didn’t realize he saw which vehicle I jumped in 😀 So then today when we were going over some things in order for him to finish his job there, I was super nervous and it seemed he was somewhat nervous also! I was kinda shaky and clamming for words and perhaps my nervousness rubbed off on him because he seemed to stammer for a way to talk to me also. He asked some silly questions and if I remember right he may have even repeated himself a bit. Throughout the day when we crossed paths the both of us would just have big smiles. When we were sitting together I did take note of his body language, he was sitting to left of me and when I turned toward him he was kind of leaned back in the chair, his arms were relaxed back on the arms; although his torso/legs weren’t completely facing me he did seem somewhat open. I’m racking my mind here trying to decide whether I’m reading more into this than needed but at the same time I’m hoping I wasn’t, I am hoping I may have sparked his interest but clouds of doubt surround me. I’m sure today was his last day there but have hopes to see him again! Today he arrived early by about one hour and stayed a bit late talking with a co-worker which of course in hindsight made me wonder…sometimes I’m so clueless! What do you think? What can I do if anything?
I think he’s into you. Sounds like it wouldn’t hurt to ask if he wanted to have a cup of coffee with you. I think the bummer of this situation would be if neither of you tried to make even a little move and let it go.
Well it seems I possibly read him wrong………or he could either be attached or just really shy, not too sure here! I have since seen him 2x (work related) and on our last encounter he came to me before he left and clasped my hand inside both of his, looked right at me with a nice smile and told me it was “very nice to see me!” ( He didn’t double clasped anyone else’s hand) so 2 days later I emailed him and we sent emails back and forth that day and I ended up asking him for coffee. He said coffee was a great idea and asked me to name a time and place and we’d try meet up….so I replied with giving him my cell # and told him to keep in touch and to text me, I didn’t name a time or place. He replied that he would text back soon. Its been over a week now since this email and no text. Not sure what to think! The nature of his job I know he’d be quite busy but just not sure if I should just leave it or not! Hmmm…. Can I get a email reply on this? Instead of it being posted?
Here’s the thing. Dont’ go chasing after guys. The system just doesn’t work that way. Your job is to attract him to you. You need someone who’s going to treat you right not be a tease. Yes, he showed signs of liking you. And he’s also showing you the signs that he’s not ready to do anything about it! So don’t push him just be receptive when he comes around and keep your eyes peeled for guys that will treat you right.
I am a married woman. My husband owns a business of classes. There is this guy, a teacher at my institute who is 9 years younger to me. I find Devine relation with him. He is like a friend to me. We work together mostly. Lately I have defamed for my closeness to him. After which I realized I am quite different towards him and he is too. Then I started observing,. He stares at me for long, he tries to show his closeness with me when in group but stay normal when we two are alone. Once I accidentally wrote his and my name on paper and he was extremely happy. He notices small things like Bindi, Kajal, nailpaint etc. Can you tell me what it is ?
Sounds like you two are quite into each other. That’s gonna happen from time to time even if you’re married! You two may just want what you can’t have.
Hi. Since I’m a male my situation is in reverse. I have a female coworker who would always grab me by the waist or tap me on the shoulder (Im not intrested in her), however, this other girl I do like would always ask me about it as if she thought something was going on but I explained nothing was going on. She later told me that girl ain’t worth it. Well, little by little my feelings for the girl I like grew so I panicked and began to avoid her but she noticed something was awry and asked me a couple of times during the weeks about it. Finally, one day I confessed I liked her and asked her out (didn’t answer me) but she thought I was going to tell her about another girl. After that day she would stare more with a smile or just walk by me giggling, or simply look and glance away. She also flirts with just about every other guy except me (sometimes turning to see my reaction) . I’ve continued acting normal keeping it professional but the past couple of days I started flirting with her and giving her attention, she starting looking at me more again but when I get close and put my hand or arm on her shoulder shy turns shy, looks away, or if she’s making eye contact at first her eyelids flap like a butterly’s wings and looks away. Her touchy feely-flirty behavior with other males (all either married or with a girlfriends), lets them hold her hand but not me (even allowing a younger male who has a girlfriend and has slept with other coworkers, grab her waist or rub her stomach) has been a major turn off and an indication to me she’s not interested. She’s perfectly comfortable around other males who are in a relatioship (touching and flirting) but not so around me who is single. I have moved on. I’m I correct in my assessment?
Thank you
I’d say that she’s comfortable flirting with unavailable men because there’s no fear of rejection with them. Nothing can happen. It’s all set. With you there’s significant risk. Sounds like she’s in a similar spot with panicking around someone she likes and behaving in ways that don’t match her true feelings. I don’t think that you deserve someone who is going to play games with you–that’s all you’ll get in the future. So even though you know she’s interested for you to move on is probably smart.
Traci, I appreciate your work and the prompt response. Again, thank you.
Hi ummm well I need some help because thiers this full Mexican guy in my summer school class room for math in high school and well I go to one academy and he goes to another so anyways I sat next to a friend and I saw him staring at me and I wished he would talk to me or sit next to me so then one day my teacher said oh I’m going to switch your seat and so I got to sit next to hi. Then the first time I sat their I was super shy and then the next day we spoke but he asked me if I knew how to speak Spanish and I said yes so then I started making jokes in Spanish and we would have a good time and he would face me respectfully and now this girl gets in the way and trys talking to him when she didn’t even like talking to him but when I started she began and if they talk to one another I get gelious and I am not the gelious type so what’s going on with that and to day she asked him to tap me in the sholders so she can ask me for a mirror and when he was going to tap me he did it very slowly and soft and gental like hardly even touching me I didn’t know how to feel like is he disgusted by me or does he like me and he’s super shy because the first time we meet he said I had a beautiful name and also I thru a paper at my guy friend when the teacher was not looking and I started to laugh and I guess my crush saw and he started to laugh and I guess he was trying to talk to me but I guess he was second thinking it or did not want to I terupt me and so he talk to that girl which made me super mad but then I started laughing with my guy friend then he would look at me every time I would laugh then sometimes he would laugh back and so today is his birthday and so I told him happy birthday he’s 17 and I’m a turn 15 and well my question is does he like me and how can I get him to notice me I really want to go out with him he’s so my type and he’s super sweet please help me out please
I’m going to give him a definite maybe. Sounds like someone else is into him as well! I think the best way to attract any guy is to be sweet and nice, just like it seems you’ve been being. No guy is going to ask you out until he’s ready, but you can attract him in by just being yourself.
Hi Traci,
I need some advice on a guy. We have been getting to know each other for about 6 months now. I have been to his place and he has been to mine. We are getting really comfortable around each other; however, lately I have been feeling like we are not as close anymore. He has two roommates who have live in girlfriends and we all get along, but I feel that there is something he has told his roommates that I don’t know. He went out of town on business a few weeks ago and let me his key to stay at his place. My friends say that’s a good sign, but I don’t feel the same. He coops me dinner and we generally have a good time together, but I have tried to ask him more serious questions about us and he goes silent. I feel like I am pushing to hard and now he will never ask to commit to me because of it. Am I over thinking or is he just not that into me anymore? Hope to hear from you soon!
Thanks,
Ashley
Sounds like things are pretty good overall. Yes, that’s a good sign he gave you the key. Guys don’t often like to go to the level of verbal intimacy that girls like and need to take things to the next level. My thought is that you’re really clear with him to tell him that you need to hear it from him. Actions are good but words with a sincere and loving tone are what you need to make the relationship deeper and keep you enrolled. If you don’t tell him, you certainly won’t get the results you’re looking for. Then he’s at choice as to what he wants to do to keep you. I write about this much more extensively in my new Persuasion Point book. You can find it on Amazon if you’re interested.
Thank you so much for your insight. I will definitely take the steps to approach him in a gentle way. I will also look for your book on Amazon. Thanks again Traci.
This is a tough one. I think we both know he likes you. He’s just not admitting it to himself. You don’t need to run but you shouldn’t wait around for him because he may never turn his affection on for you. Continue to be your nice, kind self but keep looking for someone who’s ready. He’s not
Hi Traci!
Need your advice, pls. Met a man through work and after several times.of running into him, my colleague pointed out how he was acting around me. He would lock eyes with me as he walked out the door, come straight over to me and we would chat for ages. I realise he WAS flirting with me and I began liking him and flirting back. He would raise his eyebrows and smile every time he saw me and lock eyes the entire time I would be talking to him, dilating pupils, raised eyebrows, if he mentioned women he knew he would quickly add that they were married or he wasnt interested in them. As time went by, I liked him more and more so I asked if he wanted to grab a coffee, to which he energetically said that would be great. Due to busy schedules the coffee didn’t happen. I asked a couple times but them just backed off, thinking I had mis read him.
Every time we saw each other he would either lock eyes with me and walk by, holding eye contact or would chat with me, the entire time staring into my eyes and his eyebrows flashing at me, giving me shy smiles. He is a pretty quiet, laid back guy, not like that with anyone else that I have ever seen. No hesitation he is NOT a ladies man or a flirt. Charming with people but not like this. After a couple months, I threw caution to the wind and told him I was attracted to him, to which he awkwardly said he didnt share my feelings. I was Humiliated and crushed. How did I read that so wrong? I thanked him for being honest but mentioned that he was flirting with me, which is why i noticed him and flirted back. I promised him I would never mention it again and of course would always be polite towards him because of work encounters.
So I have stayed away from him for my own self preservation. I was feeling pretty hurt. First time I saw him, about 3 weeks later, I was expecting him to be cool, suave, polite and distant. Nope. He instantly blushed and got so nervous and embarrassed, he babbled on like a dorky teenager (he is decades passed being a teenager! Lol). I was polite but kept the conversation to a minimum and left. (I was confused and sort of embarrassed for him cuz he looked like he knew he was being crazy but couldn’t help himself.) As i walked passed him to leave, he locked eyes with me again, with a serious look on his face.
Every time I have seen him, it’s still a little awkward but he is staring into my eyes and his pupils dilate like crazy. He babbles on like a lunatic. Totally out of character. He is normally very calm and business-like but the second he gets around me, he is tripping and talking about random stuff.
So…. what do I do? I do really like him still but can’t let him close to hurt me again. Why would he keep flirting with me if he isn’t interested? Again… he does not act that way to anyone else at work and those close to me see him do it and comment on how much he obviously likes me.
I have backed off and I won’t ever mention it to him again… but what is he telling me? Help. Do I run far away or hang around a bit more….
Suz
Im 16 and the guy i like is 18 and about to go to college. We’ve both been working at the same camp for the last to years and I’ve only said one sentenece to him. Both of us are very shy. Whenever were jot near eachother were talkative but when were bear eachother we dont talk at all. Its not that I dont want to, im just very introverted, especially with talking to guys. I catch him looking at me and he just looks away but I dont know if I should try and have a relationship with him. If later on he says he doesnt like me, then it’ll be very awkward at camp between us
You are gonna have to talk to him sooner or later! Might as well start now and at least try to be friends. Let anything beyond that just develop naturally.
I think what you have here is a classic case of making the first move and scaring him off. Guys like to chase and feel I’m control. Some guys just can’t handle strong and assertive women! So I’d suggest just being yourself and flirting along with him. But let go of any attachment to the situation’s outcome. Keep looking for other guys and go out when they ask. Maybe one day he’ll wise up and admit his feelings to himself and you. Maybe he won’t and that’s his loss.
Hi Traci,
I need your advice, please. Met a man though work and after several times of running into him, my colleague pointed out how he was acting around me. Locking eyes, smirking, he would stand and talk to me for ages while we talked about everything under the sun. I hadn’t really noticed so I started paying attention. Yup, sure was, so I started to make sure I was flirting back. I would see him every few weeks and he would raise his eyebrows, lock eyes with me, dilating pupils, shy smirk. If he mentioned any woman he was going to see on the weekend, he would quickly add that she was married or was someone he was totally not interested in “that way.” As time went by, I asked him if he wanted to go grab a coffee to which he emphatically said yes to. We both have really busy schedules and it kept getting put off more and more so I decided to just leave it, in case I wasn’t reading him correctly.
Every time we would see each other, the flirting was clear as day. We totally lock eyes the entire time we are around each other and I felt a really strong connection from this. He is a pretty quiet, laid back guy, no hesitation that he is NOT a ladies man or a flirt. Just charming to everyone, but not flirty. Not like he is with me. A few weeks ago, I threw caution to the wind and told him I was attracted to him. He grew immediately awkward and said he was super flattered, thinks I am terrific but he didn’t share my feelings but he wanted to make sure we continued having a great work relationship. Whaaatt?? I was so humiliated and crushed. How did I misread that so badly? I thanked him for being honest, but mentioned that the only reason I had been flirting with him was because HE HAD been flirting with me all this time. He didn’t respond, just said ok. (On the side, we don’t work directly with each other … different office. and dating is a very common thing in our company. As long as it is kept professional, no one cares. )
So I have stayed away from him for my own self preservation. I was and am feeling pretty hurt about it. About 3 weeks later, I saw him for the first time. I was fully expecting him to be polite but very reserved and cool with me. Nope. He was so awkward and embarrassed, babbling on and tripping over every word. Acted like a dorky teenager (and he is decades passed being a teenager!) I was really confused… and sort of embarrassed for him because he looked like he knew he was acting like a crazy guy but couldn’t help himself. I was polite, kept the encounter to a minimum, and when I went to leave, he locked eyes with me and had a serious look on his face.
Every time I have seen him since, it is a little awkward but it’s much better. But he is still flirting… locking eyes, body language, pupils dilating, babbles on like a lunatic. Totally and completely out of character for this guy. He is normally very calm and held together, very business-like. The girls at the office with me giggle cuz they say it is so obvious but… why would he say he wasn’t interested in me and act like this. Especially after I confronted him about flirting with me. If he wasn’t interested, and knew I was, wouldn’t he just keep it short and simple with me so as not to give me the wrong impression. He came into my office today and was discussing work stuff with the girl beside me, all the while, he kept looking over at me, body facing at me lots, toes pointing inwards and shifting (obviously feeling a bit awkward with me being there), was looking at me from the side of his eyes (of course, I was looking, I admit it). He kept making silly little jokes so only I could hear them and then would look over at me and smile, staring into my eyes. When he left, the girl commented on how odd he was acting and joked that maybe he has a thing for me. I just laughed. It was just a silly passing comment from her, which meant nothing.
So.. what do I do? I do really like him still but am terrified to let him close cuz I don’t want to be rejected again or hurt. Again, he does not act like that around anyone I have ever seen … and I encounter him at 3 offices with our company and there are many women around him. This is all reserved for me.
I have backed off. I am polite and friendly, but don’t stick around for chats. But.. what is he telling me by acting like this. Should I run far away or hang around a bit? Can you suggest how to act around him cut it’s so hard not to flirt back but I don’t want to be doing that because he made it clear he didn’t like me like that. But then, he acts…..
As you can see… I really need some advice.
Thanks – Suz.
Hi Traci many greetings from kenya.
There’s this guy at work who keeps staring at me at work . It’s almost 2 months now.all we do is stare at each other an its becoming abit un comfortable now.
Two weeks ago I sent him a linked in request thinking he would at least say something. he ignored my request until a week later when I was moved to a closer sitting position to him at work.
I dont know wat to do.ive tried to ignore him but cant stop thinking of him.i wonder if he thinks of me too.
I forgot to mention that he is of a different race.he is spanish and im african….
Hi Traci,
I would need your advice. I am married but for the first I have a crush to my co-worker. I just started working and I met this guy and never thought that I will like him. During the first 2 weeks of my job, we are sitting across each other and I can’t avoid to see him or stare sometimes and he does the same thing. But then we moved to another office so the sitting arrangement is different. He is on the other corner and I no longer see him but I’m close to the door so he will see me if he goes to the washroom or grab lunch. The first day we moved to the other office even if he was sitting far from me he kept looking at me but when I look at him, he avoids looking at me. Before he used to throw his trash to the garbage next to me and find a way to stand next to me while talking to a colleague and also stare at me to check if I am looking at him. I do look at him a lot too. I don’t know why I like him but it is a weird feeling. I never felt this way before. I know he has a girlfriend but I am not sure.
I did try to talk to him so this feeling I have will turn into friendship as I don’t want to feel this way. I know it is wrong.
Every time I approach him or just ask about his day, the conversation dies. He doesn’t engage with longer conversation. He doesn’t ask me back just once like how am I. But I do send him a chat and ask him about any plans on the weekend or just saying how the day goes but he doesn’t care to answer but if I ask about work, he will answer me in a short conversation.
The only time he answer me is when we talk about music. He was very responsive and sent me emoticons.
I don’t understand his personality if he’s a private person or he just doesn’t like me.
He looks shy but he talks to my colleague but all male.
I really want to build rapport with him but I find it hard to approach him without thinking about my feeling.
But I want to get to know him.
Thank you
I think he’s scared of his feelings. Don’t push him. He’ll have to come around on his own. You have to accept that he may never come around and that’s going to have to be ok. SO don’t wait for him and keep looking for other guys. If he does decide to make a move it will be that much sweeter.
While reading this, there are certain parts that i am really convinced that he likes me too (Gosh!!! hopefully that wouldn’t be too much of me to think that way 😀 ). His my office mate and has a higher position than me. We never had a chance to talk to each other either work or personal related matters. But i don’t know why i have this feelings that he also notice me, i mean not really sure if he knows i like him. But yeah, whenever we pass each other at the hallway i really did try to smile but he quickly looks down and smile (he’s smiling at the floor. LOL). And always having this elevator moments, while in the elevator when everybody is facing at the door, he’s always facing at my direction. And lastly when i saw him having that cigarette in his hand, when he saw me staring at it he immediately hide it at his back. Yet again i never had a chance to talk to him.
Thank you Traci for your advice. I tried not to look at him when he stares at me as my feeling is getting stronger. It seems like he is also trying to avoid staring at me. Last week, we are out focus. We end up not doing well with our work.
I will try to control myself since it is hard to deal with this kind of feeling. I know that he is not a family guy but for some reason, I adore him so much. He’s not even handsome. Do you think this is just infatuation or love?
I’d have to say that it’s a big crush you have. I think love is something that takes 2 people’s involvement!! You may want to consider it awesome that you can feel that way about someone. Now go out and create it with someone who wants to play ball!
Well this is kinda awkward but I have a huge crush on my coworker and he knows it too I’m 36 and he’s 31 and seems shy, we’re both terribly shy! Anyway, I’m no stranger to crushing on some guy so I know when it’s a total waste of time or perhaps there might be something brewing, but in this case I feel like there’s definitely something of a connection even though we hardly speak to each other just a lot of checking each other out I suppose. So according to this article if my crush mimics me I should consider the possibility he might like me back…. hmmm it almost seems child like how he repeats randomly some of the things I say when I’m chatting with other coworkers for which I pause for a moment wondering… OK I’m not even talking to u and you’re totally quiet like all the time around me…idk it’s kinda cute but we’re in our dirty 30’s!!! Cmon grab my ass!…. oh and when Doo Wop(that thing) by Lauryn Hill was on the radio I was humming it and bopping to it and after that song ended another hip hop song was playing and he just started whistling and humming that song… oh I know he likes me lol
Yep sounds like he’s into you. Just be open and let him come around. Making the first move with shy guys is always a disaster.
I think you are right. It’s not intentional. I tried staying away but I can’t since we work together. Just recently, he was a little flirty the way he talked to me and was more comfortable talking to me. I feel the same way. I really tried hard to make it more comfortable for both of us since we have no choice as we will be working together for more projects.
I still feel that he is always watching me if I look at him. I pretend that I don’t see him so he will not think too much of it.
Is being more friendly the best way I can do to be able to surpass the gap between me and him?
I always felt that he likes me every time we look at each other no matter how I convince myself that maybe I was over thinking the situation.
Thank you for your response Traci.
Hi, I have a problem with this guy that I’ve known for 3 years, but I haven’t talked to him since 8th grade. He used to tease me all the time by saying stupid things that made me laugh, we would have marker wars and we could never shut up in class, he would always say my name to get my attention but when I’d look he’d act like he didn’t say a thing. What made it special is he would treat me so nice when I wasn’t popular but he was, and let’s face it I was trash back in 8th grade. That year he had asked me for my number and if I was gonna be at the dances. But at the end of the year he told me it was his last day and I just brushed it off like okay have a nice life, bc I really didn’t know I had a crush on him at all, so we get into 9th grade, and that summer I had realized I had a huge crush on him, but I was always of that mind set like don’t let him know bc then I’ll be made fun of so when he tried to talk to me I would ignore him, it happened twice and then I let it go. But he would always stare at me especially as I walked by, and then 10th grade came along, we still didn’t have any classes together but we did have a locker near each other and every time he’d show up at his locker I’d look up and see him staring, like full on. So this went on for a little while, especially when he was with his friends, I could feel him staring. I know, he knew I liked him that year bc his friend told him. But I had a crush on his friend at the time and he was doing advances towards me, anyways, one day I was passing him and his sister after school and they both looked at me and then he kinda pointed and said that’s her, and then me and him were staring at each other in the eye for a good 2 minutes as we passed each other, and then I smiled at him. Then this year, we got a class together, and it was tense,but then the first couple days he would full out stare at me, and one day he looked at me from across the room and it was a look of the old 8th grade guy I had a crush on, bc I don’t know what it is but something happened to this guy, my friends say popularity, it’s weird bc I still see little pieces of him, but then other times I’m like crap. Well anyways I ended up getting the balls to walk to his locker with him, minding that I haven’t talked to him in 3 years, and what’s weird is he was really cool ab it, like I asked him questions told him I liked what he was doing with his hair, I made stupid jokes he chuckled at everyone of them, he wouldn’t really look me in the eye, but I was supposed to be on the other side of the school and he even said ‘you have science..and you’re going to be late.” And I go yeah and then I kept apologizing for being awkward and saying I really don’t know why I’m stalking u to ur locker, he chuckled and said it was fine. The next day he walks into class and he is so much more talkative to the people around him, his face is red. But then after class we didn’t walk together, so I took it like he didn’t like me, so I just had a bad day. I went to talk to his old basketball team member, and when I told him who I was talking about he was like no, don’t date him he’s rude, he talks bad about people, he’s a jerk. And I was shocked bc the guy never trash talks anyone, and so the guy tells me everything the guy I got a crush on said to him, and I got sick, I was like no, no that’s not him at all, what happened. So I told the guy what he had been doing to me like staring, being nice to me, and the guy goes, I’m really surprised, like wow. So I don’t know if I have just been on this guy’s mind, and I’ve read articles where if someone’s had a crush on u once they may still have feelings for you, or its just because I’m a girl and that’s why that was his way of rejecting me nicely. I just need some help bc nobody even gets this guy’s motives anymore. Thank you
Sounds like he’s into you but just won’t let himself commit!! Never hang around for someone acting like a jerk. You deserve way more. When he can treat you like a lady he’ll come around and not leave you questioning.
Hi Traci!
I’m in desperate need of advice. There’s this guy I’ve known since we were little kids and now that we’re older, I’ve seen him act differently around me. I’m close with his brothers and sisters but when it comes to him, I find it hard to start conversations with him. I thought it would be easy since we’ve known each other for so long, but he’s that shy type, I didn’t realize it would be harder to talk to him. What should I do?
THANKYOU!
Ok so if you want to start a conversation, have a topic that you know he’ll have something to say on. Maybe a recent event you were both at, something with his family or one of his hobbies. Start there. The key is to not try too hard because you’ll chase him off! All you can do is be prepared and let things develop naturally.
Ok so there’s this guy that I just met in school and I really like him but his like shy I think. I read online that when a shy guy likes you he’ll do favors for you so I tried it out with something simple. I dropped my pencil like 5 times and he picked it up right away all 5 times an my friend says tht he kinda looked at me like really quickly when he picked it up. But i don’t know or like I noticed he fidgets but when his in class he’ll do a lot if it like touching his hair, shaking his leg and when I asked him about it he like stopped but only a little bit like I don’t know what’s going on. The exact thing is happening with this guy that goes to my church like I’ll ask him to stay afterwards and he never does and when I’m talking to him he never looks directly at me or he’ll give me short answers ( the guy in my class gives me short answers too). My friend says that she’s seen him looking at me a lot but whenever I look at him his never looking at me. I feel like maybe I’m the one who is making up this stuff in my head I don’t know what to do?
Neither of these guys are ready to commit to anything. I can’t see the shaking his leg that you’re mentioning but that’s a sign he wants to get out there. My suggestion is to just ignore these two jokers. The guys that like you will then feel like they can come around and give you some attention.
OK I’m in a confused place. I work with a man who will speak to me freely only when no one is around 1st thing before anyone gets in and more importantly always says good morning, Melissa. Never skips a day and always says my name! I forget to return the name mention favor only when I remember because 100 people will pass by saying good morning but never a name mention. I love when im addressed by name for some reason which hes good at and probably why he’s tempting. I’m in a main path of traffic a lot of attention as well all day long in which he uses as well. I always look up when I’m bored and look at who’s passing by. (Bad habit) I had a dream about him recently that has me definitely paying attention to him more n more. But it bothers me that its only when no one is around. Maybe for the best to avoid my nosy co-workers too. But I don’t exist when my group is staffed. If I look up and its him, hes walking slowly his normal pace i suppose, he doesn’t make eye contact or is previously looking down, but will say hello to the guy behind me and as well when he leaves for the day maybe me too on a Friday here n there. Just yesterday he caught a glimpse of me coming into cafeteria and started kicking his feet slightly hands in pockets. I take that as yet another dismiss and don’t talk to me. So I actually just left the area. Leaving bothered . I don’t know what to make of it. And should I just ignore him back and cut the am chat back to just good morning? He’s very quiet and keeps to himself so I’ll do what’s best for both. But I’m going to have to let this thing lapse if I continue to be dismissed not worth my overthinking. After all its become a morning tease. I have always second guessed Dating at work. Its taboo in my eyes but I’m getting older and the pickins are slim. Just don’t know what’s up at all. Distracted for sure
First, I know it’s easy to get impatient when looking for love. You might want to consider letting that go. Desperation is not a powerful place to be to attract the right guy! Second, you need a guy who is going to treat you how you need to be treated. This guy can’t get his act together enough to do it. So be kind but don’t put lots of meaning on the situation. And listen to your gut. If you think dating at work is wrong then once you actually start doing it, that belief will sabotage things guaranteed. That’s my 2 cents.
There’s a guy that I think is into me but I’m unsure and it’s a bit strange because he’s in a committed relationship and so am I. I sometimes catch him looking at me from a distance and close up then he will quickly turn his head when I look back at him when we talk to each other it’s always very awkward but he talks to other people just fine he does go out of his way even though it’s awkward he always finds something to say to me and he always hugs me and invites me to events my gut tells me there may be a bit of an attraction there somewhere but I’m not sure and I really don’t want to even ask because we are both in committed relationships and have friends in common I’m just curious to know is all and would like some tips to break the awkwardness between us because like I said we are both in committed relationships and have friends in common
Sounds like there’s a little attraction there. It can be weird since you’re both committed, but you could look at it as kind of nice to have caught someone’s eye. To bring it up will do one of 2 things: end it or make it weirder. What if you just decided to have a little fun and enjoy the attention? I’d never suggest doing anything more than that. No need to mess up your relationship!
Hi!
So, I am so lost. I really really like this boy, but I am not sure he likes me back. I have never had any classes with him in school before this school year, and now I do. I have always thought he was cute, but I really am attracted to him now. He is very shy and awkward as well. I text him, but it is always me initiating me the coversation. When the conversation starts, he replies fairly quickly, but, again, it is always me initiating. He never can make eye contact with me in school (again, awkward and shy.) For example, today, I smiled at him before class…he half smiled, and then walked faster. I don’t understand? How can I talk to him and start something more with him, if he won’t even give me the opportunity? Does he do this because I scared him off? I really do like him, but I never get the opportunity because of his awkwardness. Help please!!!
Exactly. He won’t give you the chance. You need someone who’s going to give you the chance!! Why waste your time with someone who won’t? As a general rule, guys need to be ready enough for you that they make the first move. Be nice and friendly but don’t read too much into what he does until he can stand up, be a confident man and treat you like a lady.
But, back to his body language…do I make him nervous? And is that why he is so awkward? I mean, I text him, and he texts me back, but in school I he is very awkward. How can I get out of that awkward phase?
yes, you make him nervous! Lots of times these guys have a fear of rejection and are super insecure. That’s why he acts the way he does in person. It’s easier to formulate his thoughts over a text. So he’s got his eye on you. You’ve just got to be open and he’ll either think you’re worth his emotional risk or not. But don’t get stuck on him. He may never come around.
He does certain stuff like that, but he’s married. Why does he do this, having a woman at home; is what I don’t get.
I am not a boy toy nor a homewrecker.
Hell, I’m still a virgin, never had a boyfriend, nor a first kiss.
He wants a open relationship, he can find someone else.
good for you on all fronts. You need a guy who’s actually available, not just pretending.
Thank you for your earlier advice, it made me realize I should step back a bit. But now I’m confused, it’s like he won’t look at me, but as soon as he notices I’m near his face will stay red, I mean sometimes to the point his eyebrows disappear, and when I told a joke in class everyone else was laughing, but it was like he was purposefully trying not to laugh. But I think he’s talking to his group of friends that are near him bc they will do this thing of staring over at me. But what was really weird is that on one of the days he would look over at me and try to get my attention, and I wouldn’t look at him, it’s like he’s trying to either try so hard at hiding his feelings, or he’s just repulsed by me but I mean why does it feel so tense every time we are near each other, bc he must be feeling something bc why would his face stay red every time he sees me, and why does he go from purposefully pretending I don’t exist to having days where he’s doing things to try to get my attention?maybe it’s the commitment thing you were talking about, any ideas?
He just doesn’t know what he wants. No need to be a game to him. When the right one comes along he’ll pursue you and treat you like a lady.
I’m currently a contractor for a large company – since I started about eight months ago the department I work for has undergone some major restructuring. During one of these restructures, I ended up in a cubicle no-man’s land while a big part of my co-workers were moved to a different area. So I was quite literally sitting myself in a cubicle partially hidden behind a fire hose. It was during this time I that I became hyper-aware of any person who would walk past my desk. Since I was the only person in the area it was instinct to think they were coming to speak with me – which was actually rarely the case. I became particularly aware of an attractive man who walked past several times on any given day. It didn’t take long for the attraction to set in, or the shock when I was informed that he was the VP of the department! I knew who the VP was by name only as no one had ever introduced me to him.
So now, here I am with a hard core, embarrassingly teenage – and I’m in my late 30’s, infatuation with a co-worker who was also my boss in a manner of speaking. Once I realized how hard I was crushing I found myself trying to not to act like I was aware every time he walked past my desk, nor could I even attempt to make eye contact. I’m not good at hiding my emotions and felt like if he looked at my face he would see right through me. Not to mention, Even though I don’t work with him directly. He. Is. My. Boss. Dating a coworker was not something that’s ever previously been on my radar, but I’m sure there was a policy on it somewhere. I later found out that said policy is at best ‘loosy-goosy’ and that there are several married couples working there.
As luck would have it, I joined the rest of my team that had been previously moved. it’s was difficult before knowing he was there and not being able to find the courage to do anything about it. It’s absolute torture now, knowing that I could and very rarely seeing him.
Fast forward a few weeks..I crossed paths with him as I was exiting the building and he was entering. I saw him first, and he looked up quickly. I watched his entire face light up with a smile and a ‘hi’ when he saw me. I can’t remember the last time someone smiled at me like that. It life was more cartoon-like I would have turned into a puddle on the floor. I instinctively smiled back – with my whole face and didn’t hold back… if nothing else, he may now realize I’m thinking about him when I’m supposed to be working. In my mind the eye contact lasted a little too long, he was close enough that I could smell his cologne, and that was no ordinary smile! I’ll be the first to admit that I am horrible at reading non-verbal cues unless they all but slap me in the face and very good at second guessing myself.
I try to make it a point to go visit my old teammates as often as I can find an excuse for, so i can hopefully get a glimpse of him. I’m still hyper-aware of his presence and he did stick around to hear the end of a work-related conversation I was having with a co-worker even though it didn’t really pertain to him.
That one incredible smile is the only definitive thing I have to go on. All of the desk walk-bys could’ve been simply because it was the quickest way back to his desk, or he drinks a lot of water as he was usually carrying a cup. I’m told he smiles at everyone, and that he’s very quiet.and reserved. I find it hard to rationalize how a shy guy could get to be in that high of a position being shy, but he might just be very good at faking it! One thing is certain, no one seems to know much about him at all.
I know it’s not much to go on, but I’d love to hear your thoughts and any insights you may be able to offer.
Well, you’ve got a situation on your hands, that’s for sure. The problem is that he’s higher up and making any comments could spell disaster for your career or at best make things uncomfortable. So you’ve got to let this go. That doesn’t mean he won’t come around. That means you quit putting any meaning on things. Just be your normal self and let him make any moves. Keep your eye out for other guys. Then the right one who’s willing to show his feelings will come along. You don’t want a guy who’s going to play games and tease you. He’s going to treat you that way thru the relationship and you’re worth more than that. That’s my 2 cents.
Hello, I like this boy and I’m not sure if he likes me or he just wants to be friends with me. I’m in high school and he’s a year older than me. The beginning of the story started when he was put next to me and was my partner for a class for a few weeks. Other than i thought he was cute, I never noticed him. I then started noticing him staring at me and looking away quickly whenever we pass in the hallway or afterschool crossing the same sidewalk. I wanted to talk to him so for a starter, I tapped on his shoulder during in between class break and I asked him if he remembered me and he said “of course” and then said “okay, so what is my name?” And it took him a long time to answer and I had to tell him what my name was. After that I started saying hi to him more passing thorugh the hallway and he started now smiling at me and saying hi. Then on a different day , I exited my class and waited outside our classroom for my friend and he walked out as well and he walked up to me and talked to me. Our conversation was learning about eachother like when our birthdays were, where we hungout afterschool and in lunch, and about math scores. I asked him between the conversation if I could have his phone number but he explained to me that he was having his phone fixed. He admitted he is shy. We were walking and talking for about 5 minutes and we just said goodbye since we reached my destination where my friends were. After that, the weekend went by and now I see him looking at me for a quick glance then look away quickly.
Am I suppose to go up to him first and start the conversation? Or is it that he is losing interest in me? I’m not experienced in any type of relationship.
What exactly is the question?
Sounds like he’s got his eye on you! The great thing is that he’s talkin to you! My suggestion is to just keep chatting him up. He’ll ask you out if he’s really interested. Don’t put all of your eggs in this basket tho. Always be open to the guy who is going to step up and not play games
I’m a really shy person and there this guy who’s really shy to everytime he sees me always smiles and waves and wants wants to sit with a few weeks ago he pulled a chair out for me when I sit he’s really quit I started to speak to him on facebook and he replies back quick.
Hello Traci!
(We’re both in high school but I’m a grade under him. I think he’s 17/18, he hangs by himself aka loner (such a harsh word to say), manages to talk to people in his class but outside of class he closes himself and I’m shy myself)
When I’m with friends he rushes away from me, both of us makes eye contact when when I’m alone he rushes when I’m near him! :c . He avoids me a lot (He used to come around my area a lot during break each day but now he seems to avoid it), he stares at me and looks away when he thinks I’m looking at him. He rushes when I’m near him (example, both of us walking to our class and going the same direction and he rushes, like he’s in a hurry or something) but to others he’s walks normally, sometimes but not always walks where I hang but distant and does small things to stay there. He runs away from situations when he’s people approach him, (male and female) including myself but he never looked at me when I walked closer to him to say hi to him he always looks to the left and the right and then as soon as I got to him he ran off. My friends say hi to him and he says hi or waves to them and I tried waving him (I can’t wave properly I mean I wave weirdly and I put too much pressure in the wave, more like hyper wave? xD), I did it twice. And he never look at my way. My class is near his class an I feel like he looks at me when I walk in (the tingling feeling behind your back or something when you feel someone is looking at you). > . < He's really confusing me!
Much appreciated with all kinds of help! x3
Ok so you gotta know this. When he’s into you and his interest is bigger than his fear of failure, he’ll do something about it. Until then just have fun and enjoy the attention.
so i like this guy, and i have made it very clear i liked him , i even gave him a note saying i liked him , and when he read the note it was 8th period , and my friend saw him blushing hard and smiling a lot , today i gave him another note and it was more descriptive because the first note literally just said ” i like you” , the second one was ” i know things might be weird for your right now because of me but when i said i like liked you i mean it , if you like me back just ask that small question with a big meaning and i’m yours” he my friend gave him the note and she said he was smiling .. but whats confusing is he gives me these awkward smiles when I say hi to him , and he is quiet around me.. i don’t know if this is leading to rejection or if he is just shy and doesn’t know how to tell me he feels the same , please help
sorry for my horrible spelling , and errors, but the first note i gave him yesturday said ” i like like you” and my friend saw him read it in 8th period and he was blushing hard and smiling a lot , and today my friend said he was just smiling when he read the other one .. does this mean rejection because he hasn’t done anything yet.. he’s gives me awkward smiles but is really nice to me and says “hi” every once and awhile instead of a smile .. is he shy or is there a chance he likes me too.. and i have made it very clear to him that i like him , i used a lot of body language , should i tell him verbally on monday or should i just wait for a response and let him think? i
Ok so it’s good that you’ve made your intentions known. The problem is that guys often aren’t ready to take action when you are. Now your only job is to just be sweet and alluring and let him come to you. He has to like you more than the strength of any of his fears. And you don’t want him until he’s there emotionally or it’s certain to not go the way you want.
I know exactly what you are saying, it happened to me and still confused about this middle age man a co worker He suddenly gave me a hug. A next door cubicle noticed him and a gossip spread. Now we both aiding each other. When he sees me walking he said hi but then he turn his face the other way an due stopped smiling. But when I am not looking he looks at me.
Now he spread the news that he had a girl friend and he plans to get marry. And with his friends when they talk with him about him having a girl friend they talk so loud so that I can hear. I am not interested on this guy, I don’t know why his creating a drama.
Well, there’s this guy I like a whole lot. I’m sure he knows… Anywho.
He’s not shy, well he is but he isn’t. He talks to a lot of girls but is shy around me?? What? For a while now I’ve noticed him staring at me across church and such. On field trips. I look at him often sometimes we’ll hold the stares for a couple seconds, sometimes he’ll look away fast. I get butterflies everytime I even hear his name. We talk like never.
Um we kinda talked last year while ice skating. He compliments me on my singing sometimes. But idk. Sometimes I just wanna walk up and compliment him but most of the time I don’t because either my sister is up my butt or other guys are around him.
I don’t know what to do.
Does he like me? Or are the stares just?…
If possible can you email me? My email is poohmatters@gmail.com
Sounds like he’s into you! But he’s just not ready to do anything about it. Making a big move with guys like him can often be a disaster. So just continue to smile and you’ll attract him in when he’s ready
Hi, I am 15 and I like this one boy in my class. He used to sit next to me until the teacher changed our places. He’s at the front and I’m at the back. He is a really shy guy and I rarely see him talk to girls other than me. One day I was feeling so frustrated and then he came to my place and rubbed my back. He said if I need someone to talk to he’ll always be there for me. He also always try to catch my attention on our class group chat. Then I told my guy bestfriend about my feelings and I asked him to not tell anyone about this but eventually my crush knows bout it. He never talk to me anymore after that, we only communicate through social medias. I often caught him staring at me but after that he looks away and I am really confused. Does he like me or no?
Omg he absolutely likes you!! I’d go talk to him more. Let him make the first move just be your sweet self and attract him in.
Hello!
I’m currently in the Junior High, a time where my hormones go ballistic, yup. Anyways, there’s this boy who I really like; extremely more than any of my other ‘crushes’. His personality is the #1 reason why I have fallen for him. In general, he’s always generous to everyone. Sure, he’ll make a few ‘dirty’ jokes, but that’s to be expected.
At school, when we need to work together in a project, I always look down and see that his legs are wide open, up to the point where I want to yell at him, “Close your legs!” And I caught him a few times touching the crotch area of his loosely-fitted pants, weird eh? I don’t understand if he likes me, or he’s comfortable enough with me to do that kind of thing. Also, when we talk side-by-side, I find him brushing up against me, or touching my shoulders, something that I didn’t catch (yet) when he and one of his girl friend (he has friends that are girls :P) were next to each other. This one I didn’t even catch myself until he said so. A few months ago, probably in mid September, the teacher assigned us seats, and lucky me I sat next to him! We were working, and I think he was getting a bit too close, so he said “Oops. Sorry, I was getting too close to you”, or something along those lines. He seemed emotionless, with no signs of regret on his voice. I just smiled at him and went back to work. That same month, the entire class was playing a computer game, and everytime he won or loss, he was all up in my face.
Nowadays, he’s just talking away to his guy friends or ignoring me completely.
What does this all mean?! Have I missed my chance?
Thank you!
I wouldn’t worry too much. Guys are all over the map at your age and it’s guaranteed he doesn’t knew what he wants. So don’t think of it as missing your chance. Think of it as waiting till he’s read for someone as awesome as you. You don’t want him before he’s ready!
Hi!
So I have quite an issue on my hands.
I have liked this extremely shy guy for about a couple months now. We text, but in person he avoids me. He avoids eye contact, avoids any socialization with me, keeps his eyes down in the halls, etc. I have definitely done my research, and he does all of the signs that a shy guy does if they like you: Points his legs towards me in a room, taps pencils, studders when I talk to him, flicks eyes away when I catch him looking, looks at me constantly. A couple of weeks ago, I worked up the nerve to ask him to the Sadie Hawkins school dance. He asked me if I wanted to join him with his friends because he already had plans. I was fine with it, and we went out with friends. Not once did he look at me or say a word to me. I was thinking this was him being shy, but within a few days, one of his close buds told me he is not interested in me at all. This came as a shock because he had been giving me all the signs that he liked me. Including inviting me out with his friends when he already had plans made.
Basically what I am asking is, do you think that he doesn’t know what he wants? Or is he really not interested? I am very confused at this point and any advice would be a big help. Thanks in advance!
I think you’re right on track with your analysis. I’d add that hems probably scared that you got too close and good things might actually happen. So he went down the path of sabatoging it. I’m not exactly sure the best next step to take but I would suggest that you sound very sharp and deserve to be treated better than this. A real man will do that. No need to hang around for people who just aren’t worthy of you.
Hi Traci! I just saw your website! I could really use your help. I’ve liked this one guy for a couple of years now. I’m good friends with his sisters, and his parents like me. I go over to their house on Saturdays for a religious gathering. I can’t help but catch him starring at me all the time. Whenever i look at him, he looks away real fast as if he wasn’t looking at me at all. I can see him starring at me in the corner of my eyes, Even from across the room, or when he’s talking to a family member or something. Whenever i’m with his sister in her room, he passes by to get to his room, but he looks at me when he passes his sister’s room. I always catch him starring at me. He acts kinda shy around me too.. It’s hard to tell if he likes me or not. Is this all a good sign?
He’s got his eye on you for sure! So yes this is a good sign. Here’s the thing though. Guys need to make the first move. His interest in you needs to be greater than his fear of failure. So just be your sweet self and attract him in. But dn’t get too stuck on him. He may never come around. So be sure you keep yourself open to other better options that show up!
There is a guy in one of my classes that I have a crush on. At the beginning of the semester, he was sitting far from me (or I was sitting from him). Recently, he has been sitting closer to me and a few days ago he was sitting right next to me. I am not sure what it means. I’ve caught him looking a few times. At least, I think he was looking. I’m not really sure. I always assumed he had a girlfriend. He always sit next to her in class. Plus, he’s never talked to me, not even once. Which is why he’s sudden change confuses me. Any advise?
I don’t think you’ve given me enough info to give any advice!
So there’s this guy we are in the same college, ever since I started school i been seen him everywhere, everytime I see him I always catch him staring at me and smiling at me and it’s so weird the fact that I always see him in the train and the fact that we take the same trains. I’m so confuse I just don’t know if he likes me or not his always trying to be near me in such an obvious way that I could noticed right away . Last week I traid talking to him but ones I saw that he looked at me I panic and left and ever since that I keep seeing him but I don’t even know why he docent talk to me or anything . Plus I don’t even know why but everytime I see him I start smiling and feeling nerves .
Sounds like he’s into you! he’s just unsure of himself. You’ve got to wait till his want for you is stronger than his fear of rejection. That’s when the magic will happen!
Oh yes and Traci I forgot to mention one detail. He is married as well but doesnt seem to mention very positive things about his spouse. He always mentions how she naggs and I believe he didn’t mention to another coworker in front of me that him and his wife don’t make love often. Thank you Traci
Sounds like he’s looking outside his relationship and is probably interested in you–that’s what the science says. On a personal note, since it sounds like you’re happy, don’t screw up what you just because he’s having trouble at home.
I won’t Traci thank you for your opinion. I really appreciate it
Oh and I forgot to mention he watches me smile a lot. What is that about? Oh and the fact that he agrees with pretty much everything I say. It’s to the point to where he responds with ” I was just thinking the same thing…..that’s funny”. Or “I like veggies on my pizza too” and ” I was just looking the same thing up on google” . I don’t understand why he is doing all this since you believe he is interested or am I just imagining that he is doing it because he is interested?
Yep he’s super into you. Guys think women are attracted to them when we smile. SO if you want to brush him off, just smile lots less. Sounds like you’re not imagining things. If you want him to stop, just let him know you’re flattered and let him know he’s not going to have any luck with you.
I like this guy… He knows it to… Hes constantly touching my arm, back or hand, he even touch’s his leg to mine in class…. So what does that mean? Does he like me or not?
Yep, he’s into you for sure.
Does this guy like me? Here are my situations… he seems to always ask me for help in class and asks to copy my paper a lot and sits close to me to copy my paper
Hello :),
I was wondering if I could have an opinion on someone I know who is very quiet. I’m not too sure if he likes me because he gives mixed signals. I catch him staring at me whenever he walks past or if we’re standing in different places in the same room but he immediately looks away when I do. I haven’t had a conversation with him for a while since I gave up the class that I used to be with him in. The last conversation I had with him was before an exam in which he gave very short answers, would laugh nervously and just seemed generally nervous-as if he wanted to leave the conversation. However, in a lesson beforehand I mentioned (sarcastically) how learning about soil was the most exciting thing ever and he replied ‘You must have a boring life then.’ whilst smiling (pretty sure he was teasing me) and I went ‘Oh yeah, living under a rock makes everything interesting.’ to which he laughed. Now he just does the staring thing with me-especially at break where his group of friends will be a few metres away from us and I will catch him looking at me from there. Do I intimidate him or something? Thank you x
Sounds like he’s into you. The only problem with the kind of conversations you describe is that kind of exchange can make him nervous. Sounds like you’ve got a quick wit and this indeed may intimidate him. So just don’t do too much of it and work towards more straight up conversations.
Actually we are eating now… He just asked me out
YEAH!!!
So thank you this helped
My crush has shown no open signs of liking me, apart from eye contact – which I’ll explain in a minute. I think he avoids girls altogether generally, but he has not shown disinterest, I think he’s just shy. I sit next to him in one lesson and when I lean forward he leans back, or when I change the position of my hands he does the same, and when I open a textbook he does too. I can’t tell whether this is because he doesn’t know what to do or whether he likes me. We don’t talk, but we say similar things, and I can tell he pays attention to me and shows a small amount of interest. Often he sits closer to my side of the desk than I do to his. The eye contact has been great. I can tell he’s looking at me a lot of the time – whenever I’m walking around or near him in the class, out of the corner of my eye I can see him looking at me, or at least in my direction. It seems as if he always has to be around friends when he sees me. For example, when I looked at him a while ago, he suddenly started conversation with somebody I didn’t think he was that close with. Whenever I look back at him, he glances away. He hasn’t really laughed at much of what I say, but I think that’s because he might feel embarrassed if it wasn’t supposed to be funny. He mirrors my body language a lot, and as I said, if I get a book out of my bag, he copies, and we often have similar posture, which I’m not sure is deliberate. He doesn’t sit facing me, but his legs are open, and I can tell he is attentive. Again, if he does have a crush on me, I suspect this to be fear of opening up in case I wouldn’t like him back. Next time I sit next to him in a lesson, I will check his pupils to see if they’re dilated. But can you help me out now? Is it worth trying to pursue anything with him? Or is it just pointless if we don’t really talk?
Sounds like he’s got his eye on you. But at some point you do need to talk to see if you’ve got anything that’s real or interesting for either of you. Yes, he’s got a fear of opening up and that’s normal. You’ve got to make yourself so intriguing that his want for you is more than his fear. I think it’s wroth trying to strike up a conversation or two. Let me know how it goes!
He’s not actually a very nice guy. Unfortunate, but it’s just how it goes sometimes 🙁
Hi Traci,
There is this shy guy that i like and we both work together. He is only part timer and i introduce him to my company. Well, I known him for a long time, but only these few months I started to know him more, as in talking to him and he has autism but mild. So we both go to same congregation and when I got on the bus, he was quite far from me but he looked at me at the bus stop and as the bus drove pass him, he looked at me inside the bus and smiled. 🙂
So he’s tend to be shy around other people and he can be a bit biolar because of his autism. But he would approach and talk to me. What is your thought? Thank you.
Autism makes things a little tougher. These guys are almost always shy. The problem is that they’re usually unable to read the unspoken signs you’re sending. So the chances of him asking you out are slim unless he’s 100% certain you’re into him. So if you really like him, you may just want to tell him straight out and that will make things lots easier.
Hi traci, i dont know if this guy likes me. He always pokes me in the stomach sometimes. Always giving me highfives. I think he waits for me after class cuz im usually the last one and hes usually the earliest but waits and tries to walk with me but im too nervous to be with him he has also been to some of my sports games and actually cheers
Sounds like he’s into you. Since you’re shy too this one is going to require you to get out of your shell a little bit so see if he’ll come your way.
Hey Traci!
My story is a little long but I’ll try to keep it short. The thing is that I have had a crush on a certain guy since 7th grade (i’m in 11th grade now) and about two weeks ago I told him that I liked him through a note i wrote that my friend gave to him since I never see him around school and she said he read it and told her he’ll write back later. A few weeks later, my sister had a convo with him about common things and then she switched the topic to me. She said that when she asked him about me he started smiling and he told her I looked like a really nice person. She didn’t know about the note at all but he also brought that up in the convo and she asked him why he hadn’t written back and his reply was “i’m shy but i’m not shy and I don’t know what to say.” I don’t really get that. We haven’t talked at all because we haven’t had any classes and I never see him in school. I was planning to talk to him today but he saw me approaching him and he ran up and started talking to his friends. I want to talk to him but I seem to be scaring him off and I also don’t want to seem too desperate. Should I write another note asking him why he hasn’t written back and if we could meet up one day? or should I just let him come to me when he’s ready?
I think you should let him come when he’s ready. There’s no need to put any energy into a guy who isn’t ready to play ball. His want for you needs to be bigger than his fear. And he’s full of fear right now. I haven’t heard of anyone writing notes in a long time! I thought everyone was texting now. I’d probably not do any more. Your only job is to attract him in so he’l come talk to you on his own.
This guy sits beside of me everyday in class. He is constantly looking over at me, but he never talks. He has a girlfriend also, but he has followed me on several social media sites. I’m not sure if he’s into me, or what to do?
Sounds like you may have caught his eye. But since he’s got a girlfriend you know he’s putting someone else first. You deserve to be #1 with anyone who’s into you! Just brush it off until hels single. There’s no real meaning till then.
all he does is stare at me. he’ll either look away really fast, keep staring, watch from the corner of his eye, or take glimpses of me when he walks past me. last night I was a school girl for Halloween and he was surrounded by a bunch of girls who were dressed the same way I was but I was a different color. he stared at me then I looked back at him and he turned his head to stare at me again. he also gets very loud with his friends when I’m around, he laughs and talks really loud when something isn’t that funny. last night his friend made a simple joke and he started laughing extremely loud, kinda nervous , forced and obnoxiously. sometimes I feel like he walks in front of me, or sits near me on purpose. another example: I was talking about something that had to do with balls. and literally two seconds later he was loudly talking to his friend saying “GET YOUR BALLS HAHA” and I just found that odd. we never talk though.
so what exactly is your question?
my question is does he like me or no.
I’m thinking he’s trying to get you to pay attention to him so probably so!
Hi this is not about the crush-crush thingy ;).. I just want to ask hmm a advice mybe.. a year and a half ago , I had a fight with my guy friend bcos he humiliated me with something that was so embrassing. since that day we didn’t talk to each other. I don’t know if he regretting it or not, but a day after we fight my friends said that he was so distant and kinda bad mood( I was absence a day after the fight). and ystrday I go to talk to him and apologize to him though he’s the one who should make the first move, and I look straight at him, while he just looks down when I said my apologize to him . I’m hoping that he will talks to me and mybe says sorry to me after what he’s done, but he just nodded when I says sorry to him. I was kinda dissapointed and hurt because it he seems like he was rejecting my apology. when I point this out to my bestfriend , they says that he is a shy guy , he is different with any other guy ( but he told my bestfriend that he didn’t mad at me, and when my friend tell him to just talk to me and apologize to me, he just shrugged it off and smiles) . and he always look away when I accidentally stare at him. I don’t understand this guy, he’s complicated. I don’t know whether he hates me or not. I still remember the times that we are not awkward to each other, and now he don’t even wants look at me.:(
What i’m trying to say is why did he acts like he didn’t want to talk to me and did he hates me or not. please Mrs.Brown can u give me the advice? Fyi, I also had this strange feeling to him, but I don’t know what it is, either it positive or negative feeling. and I also often having a dream of him.
So there’s this guy I like who I think may like me back. When we first met, he seemed really nice and not awkward in the least. After a couple more times of talking to him, he started to become very distant with me and I felt like he was pushing me away and didn’t want to speak to me. He’s talkative and relaxed around other people my age, but with me he shrugs when I try and make him laugh and gives me one word answers most of the time and comes across as extremely moody and grumpy. He seems extremely nervous around me and when I asked him why he’s like this with me, he kept changing the subject and wasn’t being serious with me at all. I noticed him copying what I was doing with my hands (I was holding them in my lap) during the conversation and once he patted my foot… 😀 He never initiates conversation with me. Is the reason why he’s so awkward, weird and extremely distant with me because he likes me/finds me attractive? He’s extremely introverted in general and hides away in corners a lot.
If I’m understanding the situation right, it sounds like he may have a big fear of failure. That’s why he’s acting as he does and hiding in corners, etc. Sounds like you’re very into him especially if you’re having dreams about him. He probably doesn’t hate you. I suspect that he just doesn’t know what to do around someone who’s giving him more attention than he’s comfortable with. As far as next steps, i’m unsure about what to tell you. He’s got to want to com out of his shell and until he does, your attention may just scare him off.
Hi Mrs.Brown ;).. a year and a half
ago , I had a fight with my guy
friend bcos he humiliated me with
something that was so
embrassing. since that day we
didn’t talk to each other. I don’t
know if he regretting it or not, but
a day after we fight my friends
said that he was so distant and
kinda bad mood( I was absence a
day after the fight). and ystrday I
go to talk to him and apologize to
him though he’s the one who
should make the first move, and I
look straight at him, while he just
looks down when I said my
apologize to him . I’m hoping that
he will talks to me and mybe says
sorry to me after what he’s done,
but he just nodded when I says
sorry to him. I was kinda
dissapointed and hurt because it
he seems like he was rejecting my
apology. when I point this out to
my bestfriend , they says that he
is a shy guy , he is different with
any other guy ( but he told my
bestfriend that he didn’t mad at
me, and when my friend tell him
to just talk to me and apologize to
me, he just shrugged it off and
smiles) . and he always look away
when I accidentally stare at him. I
don’t understand this guy, he’s
complicated. I don’t know whether
he hates me or not. I still
remember the times we are
not awkward to each other, and
now he don’t even wants to look at
me.:( ..
Sounds like he’s super embarassed and just doesn’t know how to handle himself. in this situation I’d probably suggest just letting it go. You tried to make things right. If he can’t step up and at least take responsibility for his aprt in it, he’s not the guy you want.
hi theres a guy at work who i think likes me, hes always telling me jokes, leaving me funny notes. he calls me by a different name on purpose ( he knows my name). once he asked to borrow a pen and he put his hand on mine and i swear it felt like forever and my heart felt like it was pounding. he always smiles at me when we see each other and i do too. we had a work meeting and he sat next to me (other spaces were available) our legs rested against each others and neither of us moved them. we playfully push each other and try to tickle each other, its like were both kids. im 38 and hes 40 !! we don’t know each other outside of work. hes not on any social media sites and i know very little about him. he always seems to know when im in work we have separate rotas and says at he end of the working day “ill see you…..and he just knows what day ill be working. (if you know what i mean). he always notices when im wearing something new or had my nails done etc. ive not noticed if hes “flirty” with anyone else. i do like him a lot and ive never said anything to him about it ( too shy). this has been going on for quite a while now.
Sound like he’s into you for sure. Here’s the thing though. You want him to come to you. He’s got to want you more than his level of fear. It just rarely works when girls make the first move. However if you’re tired of the games (I’m about your age and let’s face it there’s only so much time to flirt around) and want to test the waters, say something funny and jokingly about him liking you and then leave it. He’ll pick up the ball and run with it or he won’t. And you’ve got to be ready for either outcome.
thnks mrs.Brown 😉 .. í ½í¸í ½í¸
one day while I was coming back from my lunch break I noticed one of my coworkers walking up to me and smiling from ear to ear. I didn’t know how to react to this, so I just made eye contact with him and kept on walking to me destination. a few weeks later I see the same guy, but this time I catch him looking at me and of course he looks away really fast…we have been playing eye-tag with one another for two weeks now I really want to say something to him but I just don’t know what to say and I just cant figure out if he is in to me or not.
He’s got his eye on you but isn’t sure. So I wouldn’t put too much pressure on yourself to say exactly the right thing to him. The best thing you can do is be yourself. He’s got to get over his insecurities to take things further. SO something like ‘Wow, you’re sure smiley lately’ is really simple and will start up a conversation or not. He’ll have the choice to pick up the ball and run with it. But with that you’ve set him up for success.
This is exactly what has been happening to me with a coworker at my workplace! Wow. I just am not quite sure if he likes me, or if he’s just afraid of me. I have another girl coworker that is constantly flirting with him, and he seems to be really friendly with her without any shyness at all and I’m wondering if he likes her instead. That would be sad for me, but I guess it would all make sense. He’s really a sweetheart and he’s always willing to help me, but he also blushes and looks away all the time. Maybe I’m really intimidating because I’m not shy? I don’t want to scare him away because I’m pretty into him, but I do kind of want to know what his feelings are. All of these things are happening daily multiple times. He always “accidentally” bumps into me then apologizes and uses his apology as a conversation starter. I really want his phone number but I’m not sure how to ask him… Also not sure if he even is into me, like I previously mentioned. Help!
–Ellie 🙂
Wow. This one is tough. Clearly he’s not ready to take things to the next level or he’d use his conversation starters to do just that. The blushing says that he’s thinking of you more than just when he sees you. If he’s shy, you may indeed be intimidating. So toning it down may be your best plan of action to see if you can attract him in. It’s easy to just grab a cup of coffee and chat. If you say ‘I’m going to starbucks, want to go?’ that makes it even easier. I think the less meaning you put on whatever conversation comes about, the better. If you can just nudge him along things may develop more naturally. Getting shy guys out of their shells is the hardest part. After that it’s easy.
Hi Traci
On a previous comment you asked me for more information in order to be able to give me any advice. I replied with the requested information But I don’t think you have seen it yet. Could you please check? I would really like your opinion on my situation. Thanks in advance!
Hecate
I’m not seeing it. Better resend.
*Original comment*
(There is a guy in one of my classes that I have a crush on. At the beginning of the semester, he was sitting far from me (or I was sitting from him). Recently, he has been sitting closer to me and a few days ago he was sitting right next to me. I am not sure what it means. I’ve caught him looking a few times. At least, I think he was looking. I’m not really sure. I always assumed he had a girlfriend. He always sit next to her in class. Plus, he’s never talked to me, not even once. Which is why he’s sudden change confuses me. Any advise?)
More information.
We are in the same major at school, so this is not the first time we’ve been in the same class. I noticed him the very first time I saw him. I am sure he noticed me too since I kind of stand out. I was the tallest girl in that class. Anyway, we sat near each other in that class and I caught him looking at me a few times, or what appeared to me like he was looking. This class was over the summer and when the weather hit 90 degrees, I would go to class in shorts. One extremely hot day, I stay after class to ask the professor about the upcoming exam, and he was there, standing next to me, even though he didn’t have to ask the professor anything. I am not sure if he was looking at me or not because I was too busy freaking about the exam. Though it is possible that I caught everyones attention that day, I was wearing really short shorts. After that, I noticed he would look more often, and one time I caught him not-so-subtly stretch and look over at me. But that class ended and he never approached me. I have caught other guys in school watching me, but I was never interested in them and they never approached me. Some people seem to think that I am very pretty but I don’t actually see it.
Now, my current situation. When classes started in September, I was sort of glad that I would not be seeing him again. He made me feel really confused, which isn’t something I like to feel. Imagine my surprise when I see that he is in my class. For the first three weeks or so of class he sat towards the middle (the seat are arrange in the shape of a sideways “u”) and, because I am a huge chicken, I sat as far from him as I could, towards the front. We made eye contact once or twice but that doesn’t exactly mean he was looking at me when I looked towards him. After consistently sitting in the same seat for the first few weeks of class, he moved his seat in October. He sits closer to me now, even though there’s no shortage of seats in the room. As I mentioned in my first comment, at one point he was sitting right next to me even thought there was room for him to sit anywhere else. Recently, his friend, the one I mentioned he always sat next to, asked him why he was sitting all the way towards the front and that she could have sworn he used to sit next to her (it took her an entire month to noticed he moved). He responded that he “always” sits there. He still hasn’t talked to me or made any effort too. Because of my position in the room, I can’t really look at him without being to obvious. Sometimes, out of the corner of my eye, it looks like he’s turned towards me, but he could just be turned towards the board. I really don’t know what to do here. I am really confused. College kind of makes you a loner, so I don’t have anyone in that class that I can ask or that I can talk too. I don’t really date (like ever) so I don’t know how to read guys or how to tell if he’s interested or not. This is new territory for me and I am failing miserably. Am I just seeing what I want to see or is there something there? I don’t want to approach him for fear of embarrassing myself. What If I am reading the signs wrongs and he doesn’t even know I exist? Should I just let this go? Cut my losses and move on, before I end up really hurt? Help please!
My take on it is this. You are putting yourself through agony trying to figure him out. If you talk to him how could you be embarassed? If you just keep the conversation light and talk about the class it should be pretty easy.If you take expectations off the situation it will get easier. Maybe you could even sit by him. But your expectations are what’s causing the problem. That’s what messes up your behavior. Just be yourself. Let him come to you, but you’ve got to give him the chance to! All this staring at each other isn’t doing anyone any good. Let me know how it goes.
Hi Traci
In my workplace I meet with a girl whom I like. But we work in a different department. In beginning i had no feelings for her. she is very pretty and beautiful. When i met her at the very first day she acted very normal. afterwards whenever I tried to say hello just as a colleague, she replied my question and take her eyes off me. It was like she was bothered by my greeting or I looked her in a wrong way. I start feeling guilty inside me. I also noticed she is a very shy girl she doesn’t talk with many people in workplace except few people. My guiltiness create some sort of infatuation for her. Once i was helping my colleague to do troubleshooting, suddenly I looked over my neck to see her. she looked at me and i took my eyes away. the very next day i found she was working closed door. I start feeling more embarrassed and more guilty inside me. I stop looking at her afterwards. whenever she is around i tried to put my head down. i want to make sure she doesn’t feel awkward anymore in my presence. there was other day we are about to collide with each other, somehow i was able to move away from her way. another day i found out she is noticing me whether i look at her or not. i did the same mistake again by looking at her. again twice we meet in the kitchen. she asked me hello for the 1st time. 2nd time i greet her and she was kind of ignored me. there was other day when i was making coffee in kitchen and she was there. i pretend that i didn’t see her. suddenly one of my female colleague named T entered in the kitchen. conversation was like. ME: how r u T ? T: I am good but having headache from morning? ME: How did u get the headache ? (silly question cause I am nervous around her) T: I don’t know? Now SHE: she got the headache from work. ME: How r u to my crush?(I was embarrassed). She didn’t give me any answer. she looked at my eyes for the first time and smiled. Now my situation is like that i don’t notice any girl or women in the street. I require your advise.
So you told T that she’s your crush, not the girl who you like? ANd the girl you like saw you do it? Is that right?
Hi! I was wondering if you could help me out:
I am in high school and wanted to hook up with this guy, who was shy and inexperienced (according to his friend). I know for a fact he was interested in me because he wanted to hook up last year but never acted on it. Once he knew I was interested I noticed he was always around in the background somewhere and that he would always make eye contact when we passed each other in the hall or when he left a room. We had never talked before but I knew he was interested and couldn’t work up the courage to talk to him (even though I am confident). I went to a party he was at and couldn’t talk to him and his friends were on his case about hooking up with me the whole time. He said he would the next night, but the next night came and he never showed up. What the hell! I was pissed and told his friends I was done trying with him. I know they gave him crap about bailing on me so I think he thinks I hate him or something. His friend asked if I was still mad at him but idk if that was for him or for his friend because he was prying. Anyway, now it is so awkward and we can’t make eye contact. It was getting better because he’d at least look at me when passing me after a while. I even saw him check me out three times in a row while I was talking to this other guy. But now everything changed. He looks down at his phone when he passes me and he is full on avoiding me now. It’s so weird, I have no idea why this is happening. I was with a group of guys and he walked in with some friends and his friends came over to us, but he just walked away like super fast and disappeared. Why is this happening?! I really like him and want him to like me, but I feel like maybe I came off too strong? I think I blew my chance with him, but am willing to try another route if you suggest something. Please help!
I think that you need to focus on a guy who’s ready to man up and be with you. Trying to pull him out of his shell is a tough road. The thing is that guys will act when they’re ready. It’s important not to throw off the balance of nature which is guys chase girls. A strong woman can scare most guys off. And especially since he’s already expressed some feelings toward you and got shut down, why would he set himself up for failure again?
Beyond that, lots of guys that act like this just don’t know how to show their emotions so they just disappear. It’s easier to do than be vulnerable. Most guys who are shy just have a fear of failure. So there are lots of factors at play. If I were you I’d let him go and quit being forward. But keep yourself open for opportunity if he comes your way.
nope. I didn’t tell T regarding anything. T is just a female colleague of mine. consider J is my crush. I was making coffee in kitchen. J ( my crush) entered in the kitchen. I pretend i didn’t see her. I kept myself busy with making coffee, J didn’t say anything either. suddenly T entered in to the kitchen. conversation start
Me: how r u, T?
T: I was good in the morning, but I am having headache.
Me: How did u get the headache? (Awkward question of mine. )
now comes J( my crush) entered in the conversation
J: T got the headache from work ( smile)
T: oh yes, It’s from work.
Me: J, how r u? ( I was blushing)
J ( my crush) didn’t answer me anything. just look at me and smiled. left the place.
Today she saw me but kind of ignored me. what should i do? I am quiet confused
If she looked at you and smiled that’s good. But she didn’t really give you the chance to take the conversation further. It would seem to me that you’ve got to get J in a conversation about work at work or strike up a conversation outside of work. You’ve got to engage. If you can’t do that and keep getting shut down, that’s a sign that your energy is best spent elsewhere.
This article is so helpful! Thats exactly how it is with this guy I like and he does cute things like look at me several times and he like hangs and walks pass me, he also had been waiting for me to get out of work in a slick way like he’ll petent like he’s picking up something and then as soon as I’m headed towards the door he goes out too. What do you think will make a shy guy go from giving you body signals to actually flirting and talking to you?
Many shy guys are shy because they have a fear of failure or think they aren’t deserving of a good woman. In your situation you’ve also got work involved and it can be kinda taboo to date at work. What have you done to make yourself available? Your job is simply to attract him in. Guys do like the chase for the most part. SO you’ve got to walk the fine line of being too forward and being alluring. in the end, guys won’t do anything till their want for you is stronger than his fear of failure.
So I am in high school right now. the guy i liked in 8th grade i suspected he liked me because i caught him staring a few times. Then by the end of 8th grade I decided I did like him too but that’s because I suspected he liked me too. I started suspecting he liked me because sometimes he would do something funny and I would always catch him looking my way to see if I was laughing (i think thats why?) Come 9th grade, I had no classes with him but lunch if that counts. Sometimes I still catch him looking. One scenario from last year was when I went up with my friend to get some more lunch and she told me she caught him looking and smiling at me except I didn’t see because I had turned around when he did I guess. Now this year, 10th grade, we have no classes together. but in the hallways I catch him finding my face within a second in the crowded hallways. We hold a ‘gaze’ until one of us looks away. A few things I picked up on was how he subtly moves slightly closer to me in the hallways. It honestly took me a while to notice. Either he does that on purpose or its just coincidence. I can’t tell if he ever liked me or if he thinks im odd so it really really confuses me. please help me out? thanks so much!
Sounds like he’s got his eye on you. And it also sounds like it’s been a while. Is there a Sadie Hawkins dance you can invite him to? Or next time you talk you could always just say something like ‘It’s been years that we’ve had our eye on each other’, then smile and see what he responds with. It may not be much of anything because you’ll put him on the spot. But he’ll either take the ball and run with it or the game will be over. LEt me know how it goes.
Hi Traci,
I am leaving this comment in the hopes that you’ll reply.
There’s a guy that I like recently but he’s REALLY shy. In the beginning, he never spoke to me first so I had to go up and talk to him. When he replies he smiles at me and seems really happy that I’m speaking to him. Because I say “hi” to him pretty often whenever I see this guy, I think he got a little courage to say hi or bye back to me now much more than he used to. So I’m pretty sure that he likes me… I read on your article that if guys stare at you frequently then it’s a sure sign that he likes you. But the thing is, the guy that I like tries to avoid looking at me or staying really close to me. In fact, I sense a bit of nervous awkwardness when I’m near him and look at him. And he never texts me first, and when I text him, he takes 10-20 minutes to reply. This is because he’s just really shy, right? What should I do to make him open up to me more? I’ve tried talking to him a lot of times and texting him first 4 times already, but it seems like this guy will never come out of his safety zone no matter how many hints I give him. And I’m a pretty shy person myself, so I don’t have the courage to say that I like him. What should I do?
Well, my first reaction is that generally putting lots of effort into bringing a guy out of his shell is fruitless. You want a guy who’s confident enough that he wants you to do something about it. He’s GOT to make the first move, then you can open him up. You may be being too forward with all of the texts. Remember relationships are an in person kind of thing so I’d try to keep your moves in person that way you’re sure of his reaction.
Traci,
Thank you for responding. You are definitely right. I am driving myself crazy trying to figure him out. He is like a puzzle to me. But I won’t actually be able to figure him out if I don’t talk to him. I will take you advice and make a small change. Maybe move over one sit so I am closer to him. As far as talking to him goes, I might try to ask how class is going to far. I am not embarrassed to talk to him. I am not shy, just quiet. You told me to let him come to me but I had to give him the chance. How would I do that? He has had numerous chances to come up to me if he wanted to but he never has. Could that have something to do with me? Or my body language? You said I should be myself. I usually am being myself. I don’t want to change who I am. Especially not in an attempt to impress some guy. I will keep you post if anything changes. Thanks again for your advice!
I finally introduced myself to my crush…it was super awkward. he did make eye contact and he smiled, but we did not make any small talk. before I walked up to say hi, he did look at me and he made sure that I saw him looking at me. I don’t know what to say the next time is see him. any suggestions?
You gotta find out what he likes and talk about that. DO your homework. Find out what you have in common. That usually does the trick.
There i this guy that i know, he is my bestie’s cousin. we are friends and he lives far away, so i only see him once in a blue moon (but we aren’t really keeping in touch either). One day after school on a summer’s vacation, i decided to go spend it with my bestie, then later we got a call that her cousins are coming, which included him. So when he came, and met my bestie and some other of our friends, there were all getting along you know? but once i saw him and once he saw me, he just stopped talking and just stared…(And this was before he even knew i liked him). Like he just stood still and stared! i mean (i like him so yea, dreamy moment lol) so my bestie (she knows i like him) and her cousin’s brother (which is still her cousin lool) decided to spread it around that i liked him. Ever since then, we were teased endlessly about our relationship. on often times, his bro will teasingly push me on him and stuff and i will be the only one scolding his brother and telling him to stop while he just doesn’t do anything (i have never really looked at his face and all when it happens lool). One day he told my bestie that “he wish to never see me again”. My bestie told me and i was really distraught. But instead of ignoring me and acting like i never existed, he kept on staring at me, LIKE REAL INTENSE STARES and one time when i was alone in the car he even came in to start a conversation with me! (i think he wanted to say something, but i cut the convo by leaving cuz i was too shy and hurt)
Years later, i haven’t heard or seen him and my friends that are with him said that he has never asked of me whatsoever. And when they asked indirectly if he remembered me, he said “I think so” What should i make of this? does he like me? hate me? or doesn’t remember me after all this time? I need help please!
Sounds like you haven’t had any meaningful contact in a long time. So I’d let this one go unless he’s going to be around a lot.
There is this shy guy that I have never talked to (but am interested in), and he has been giving signals (based on his body language) that show that he likes me but isn’t sure I feel the same. I have primarily guy friends and he has seen me talking to a lot of older guys or just guys in general.
It seems like he can almost “sense” when I’m around, and then he just shows up randomly. Today in school, (we are both 16 btw) I was sitting at a table in the lounge, talking to some guys and then he comes out of nowhere from behind me. I guess he could tell it was me from behind because he walked over to the guy I was talking to (who was standing while I was sitting) and as he got in front of me, he turned fully around and looked at me and then went up really close to the other guy and stood with his back toward me. I’m not sure how to interpret this because I thought that guys don’t stand with their backs towards girls they like (unless maybe he was trying to show dominance or something, I don’t know). What do you think?
This one sounds unusual with the back turning thing. But the fact that he’s showing up a lot says volumes here. My suspicion is that he’s scared and just doesn’t know how to behave to show is feeling while not being too vulnerable. SO just keep doing what you’re doing. He’s got to want you more than his fear of failure. Then he’ll act.
There’s this shy guy I like, and I could tell that he liked me too (we’re both 16), but both of us were too nervous to talk to each other in person. I decided that I should just text him and see what happens. He was super excited and nice, but was giving short replies mostly, except a few times, and it was sort of just me asking questions, which is not fun. Today, I saw him with a group of people and I was with two guys and we walked over to near where he was sitting. He kept looking at me and talking to people looking in my direction. I felt really bad because one of the guys was being really flirty and touchy in front of the guy and when I looked over at him, he wasn’t looking at me anymore and he looked super pissed/ jealous. I felt so bad, and after like ten minutes I realized he was gone 🙁 I decided to text him later and we’re talking again but it’s still short replies and awkward. I feel like I hurt him and I don’t know how to get him to open up to me, especially after what happened today. I really want to hang out with him, but I’m so nervous and become introverted when I see him. Help!
SO this is a different guy than the last one you wrote about?
No! It’s the same one. I just decided to reach out to him finally.
Ok so two introverts never work. They’re both too nervous to get anything going! So you’ve got to work on yourself first and come out of your shell. Texting isn’t going to do it. You’ve got to strike up a conversation in person. If he won’t talk back to you then he won’t. That’s your sign to move on. You can’t make anyone open up after you’ve put in a bit of effort. You might as well focus your energy on someone who thinks he’s good enough for you and will pick up the ball and run with it.
Hi Traci..I just came across this blog..super amazing..especially when I am in such a dilemma…pls help me out traci…there’s this guy in my office who is very social,outgoing personality and is always with female colleagues of his(he doesn’t have male colleagues). We actually belong to same religion but two different cultures. Right since I joined office this guy leaves no chance to stare at me. He even once tried to talk to me when we were in the meeting room as if he wants to talk for hours. He has even given long stares as if he is wanting to make me understand something. I try to avoid him most of the time because I just broke from my previous relationship and going through a sad phase. It’s like now I don’t trust anyone. But ever since I met this guy, I cannot avoid to not to look at him since he is handsome though. His behavior confuses me many a time. When he is with his female colleagues he completely ignores me. But when he walks past my desk he wants to say hi. Many a times he shows off that he goes to gym and many a times talks loudly just to grab my attention. Sometimes its just looks too much. I could see that all the girls instantly connect with him and he thought even I might do the same but I try to ignore him and this behavior of mine makes him crazy enough as to I am the only girl not wanting to be with him. I am afraid may be because of cultural differences and because I find him very showy and not trustworthy. I feel he sometimes just try to be around woman and attract them. But I have caught him a myriad times staring at me whenever he walks past my desk or I am in the meeting room. But this doesn’t happen when he is with his friends. I am confused that does he really likes me or just that he wants my attention since I show that I am not interested in him. All the other women he talks to are not so attractive.
Sounds like he’s got his eye on you but he’s too scared to show his feelings. Sounds like you’re not into him… ANd especially since you’re just coming off a bad relationship end, you need a guy who’s going to stand up and treat you like a lady, not someone he’s into only in certain situations. So before you put too much energy into this just let the situation go and if he mans up then you know he’s someone you want.
I work with a guy that I like. He is very sweet and friendly. So trying to figure out if he likes me too is hard. I have a little girl who comes to work with me and he plays with her. Every one thinks it’s the sweetest thing. He absolutely adores her. He is very nice to me too. But because of his friendliness, I don’t know if he likes me or just treats me the same as everyone else. He is very kind to everyone. I have caught him staring at me and he smiles and turns his head or walks away. He’s never touched me and I’m not good at being able to tell if someones eyes are dilated. He does talk to me but not as much as he talks to everyone else. He seems a bit shy. I am also quite a bit older than him. I have tried to initiate conversation and he will talk back but it’s very sparse conversation and he never asks me questions but he hangs around after work for a bit to play with my daughter then he smiles and says bye and leaves. I don’t know what to think..
This one is tough because you have the sometimes taboo issue of workplace dating in the mix. He may not want to go there. I think the best way to get him to open up may be to play with your daughter when he does. That way his defenses will be down a little bit and you two will have a something in common right in front of you to talk about. If he’s looking at you then looking away, that’s a good sign that you may have caught his eye. Pushing too hard in this situation will certainly lead to failure. Just be strategic about when you talk to him and I think you’ll get better responses
Hey traci I do like him but its just that I am too scared to move ahead….also I do want to understand his body language…he kind of like dodges me around just want to see if I do look at him when he walks past my desk. Also he shy’s away sometimes when he looks at me…so its kind of confusing…..
If you’re too scared then that’s a problem. You’ve got to be 100% congruent in what you want to get a guy to do anything. So work on yourself first and then he’ll come around. Just ask–what are you afraid of? And what are the chances of that really happening? You’ve got to be ok with the risk or even if he does come around you’ll find a way to sabotage it.
Hello Traci,
So I’m married and so is my crush. Word got out at work that I find him attractive. I’m super shy & very nervous around him. He’s the complete opposite. He’s super nice and friendly with me. I’m intentions aren’t to cheat on my husband I just really find this male so HOT!! (LOL) I know I should walk away but I can’t. I’m so intrigued by him. He’s always staring at me sometimes he’ll look away and other times he won’t. He sings my name every time he passes by me. He always makes random small talk with me. Almost feels like he is playing this getting to know you game with me. When we talk I feel like it’s just us talking and we are both so in sync with each other. We both get excited when we share the same interests. As we both have ear to ear grins on our faces. My gut tells me he feels the same but I’m not sure?? He’s much more willing to talk when it’s just him & I. He never talks about his kids and barely to never talks about his wife. Not sure if he’s the same with others. When I mention my husband he just bypasses it. I try to ignore him sometimes just best for us both. I feel as if he looks for me and starts random conversation. Which I love then I’m hooked. However come the next time I see him. He’s cold and almost seems like he’s avoiding me. I don’t get it!! Any thoughts please!?!
He’s turning cold from time to time because he knows that you two better quit it as well! I can’t advise you want to do–you’ve got your own values– but it could be nice just to enjoy the conversations that you have. And turn all of that excitement & energy back to your husband..
Hello I have been confused about this guy lately. In class today we played this game and apparently you have to hold the players hand if you get caught and my crush held my hand because I got caught he’s like sorry I grab your hand and I asked him why he said cause we have to and he let go after it. But no one else did it but him and I was on his team and I was standing there and I hear people behind me and it was him but he was on his knees with his friends right as soon as I turned around they got up and were pretending nothing happened….and changed the subject..and walked away and played the game.
not sure I really understand your question.
Hi Traci,
I just came across this blog and I hope you can help me.
I met this guy 3 months ago, he’s friend of all my guy friends. He started to talk to me, we met up at a local bar with some more friends, and he was really nice an kind. He didn’t ask for my number after almost 3 weeks, he’s the shyest guy in the group. We were messaging each other, he always asked me what time I was leaving work and what time I take my lunch but he never concreted anything, but he always said we should get some lunch together. I went out one night and we left together by the end of the night, nothing happened but after that he didn’t talk to me like before. So I decided to asked him if I did something wrong, and he said no, is always a pleasure to see you. I also knew for my friends that he broke up with his ex girlfriend of 5 years barely 6 months ago. Anyways on Wednesday we saw again he came out of his shell and was talking to me during the night, we kissed by the end and he told me we should do it again and is a pleasure to see you, he’s really quiet around me, but he gets out of his shell when the rest of the guys are around and when some alcohol is involved. Yesterday Friday we all went to the bar, he came to the bar like one hour after me, when he came he didn’t even say hi to me, he basically ignored me for the whole night, and maybe I should say hi, but I didn’t, he was standing next to me and didn’t say a word, talked to everyone but me, but at the same time he was standing next to where I was, maybe he was doing it to bother me, but I couldn’t read him at all. His body even touched my body because he was literally standing next to me all the time, but he didn’t say a word.
What do you think about this person?
Thank you!
I think that you need a guy who’s ready to be a man and go after the woman he likes, not play weird games. You deserve someone who’s going to treat you right.
Hi I just came across this site.I just started high school and the second month of school I have notice this guy looking at when ever I waited for class to start.He keeps on staring at me.I found out his name and his Facebook so I sent him a friend request and he accept I but he still doesn’t talk to me.But he gets really scared or shy when ever I am around.What should I do because I am shy to talk to him tooo
You’ve caught his eye. But when 2 people are too shy to talk to each other that’s a problem. So work on yourself and your own fears first. Nothing as bad as you think will happen if you talk to him some..
Will a shy guy go a long time without texting you.
Does it takes a shy guy a long time to tell you if they like you.
Will a shy guy ever ask you out.
Reason why I’m asking because there is a guy that I like so much. Being knowing him for a year now. But he hasn’t asked me on a date or even the one to make the first call. We text more then we talk, but when we see each other in person we act like complete strangers.
I just want to know why.
It’s either that he’s not into you or he’s got a fear of failure. Sometimes you need to nudge guys a little but too much will scare them off.
I have some what the same problem. it all started when he ran up the steps just to ask a question he already knew the answer to which was are you ….. sister and i said yes then he replied back with i saw you at the he could not finish his thought so i said the pep-rally then a couple of weeks later he messaged me on Instagram saying hey but i was grounded at the time so i did not reply back within the 5 days i told him i was sorry about that and explained what happened after a few more weeks i told him how i felt about him and how i wanted a serious relationship with him he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship and i told him if your not ready then we should not be friends because all you are doing is wasting my time he said he just wants to be friends and maybe in the future we can be serious.hes 18 and im 16 is it because the age hes sending me mixed signals so im completely confused but also i read some other articles and i decided and it said most guys do this because they want to have the relationship advantages without having to put in any effort.
I think that first, you were pretty forward with telling him you want a serious relationship but remember that guys at that age tend to like their freedom so you may have scared him off. I think it’s important to believe guys when they say they don’t want a relationship and not keep beating a dead horse. If you want a guy who wants a relationship then go find one instead of waiting around while someone plays games and won’t commit.
and then he said i wasnt his type .
Just believe him!! You deserve a guy who like you!!
Dear Traci,
I went on two dates with this boy I used to know from high school. Prior to that we were talking a lot on Facebook. He was SO into me, he was the one that pursued me and our dates went so well. conversations flowed, SO much in common etc…
Things got awkward at one point though. I have a slight vision problem and i don’t wear my glasses so I was kind of blind on both dates. Couldn’t read the menu, couldn’t find his car amongst other cars etc. I was open in telling him i’m a bit self conscious about wearing my thick glasses. He forced me to try them on in front of him and said I still looked hot. He was even open to reading the menu out to me. I’m now more prepared when I go out and if I don’t wear my glasses. I’ll pre-read menu etc.
Anyway, he’s really loud around others but rather quiet around me.
He hasn’t been in touch, it’s been two months now. I’m just confused…what happened? Things were going so well?
Any suggestions? Do I just forget him?
Love your site!
This one is kinda classic from guys who aren’t sure about the situation. No matter your connection, you need a guy who can be upfront and either call it off or move forward. Treating you this way just isn’t ok.
Sounds like you’re a little self conscious about the glasses. It’s never
A good thing to hide a big deal thing like that. So make sure you can see on your dates!! That’s way sexier than not. I dot think it has tondo with the glasses. He’s just unsure maybe your connection was too good for him and scared him a little. But if he doesn’t call them that’s a sure sign that he’s not the right one for you. Believe people when they show that they don’t know how to treat people
“Treating you this way just isn’t ok.” You’re absolutely damn right! Why would I be with anyone who doesn’t have the decency to be straightforward and not leave someone hanging? I feel like this is karma though. I had two coffees with a guy earlier this year and wasn’t feeling a connection. He asked for a third one and I said i was busy with studies, i did say “maybe next week” and then when he called the next week i just ignored him. i did text back and was like “sorry i missed your call, is everything ok?” to which he replied “haha yeah”. I really really like him as a friend, but not more. I feel like I kind of left him hanging…i feel really bad cos now I know how it feels. He never told me he liked me or anything, and coffees were casual…not necessarily dates. But still, i need to learn to be honest too.
Yeah. Being honest about what’s up is hard because you don’t want to hurt people… But letting them down easy is usually the best policy.
so there’s this boy in my class he’s very famous at school and I’m very mysterious at school but outside school I’m famous so I use to hate he and his friends but this year his friends stop disturbing me . I caught him staring at me five or six times and today when I was out of the class that time the assembly started ( we are not supposed to move while the assembly goes on ) so he quickly ran out of class and stood very close to me and I quickly moved but he stood closer again and he looked into my eyes twice very deeply few months back ( and I think he’s only shy when he’s close to me and he’s one year younger than me and I’m a little taller than him )
So what’s your question?
Hi traci…I came across your blog…
I have this guy in office who is trying to woo me since a month. I don’t understand his stares. He always used to stare at me. Does he wants to ask me out?? But when he is with his colleagues he completely ignores me. This behavior of his confuses me. Office environment is so different, he tries to find a chance to talk to me when nobody’s around. He tried to talk to me and introduced himself, told me about his background,where he comes from, his family etc. I am a very shy person and stick to just saying ‘Hello’. He makes me feel nervous and having him around me gives me shivers. Is this love?? I do think about him all the time. And I think he likes me too because he always used to stare at me as if he is wants to say something. But I think I completely messed up by not communicating with him. I should have continued the communication which i totally stopped because of my shyness and feeling completely nervous when he’s around. And nowadays he’s trying to ignore me completely and has stopped all his stares not even saying ‘hello’. What does that mean?? Is he not interested anymore ??? Did I messed up?? I don’t want to loose him, at least want the communication going. Did I made him feel awkward?? Was I rude to him?? Is he hurt?? Please help me traci as to how to approach the guy again?? He was trying so hard to talk to me and keep the communication going but I totally messed up and now his ignorance is killing me. I was so used to his attention and long stares. He made me feel special. Why did he completely stopped all this?? Why he ignores me when his colleagues are around? I don’t really understand his body language. Is he playing around with my feelings?? Is he a flirt?? he likes to talk to every person in the office.
Cutting off communication is never a good way to encourage guys to get closer to you. Remember, guys are sensitive and many have fears of rejection. So it’s not a surprise that he backed off. If he made you feel special, go ahead and tell him and apologize for making him feel rejected. He may not know what to say at that point. After all, relationships at work can have all sorts of taboos connected to them. Until you can get over your shyness enough to have a conversation this one will be tough to fix
So there’s this guy at my school. He is a part of my close group of friends yet he and I aren’t very close. We’ve known each other for four years. Towards the end of sophomore year of high school we began to exchange glances and little subtle flirts. When ever it’s just he and I alone we tend to move closer into a relationship and does little things that show his interest like holding my gaze or glancing at me out of the corner of his eye or lingering touches. BUT as soon as there something disrupts the vibe, like the bell ringing or going back to school we go back to semi ignoring each other. I try to avoid him now because I know he’s going to flirt then act like we’re not very close. If it helps any he used to think his best friend likes me, but that was months ago. I know I can’t just be his friend so I try not to get to attached. I worked so hard to get over my feelings for him and I finally did, but the past two days he has started to flirt again and I can’t get him out of my mind AGAIN. It’s been three years of the same cycle and I feel like I’m no longer scared to confront him about it, but I want to know if I should even waste my time. Does he actually like me or does he just use me to play a little game every now and then?
Sounds like he’s not ok with letting people know he’s into you! He’s gonna continue the game until he’s pushed against the wall. So I’d bring it up and see what his response is and if he changes his ways. If he doesn’t, let him go and quit with the games.
Hi Mrs. Brown,
I have a very huge crush on the boy in my theater 3 class. We are in high school and I’m black and he’s white. I asked him if he dates black girls and he said yes but he never have before. I wrote him a love letter and he told me he thought it was the cutest thing ever and he that he carries it everyday and that he was heartbroken and just wanted to be friends with me without a doubt. I catch him staring at me from across the room and as soon as I look at him he always looks away, it’s rare when our eyes would lock. He would start playful arguments with me and then would start a short conversation after it. Every time on social media I would try to talk to him he would just read my message and i asked him about that and he said it was because he was “busy”. He have asked my best friends questions about me. He would always listen to my conversations with other people and would sometimes invite himself in. And he likes watching me twerk lol. But i really like him and he knows that but i don’t understand if he truly just wants to be friends or if he wants to be friends then try something later on relationship wise. But my question is, is he interested in me, and do i have a chance?
Sounds like you may have come on too strong with the love note and scared him. So if I were you’ I’d let this one go till he comes around. He just may but you’ve got to let him come to you.
Hi, I am rebecca and I am actually 12. I have this problem with this one boy. In first grade he called me pretty, and beautiful on Valentines Day. In second grade, he was in my class and we flirted alot, and he definitely was into me. In third grade, on valentine’s day he put a pack of lemon head candy in between my friends and asked who wanted it. (It was for me) when I was in fourth grade, I was on the monkey bars. I WAS upside down, he stood on the bars, and was looking right at me. In fifth grade I said that I liked him on a letter. This was in front of his friends, and he ripped it up:(. Things got wierd ever since that event. Last year in sixth grade, he looked at me ALOT and sits 1 table away from me at lunch. I once was getting books from my locker and there was no one in the hallway. He was coming out of the bathroom and was looking at me, and walking REALLY SLOWLY on the way to his classroom… creeped me out. This year, I see him look at me even more than ever and at lunch when I pass his table he takes a 10 second glance at me. Also I was out of the bathroom and there was a time-out sheet that we have to sign in the hallway. I didn’t see his name above and I was checking in, turned around and he was grinning and looking right into my eyes!! So scary. This is all that I have to say for now. Does he like me? To clarify I have a HUUUGEE crush on him. I liked him for 7 years. I think this is a problem. I just can’t get over him! He’s too perfect!
Yeah he probably likes you but guys just don’t know how to express it at your age. So don’t expect too much from him in the way of reasonable romantic behavior until high school. Even then guys can be real jerks!
So I just moved to a new state and new school a couple months ago and my first day this guy in my gym class asked one of the girls to give me his number. I didn’t take it because it was my first day and I thought he was just trying to get with me cause I was the new girl. But ever since then he’s stared at me almost everyday. We make eye contact a lot and he stares into my eyes for awhile but then just walks away to his friends. He tends to walk near me and when I turn around he looks at me then looks away. I’m not sure what this means. I see him and his friends will look at me sometimes while their talking but I don’t understand why
Well it sounds like he tried and you sorta rejected him right off the bat! Of course he likes ou. Guys like him just don’t know how to behave in person so texting is easier. If you’re into him, just get his number again! Know that if he’s not comfortable enough to come up to you in person that you likely won’t get much closer electronically and he’ll be just as weird. HAve you tried having a conversation with him?
hi traci i have a question i think i have a similar issue like everyone else i have a crush on a guy we dont know eachother but i catch him starring alot at me sometimes i would catch him secretly starring at me then if i notice he would look away at first i would walk on another side of the street to avoid but to me it could a coincidence but i started noticing he would do the same thing or it would look like he wasn’t looking at me but when i looked back where his friends was at he looked back to what i was looking at then one time i was outside and in a playful joking way he told me watch out for a dog by the way it was no dog when i looked up he stared smiling at me but im kinda shy so once he smile at me i hurried up and walked away but even after that he still stares at me but he hasn’t said anything else to me since just continues to stare does this mean he likes me or tripping PLEASE help me figure this out
Yeah he’s probably into you. Have you tried to talk to him?
Ugh this guy I like is extremely shy and I guess I am too. I sometimes feel like I catch him staring at me but idk because I feel like maybe it’s him sensing me staring at him. He doesn’t really talk to me cause he isn’t in any of my classes and he isn’t really in my social group. The problem is my friend told him I liked him and asked him out for me after I told her no. She said his ears turned bright red and that means he likes me but was to shy to say yes because he had some of his friends around him. I have no clue what to do when I go back to school after Christmas break cause I feel like things will be akward as far as I know he already knew I liked him and now it’s worse and I hate bothering him. Ugh what do I do!
This is a more complex situation than it needs to be! I think your best option is to just play it cool and let him come to you. If he’s staring it means you’ve caught his eye. But you don’t want him before he’s ready to take action towards you!
There is this guy in my class, initially his friend said that he likes me. I thought he is just playing around. But eventually i noticed his body language and i came to know that he likes m, by the time my friends also tease me with his name so eventually i started developing feelings for him. one night at my friends party i got so drunk that i screamed and said that i like him too and his friends were there but he was not so after that night he came to know how i feel about him from his friend. So now i don’t know what to do next. i am kind of embarrassed of myself. i want to talk with him desperately but i am shy too. help me.
Ok so here’s the deal. Someone has to make the first move. If nobody talks to anyone, nothing will happen. Forgive yourself. Get your guts up. Go talk to him.
Hi Mrs. Brown, i have a problem with this boy i’m 17 years old now! There is a guy that i like since i was fifth grade… When both of us in fifth grade i really want to close with him but he ignore me back then eventho he knows that i really like him and when both of us in 9th grade i ignore him because i don’t want to like him anymore but he always says hi to me and i always caught him staring at me. In 10th grade both of us started to talk..When i talk to him he always stare at my eyes and always tease. And then i don’t why i ignore him…After i ignore him both of us never makes a conversation anymore. When i was 12th grade he suddenly tries to be in the same group with me. His own classmates (girl) told me that he might try to approach me…But i just can’t understand him. Both of us never contact each other. There is once i tried to text him but he ignore my text..Is he try to approach me because he likes me or not? He is so mysterious. Sometimes i was so confused what is happening to him suddenly. What should i do? and what is this meaning? I can’t run from him anymore eventho i tried to ignore him..Sorry for my bad english! Because i’m an asian 🙂 i hope you can help me!
It sounds like you two just take turns ignoring each other! If you’re into him, just go over and ask him out for some coffee. Quite with the ignoring. Quit with texts. Just have an in person grown up conversation! Let me know how it goes.
So there’s this guy in my class at school, I didn’t really think about him liking me at all until today. We had assigned seating and he was pretty fidgety around me. He talked to his friend across the table fine but he looked really nervous, even worse than usual because he’s just a relitivly shy person. When we went on the floor for rhetoric, he sat beside me, but kept his distance, I also caught him glacing at me a couple times when we were sitting in class. Then, during lunch, our small class sat at the same table but I was a little late coming in. When I got there, I was kinda excited because the two boys in our class were sitting with all us girls. I had to sit next to him since it was the only seat left, not long after that though, they both moved to another table. Are any of these things signs he likes me? It would be cool to find out, even though I don’t really like him back.
Sounds like he may have his eye on you but I don’t really have enough info to make a good diagnosis.
I don’t know if this guy likes me anymore because my situation is that he used to like me but then he just stopped talking to me. My friend asked him why and he said that he didn’t care for me anymore for me. But nowadays I catch him glancing at me and I don’t know what to think, does he still like me? Is there a reason for him to tell me that but his actions tell otherwise? Please help
GUys do that kind of thing all the time. Believe their actions, not their words! He’s probably just not secure enough with himself to admit it or do anything about it! If you like him, make yourself a little bit more available and see if he’ll give you any more glances. Then you’ll know.
Hi Traci! I really liked your article (: I would love to have some of your insight about this guy I’m friends with at uni.
We met at the start of last year but he was kinda quiet so we only started talking around may/june and it was mainly just texting (he was the one who initiated our convos most of the time). We never really talked much in uni because of the lack of shared lectures (diff. majors) so we sort of lost touch for about 3 months till he started texting me again last november, and from then till now we’ve grown much closer. We’ve only started hanging out outside of uni recently (just as friends as he knows I’m already attached) because we were both swamped with exams and family holiday plans so I it may just be that I don’t understand him well enough yet, but his body language gives me the vibe that he’s sort of closing himself off to me? For example, he tends to angle himself sideways when he’s sitting directly opposite me and he doesn’t make much eye contact, but at the same time he seems to have a lot to contribute to our conversation and he laughs a lot too; so rn I’m feeling pretty confused. I know this isn’t romance-related but do you think you could help me out? He’s a pretty good friend and we share similar social circles so I really want to keep my friendship with him. Any advice?
This is an unusual one. Sounds like he may be trying to make sure you don’t want to start up a romantic relationship with him! That’s my best guess given what you’ve said. I wish I could see him in action!
Hi! So I really like this guy from my church and I have this feeling that he likes me back but I’m not sure because he hasn’t made a move yet. I met him a couple of months ago when I walked out of service and saw him standing there with his nephew and we immediately locked eyes. I then walked outside and was standing talking to my friend and he later came outside and was talking to someone but the whole time he was staring right at me! At youth group he would stand and talk to his friends but out of the corner of my eye I can see him constantly looking at me! His friend also kept looking and smiled at me once, so if he likes me then his friend knows. And when I’m standing and talking with my friends, the guy I like tries to walk right past me on purpose.
I was also at a coffee shop once when he came in with his friend. They chose a table near us and he purposely sat facing me. We left earlier than they did and when we were leaving, I turned around and made eye contact with him because he was watching my friend and I leave. There has been so many glimpses, stares and eye contact interactions that I have a feeling he likes me, because his body language kind of gives it away! It’s just been several months since I have met him and he hasn’t made a move yet. I think a reason is that he is a mature guy and he’s not a flirt, but he’s also shy.
What are your opinions on this? Do you think he likes me?
He’s got his eye on you but doesn’t know what to do about it yet!! Generally with this kind of guy, you’ve got to let him come to you and just have casual conversations, slowly reeling him in. Guys do like the chase so let him but you’ve got to bring him close enough to do it!
OK there’s a shy guy at my workplace , he has been staring and also smiling at me since the day he started working at my job. Every morning we have a meeting, he always comes in and stand near where I’m standing but never says anything. I’m always the one that usually has to speak first but he surprised me a few days ago and he actually spoke to me first for the first time. He has no problems having conversations with other co-workers but when it comes to me he can barely look at me or be near me when we talk. When we do talk it’s brief because he’s so shy and quiet around me. Lastly, when I walk by him when he’s talking to male co-workers they always look at me then look at him and smile. I find this guy very attractive but I would like to get to know him. It’s hard since he’s so shy and quiet with me is there anything I can do to get him to open up to me and talk more?
The best thing to do in this situation is to just strike up casual conversations. Don’t make any overt moves, but you’ve got to bring him close enough to you to know that you don’t bite. So just be cool, chat him up and let him get comfortable. Let me know how it goes!
Hi Traci,
I’ve a little bit of a strange situation in that I’m a gay 32yo man and a co-worker of mine is a 27yo gay man (though I don’t think he’s very open about it). I had a crush on him most of last year and finally plucked up the courage to go chat to him at our Christmas party which was cool though we all got a bit drunk after that so my memory is a bit hazy but I’m pretty sure we talked and that was my interaction for the night apart from sharing the dancefloor. I added him on Facebook that evening and he accepted the next day.
Just before Xmas I emailed the guy to see if he’d like to grab a coffee and he said that final week of work was crazy, so maybe the Friday or after we got back from the break. I just left it and happened to find myself at some work drinks with a colleague the final day of work – I forgot to pay for a coke when I left and it turns out my crush knew the barman so that had been a free round. When I text back my colleague “Oh thanks Joe Bloggs!” she must have passed that on as he told my colleague “Tell him he owes me”.
He comes up to my floor sometimes for lunch with a female co-worker of his and visits other people he knows in my team quite frequently but hasn’t really talked to me. Even before I’d asked him for coffee last year, whenever we would pass each other coming through the doors of the floor at work when I’d lock eyes with him he’d immediately look down and away from me, and so I did the same (I’m generally really shy about this kind of stuff).
On my second week back at work I decided that, because we’re both guys it’s unclear who should make the first move, and if one of us doesn’t ask the other out then it would never happen so I just embraced my “no fear this year” motto and emailed him. On the Monday I asked about his holiday break and mentioned that my colleague had told me I owe him a drink, so wondered if he was available on Wednesday for a drink after work. He replied, told me a little about his break and said he probably couldn’t do after work on Wednesday but could do a lunchtime coffee. I suggested the cafe downstairs in our building or another coffee shop round the corner (in case he wanted to be closer to work to escape if he wasn’t interested) but he chose the one round the corner.
Anyway, Wednesday arrived and he emailed an hour prior to ask if we could move the coffee to 12pm instead of 12.30pm (which had been the time I originally proposed until he’d asked if 12.30 was okay). I agreed to this, but at this point I think I treated that as a red flag and wondered if he had somewhere to be or had arranged something else – it later turned out a mutual friend and female co-worker had asked him if he wanted to grab lunch as I hadn’t told her I was going to have coffee with him and he just said to her he had a meeting.
So we caught up for coffee, I asked what he wanted and paid (had his wallet out but didn’t hesitate on letting me do that) which normally I find people do if they want to make it clear they don’t have any interest. The conversation was generally good, a few awkward pauses but nothing like a terrible coffee date I had a few years ago. I occasionally noticed him folding his arms, this didn’t last long, but I was paying attention to body language so that freaked me out a little as my last horrendous dating experience was a coffee date that someone did out of obligation because they couldn’t just say they didn’t like me that way.
He stretched out his arms and fidgeted with his hands, we joked and laughed and smiled at each other about quite a few things during the coffee, he also gave a few personal stories – after I embarrassingly confessed my love of the Spice Girls, he admitted his sisters used to make him dress up as one. I mentioned moving house to the suburbs, he asked about houses being adjoined out there and then said “probably not, stupid question really, wasn’t it?” and we laughed, I said some of them are to make him feel less silly about that.
The thing is, it was only a 30 minute coffee so once we’d finished our drinks we headed back to the office. Once we got back into the building, he said he was going to wait downstairs for his friend and I immediately went into shutdown mode “crap, he only planned 30 minutes for this, he’s not interested at all, he was just having coffee to be nice instead of liking me or being interested at all” and so I just said “see ya later” and he did the same – though I’d pretty much headed off and bolted for the elevators by then in rejection mode.
He came back up to our floor for lunch with coworkers on Thursday and I didn’t realise he was there or would have gone into the kitchen and greeted them at least. However, I happened to be coming back from the bathroom and passed them leaving the floor after their lunch. My co-worker said hi, but he did the same thing as before we had coffee – saw me, looked down and away – apparently I did that too as my female co-worker knows I like him but he doesn’t talk to her about dating or anything like that. She said we both acted like shy people who like each other, but I’m not really feeling confident she’s right about that without the context of everything else.
Here’s the problem though – if it’s two shy guys, and I’ve made the first move, should I just leave it up to him now? Maybe wait a while and invite him to my flatwarming with other work folks or something low pressure? It’s kinda been radio silence since coffee and we don’t have each other’s cell numbers so I’m guessing I just need to be around – i.e. visit my mutual friend co-worker and be friendly/open around him? I had sort of expected him to just say no to a drink and put it off, but him offering a coffee and when he could do it confused me into thinking he might be interested. Maybe I got the wrong idea there?
Sorry for the essay! I don’t date much as it messes with my creativity as a writer and so rare that I get crushes, so would love any advice or thoughts on what this sounds like to you?
Ok so you’ve got several factors at play. First, it sounds like he’s not so open about being gay. @nd, you’re at work and went for coffee near work. He may not be ok with making that kind of scene around co workers. So I think just making him comfortable around you is the first step. Your housewarming party is a great thing to invite him to. Anything meeting away from work may cause him to open up a bit. Since the typical male/female dynamic is not at play here I don’t tell you if you should be more aggressive. Part of me thinks that you just go for what you want and be forward, the other part thinks that may scare him off. I think the key is to just find something fun to do where you both can be yourselves and quit with all of the nervousness that being together may create.
Thanks so much for the quick response Traci, yes I was thinking that may be a good idea because I find the pressure and nerves of dates early on a bit crippling myself especially when it’s a physical attraction that you’re trying to look past to get to know the person a bit (I’m not all that comfortable with being gay either and so I think he and I have a similar mindset).
I figured that kind of a social group gathering where we can still be around each other and talk to each other, but have other friends around to create fun conversation would be a good next step – and could be a segway to just falling into friendship if there’s no interest romantically (have been working at keeping my expectations in check so that it could go either way).
I’m sure nobody envies being gay, nobody teaches you to do this dating stuff growing up! Haha. Thanks again!
I have a bit of confusion going on in my life right now! I moved into my new apartments. I love to go to the gym and workout. I started to notice this guy but didn’t think anything of it. come to find out he is my neighbor. as time went on I noticed he was always where I would be like in halls or gym or getting home from work at same time. At the time, I thought what a coincidence. it wasn’t until he had this intense stare in the stairwell that I realized we could be into each other. I never had someone stare at me the way he does. now I feel that I might have been giving him the cold shoulder or so he might think. I haven’t seen him around and I cant help to think if he gave up. the last time I ran into him I decided to say Hi! He replied with a soft good afternoon. I am not sure if he is really into me and why hasn’t he made a move?
Guys like him are usually just afraid of failure. That’s why they don’t make a move. So any little incident where you even sort of turn them down can make them run. But any little incident where you are open can change the tides. So when you see him again just be casual but keep chatting him up. Eventually he’ll know that you’re safe and will open up a little more.
Hi,
This guy is tough. I have not seem him too much to chat him up. the few times I have seen him, I would say good afternoon or hi. He replies but that’s it. Last week he did say good afternoon to me but when I looked at him he wasn’t giving eye contact. He kind of looked scared of me or something. At that moment I backed off. I see that he is in the military and he leaves every weekend. the whole reason I didn’t notice him in beginning is because I thought he has someone ( due to the fact he goes MIA on weekends)! He obviously is not interested anymore or I just read his signs wrong. I’m not sure which direction to take now!
Let him come to you. Leave the door open and everything but guys need to like you enough to take the risk to take the lead. You don’t watn him before he’s ready. And it sounds like you k now he may never be ready. So keep looking around, too!
Hey Traci,
It’s Ray again. Your advice was amazing! funny thing, the same day I confided in you I saw my neighbor. He reached out and asked me how I was doing. I replied and we both went our ways. I think he is becoming more comfortable with me! While he is becoming comfortable, I am becoming more nervous. I am really interested in him but cant seem to have enough will power to make the first move. Yesterday when I got home from work I saw him walking. He was stretching in front of our building. I went to check the mail then headed up to stairs when I saw him waiting at the platform. I started smiling inside but froze up and hoped he would say something. He let me pass him but it was dead silence. I don’t want him to give up because he is shy. Now I figure that I need to just tell him I’m nervous around him and that I appreciate him being so polite. I never approached a guy I liked to start a conversation, so its little intimidating. I can really use your insight! I hope his feelings are not hurt….
Ok Ray I think you need to quit thinking this is an all or nothing deal. Just be friendly like you would with anyone else. Don’t screw it up by not talking when you’re around him! You may end up dating, you may not so just know that going in. Write yourself up a lot of things to talk about if you need to so you do my freeze up. Gems a military guy right? So you should have a long list of things to talk about right there. Remember be casual and interested. Ree him in and let him make the first move.
Hi Traci,
I have a quick question? How can you tell if a guy is married? For example, my neighbor, he lives across from me and I have never seen a women since I lived there (DEC-Now). I have not seen a ring either but the weekend “getaways” are little weird. I have a friend of a friend that thinks she knows him and says he is married. I am not sure to listen because we have been getting more talkative. I really want to back out of trying with this guy after hearing this.
First, look for a tan mark or an indentation of a ring on his finger. Then if the subject comes up, you’ll want to be keen to the signs of lie detection. I just released my 21 day body language makeover on youtube for free. There’s 3 videos about lying there. Look it up!
Hi Traci so my crush happens to be a 8th grader i’m a 7th grader he looks a lot at me and looks nervous he sands behind me close and then in front of me close he has his legs spread apart and his hand on his hips his feet are pointed towards me when ever he looks at me he quickly looks back when i catch him looking he also blushes at me What does this mean
and should i make a move or should I wait for him to
Sorry for the misspelled words, Ellen
Sounds like he’s into you. Guys at this age just don’t know what to do with their feelings. I’d wait for him to come to you and make a move. If you make the move it will certainly fail because he’s not ready.
Thanks Traci
Hey traci..its zammy again…this guy in my office whose been stalking me for quite some time now is still not giving up to give me signals that he is interested and I should come and talk to him. I was so shy to talk to him because I had got this huge crush on him ever since I joined office. I was blown away because he is so handsome. I used to shy away or get nervous whenever he used to be around or he used to try to talk to me. I tried to avoid him many times but he didn’t gave up. He kept trying and made me fell in love with him. He gives me stares very lovingly as if he loves me too. He looks at me and Whenever I catch him looking at me he looks away. Lately I took up courage to go and talk to him to overcome my shyness and we had a good conversation. I also gave him a sign that I like him and care about him. But one thing i don’t understand is he doesn’t ask anything about me except my office work. He seem to answer every question I ask about him but he doesn’t ask me about my life. So I just get confused as to whether he is really interested in me or he just need to pass time in the office staring and looking. Also I am waiting for him to ask me out and he hasn’t still done that neither has asked me my phone number or is he just too shy to do that. I don’t want to make the first move being a girl. Do I need to be patient enough, wait more? Sometimes its confusing to read his behaviors. We don’t get to talk in the office much since we work on different projects. It’s just that we bump on each other in the cafeteria or kitchen area in the office or just say ‘hi’ whenever we just pass by but our eyes says it all. He seem to be an outgoing person and talks to everyone in the office. He used to be around me whenever I used to be there in his area just to make me feel that he wants to be near me. He has asked me twice that if possibly I can be on his project.
This one is interesting. Often I’ve learned that guys who are quite nice looking can be self absorbed and as a result don’t think to ask you about your life. So you may want to take that as a hint about who you’re really dealing with. The other challenge is that you’re at work and there can be a taboo about being open there and starting any kind of relationship. SO I’d wait for him to ask you out. Keep your feelings in check but be kind and open. If he comes around that’s great and if he doesn’t know that you can do better with someone else.
Hi Traci, Its SFAF again. Currently I am quite confused what to do. one week after the smile incident, she saw me working with my team leader. She walk past me very fast though i was not even staring at her. I don’t know why did she act this way. I got quite upset regarding this incident.after that i tried to avoid as much as possible. 2 weeks after she was staring at me and I took my eyes away. I was totally ignoring her cause i thought she doesn’t like me and I am kind of bothering her. Suddenly she start acting so rude to me. I do not know why she was doing like this. then again we were about bump on each other, somehow i was able pull myself back and said sorry to her.Before Christmas holiday, her boss came over to me and asked me whether i am working in christmas break. In reply I said i am going work in this christmas break with few of Co-worker. She was watching me and said that everybody is working next week. I guess she was trying to get me into the conversation. I do not understand her properly. other day she saw me helping one of my co-worker, she walk past me. she was giving me a very angry look . why she was acting like that i do not know. then i went for one month off from work, i thought i will get rid of my feelings for her but couldn’t. after returning back from holiday, she is acting very differently. i am quite confused. I will approach her very soon, I . need Your advice
I think she doesn’t know what she wants. That explains the shifts in behavior. I’d approach her very gently and without any expectation. Until she’s ready you’re going to keep getting mixed signals. The bottom line is that you deserve more than that!
Hi Traci, it’s Anna again! I was the one who asked you about the guy from my church who has his eye on me. Anyways, so a few days ago at youth he walked past me and we both made eye contact and I said hi because I didn’t want to be rude and look away, and he said hello and it seemed like he wanted to shake my hand but he didn’t. It was weird, because that was the first time we’ve really spoken to each other since I haven’t actually talked to him before, I just see him around. Does this mean anything?
Wake up!! If he’s talking to you and you’re into him, you better talk back!! This is a great sign. Now don’t blow it. Just be your normal, sweet self.
My crush does some of those things! When we talked today during lunch, the few times that we did at least, he would stare intently at my eyes when I spoke (to him directly, of course), but then he would also look away a few times before looking back. He would also be facing me even if he’s not talking to me. He was also pretty joke-y today, too, something I don’t think he is too often (he’s a serious person). Our English teacher said she even noticed a change in him ever since he and I started talking again. He said “I was sad when we stopped talking last year. When we started to again this year I became happy again. So, yes I’m very glad we’re friends.” and he also said “You are a great person and I would be upset if we lost each other again.” This crush of mine also happens to my “Ex-boyfriend.” Also, one of my friends sat with us during lunch today and whenever he DID ask her questions, he would barely look at her. It was mostly his friend and I that he talked to. So, do you think it’s possible he could still like me? Oh yeah, he also knows that I like him, I told him about the second week we started talking again. He told me he needed time and etc.
Yes he probably likes you. He just doesn’t know what to do about it. SO keep being your sweet self and he’ll come around. But don’t wait for him. There are other fish in the sea!
Hi
So I have liked this guy since seventh grade. We are in twelfth grade now. We started to stare at each other in seventh grade and then at the end of seventh grade he tried to talk to me. But I got scared and ran away. In the beginning of eighth grade he acted like I didn’t exist. But one day I caught him staring at me. And deja vu all over again! Him and I would stare at each other. He tried to make my jealous with this girl. He would hug her and look directly at me. Held hands with her once while walking by me. But looking at me as he walked by. After that he then tried to talk to me the last day of graduation. He waited for me, however, I was to shy. High school began and like always he begins the year like acting as if he never knew me. But the minute I make eye contact, it starts with him staring at me and him dressing in a similar fashion as me ( I wear t-shirts and jeans. Usually consist of colors such as black, white, gray, dark gray, purple and sometime blue.) he in away copies the similar clothing that I wear. Identical colors and shoes and the outfits. But in guy clothing!!! Not girl clothing! In ninth grade he tried to ask me to the winter formal. But once again I got scared and ran away. 10-11 same things would happen. Him staring at me, dressing in a similar matter as me. Then 12th grade and things have completely turned. Beginning of school he didn’t ignore me. He immediately started the staring and waiting after school for me and dressin in a similar fashion. Well today I got up the guts to hand him a note confessing my feelings. Before I even gave him the note, he looked up to me as I was speaking and turned bright red and this eyes dilated! The only problem is I screwed up by talking really fast and freaking out!! I don’t know what to do. In the note I didn’t include my phone number or anyway to contact me. And I am so scared of him rejecting me.
He’s been after you for years and you’re scared he’s going to reject you? That’s doubtful. Just get him your number. And don’t be scared when he calls. Just go out!!
Well, hi thank you for writing me back
Well, the next day while walking in the hallway where My crush and I always pass each other, My crush apparently saw me and bolted inside a classroom. Which he never goes into a class maybe one a few times. But usually he walks right by me. (I use the word apparently because I didn’t see him bolt. I looked down for a min. And my two friends told me he saw me a bolted into Estrins room) so I felt like crap and even started crying. Not fun. So, then at lunch I saw him as I was walking down the ramp and I saw drew sitting in his car. And he was looking straight ahead towards the ramp and then as My friend and I got closer, Drew immediately pulled out of the parking space and then looked directly at my friend and I. I mean full on staring at us. Then as he was driving by his head turned towards us. And shouted something out the window. I didn’t hear what he said. I think he said “don’t go” (But his friends were walking down the ramp. But he never says anything to them usually when going to lunch. But I swear to God he was looking directly at me. But the son of a bitch had sunglasses on so I couldn’t tell where his eyes where but his face was looking directly at me. I feel like he was mocking me. Well then, yesterday in math class he completely ignores me. He doesn’t look at me. He didn’t even glance at me. I feel horrible. I feel like everything was in my head and I don’t what to do. Then today I saw him and he looked down when he saw me. When he doesn’t look down when he sees me. He looks at me and quickly looks away. Was it all in my head?
It probably wasn’t all in your head. But the bottom line is that he’s acting like a jerk and you deserve way better than that. So let him go and focus on someone who’s going to treat you right.
Hi Traci! So there is this guy that I work with, well sort of. I work around him but we both work at the mall. He’s the head of security and I work at one of the stores. He has let me see him checking me out multiple times and he stares at me from across the mall alot. We had a meeting for the mall employees like a month ago and I walked in with a friend on mine and as soon as I sat down I watched his whole body turn to face me and his legs spread apart to show “the goods” but before the meeting started he was talking to one of his coworkers and staring at me the whole time, but when I looked at him he turned his head and then started looking at me out of the corner of his eye. Now my main issue here is we have barely talked to one another, only about work related issues and I kinda get the feeling he wants me to approach him but I’m really shy. Like at certain times I can be really confident but when it comes to a guy that I really like and I KNOW he likes me I get extremely shy. So how would I go about approaching him if that’s what he is wanting me to do?
If you want to talk to him, the easiest thing is just to say hi. Find something in common or funny to talk about. Like him being a mall cop or something. But know that if he really likes you, he’ll come and say something. Guys do like the chase so it’s ok to wait for him to come to you. He’s just got to decide that he really wants to. Approaching him before than may backfire. It’s a risk either way.
Hello Mam.. I am suffering from the pain of unrequited love atleast that’s what I know from what’s happening around me for at least 4 years. The guy whom I love actually knows about my feelings. When I came to know about this.. he would stare from far away.. our eye contact would be for so long as it was happening for hours.. but the problem was we never talked. Literally we never even said hi to each other. But to one of my friends he said that he loves his girlfriend. I was the least bit shattered that would be an understatement as to me the way his actions were, made me think otherwise. Yet I was happy for him that at least he is loyal to his girlfriend. I love him so much that whenever he would look at me which would be more than just looking.. I would cry. Every person out there always acted different whenever I was around him. One day I said to his best friend that tell him I don’t like him anymore. So stop staring or giving me looks. The next day the same guy keep on looking at my direction & me but I didn’t look at him once. It was numerous times. Mam to others I don’t know what are the rumors and why he tortures me like that. But it kills me as it gives me some least bit of hope yet I wonder what if he makes fun of me while doing this because I’m sure if he didn’t like me he would never give me those pained expressions. I’m so exhausted of all of this. I wanted to move on mam but he still weirdly looks at me as if all this is my mistake. I just want him to be Happy but aroung he becomes so self conscious so weird it makes me uncomfortable & people around me start looking at us. I really want to stop my pain but he can’t stop staring at me.. if not in front of me then he does that when I’m not looking.. please help stop this pain mam. I’m very depressed
He’s got his eye on you! Don’t be fooled by him having a girlfriend. The trouble is that he does have a girlfriend and he’s got to want something different before he lets her go. SO don’t make too much of it till he breaks up with her.
Hello mam, im here again!! I just want to move on, because i really like him. the way he acts around me gives me hopes, but i know he wont leave his gf for me even though he gets jealous when I talk to any guy or even say hi & Then those guys stop talking to me. He doesnt let me think otherwise. I seriously dont know what to do ma’am.
I’d like to know how things are going currently. My inclination is to just tell the guys you’ve been talking to about the situation and not to worry about him. Just being upfront can be a good plan and thwart any unwanted activity from him.
Hey traci…this is kind of heartbroken zammy again. If you can refer to January 29, 2016 at 7:32 pm post of mine that I had told you about this guy in the office who used to constantly stare at me. Me being shy had to overcome my shyness to talk to him, he seems to be an extrovert, talks to everybody in the office. A few days ago he invited me for coffee indirectly through an office colleague and after that I started going to his desk and he used to come to my desk to have a chat. Coffee was just an excuse, if I don’t go for coffee one day he told me that he calls me for coffee just to see me. We even exchanged some personal information about our lives like i came out of a broken relationship and he told me that he is not married and he doesn’t have kids. I also told him that i am a little older to him. He said that doesn’t matter to him. He used to ask me about my day, my friends, my weekend. He used to be caring like asking me if he can hold my bag. He said we can go for shopping as he was loosing weight and he wanted new clothes. He asked me if I can cook for him. He asked me if I smoke or drink which I don’t do. He used to observe every outfit I wear and even used to question me if I used to wear jeans suddenly on weekday. He used to enjoy drinking coffee together with me even after lunch. He even told me once that ‘When are WE buying a car’ and that he wants a new car. He used to come to my desk to share every detail about him like he went somewhere or he did something. He sometimes use to visit my desk just like that. He even used to say ‘goodbye’ if he had to leave home early and used to order me to go home and not to work late. And the day I work late he used to ask me the time I sat late in the office. I used to work late hours so sometimes he used to wait for me to finish so that he can give me a ride back home. We lived the opposite way but he used to come all the way to my home to drop me and while leaving he used to hug me. We even exchanged phone numbers and he use to sms. He even smsed me in the middle of night saying just ‘hi’ and wished me goodnite and sweet dreams without having any sex talk. Once he even told on sms that he wanted to hug me. We used to hold hands in the car. Finally one day we went to have coffee but preferred to sit in the car and he just grabbed me and kissed me. That was really a long one as if he waited for it for days. All this time I thought this guy really likes me since I never saw him doing all this with any other girl in the office. So after that kiss in the car he suddenly says that he has a girlfriend and he shouldn’t be doing this. I was upset on this because he never told me he had a girlfriend and nobody goes kissing around if you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend. He said that he still feels to kiss me if I allow him to. But I was so upset that I didn’t even allow him to touch me. I told him to leave me home and I didn’t speak to him for a day. Then the next day I went and confronted him as to why did he has to behave with me the way he did all this time. He said he was just being ‘friends’ and that we both are not on the same page. He is already in a relationship and he doesn’t want people in the office to gossip about me and him. All this time he made me feel like as if I am an important part of his life and suddenly he brokes my heart. Traci I don’t understand his behavior, what he wanted, did he really started to feel for me? Today We just had a final talk over this issue and I told him I don’t have a ride back home, he said he doesn’t want me to take a ride from somebody else and that he would leave me home. He had hell lot of work and wanted to sit late but still he wrapped up everything so that he could leave me home. In the car he told me that he wanted to keep things easy between both of us since we work in the same team and he doesn’t want to shit where he eats. And I shouldn’t be upset anymore. Though i acted as if I am not hurt and its fine for me but inside I know I am so shattered and heart-broken. While he left me he couldn’t move as if he never wanted to let me go. He waited till I stepped inside my house and he still kept waiting, I had to waive him and tell him to go. He was slowly moving his car as he never wanted to leave. I don’t understand this person traci. Whats going on? And what went wrong between the two of us? Though we belong to entirely different countries we hit it off quite well in the beginning. I don’t want to see his face ever again but its my bad luck that I have to see him every single day since we work in the same team and on the same floor and we see each other quite often. And everyday if I don’t go to see him he always visits my desk just to have a small chat to say ‘hi’ and ‘how was your day’ kind of thing as if he comes to my desk just to see me and my face. It sometimes looks like if he doesn’t see me he cannot work and I see him around me and my desk. That’s how I perceived things to be. I never wanted to get into all this mess in the beginning so I always avoided to talk to him but it was he who made up to this level just to get close to me so that I could open up to him and get close to him. Traci please please help me out of this situation, I was heart broken earlier and now this disappointment is just killing me.
He has proved that he’s a loser. You’ve got to decide the kind of people you want to be around. I’d just tell him to go away. no more chatting. No more coffee. Of course you have to see him. Just keep interactions to a minimum. You deserve way better than what he’s shown.
Hey traci, a few more things I forgot to mention that I saw a huge change in him ever since I joined office. Earlier i saw him flirty and he used to be all over the places flirting around but since a month and a half I see that he never talks to anybody like before especially girls and he is become very quiet which he never was and sticks to his cubicle. I saw him serious. He only come to my desk to talk. Also when he used to talk to me he used to look all over my face. I used to see his eyes dancing up and down my face and he also checks me out with the outfits that i wear. And he used to look at me very lovingly as if I don’t know what to say. These all things made me perceive that he likes me a lot. Now what i feel is may be he got attracted to me but suddenly he realized that he has a girlfriend and he has to stay committed to her so he decided to ditch me. What do you have to say traci??
you are probably right. And you deserve better. Guys like him deserve a kick in the nuts.
So hes been getting close to me and giving me looks does that mean anything?
Yep, he’s probably into you!
Hi, Traci.. thank you for such a helpful post. After i read your post, i think i still have some confusion.
So, there’s a guy at my new workplace. I’ve been working there for 2 months.
For couple days i worked there, i found out that he is a deaf and mute. And from what i see, he is also shy. We never really talk or interact. At first, I thought he was creepy. Because sometimes, i see him looking at me with a smile from across the room, like he can’t take his eyes off of me, but quickly look at somewhere else whenever our eyes met. And everytime we shake our hands, he’s holding gaze, and he held my hands a bit longer. Sometimes, he stand a little bit too close with me when we get in line to take our lunch. And he tend to stand tall with his hands on his hips when he notice me come inside the room. Our work mates also make jokes about us, because we both single and inexperienced. They once also ‘intentionally’ leaving us alone in the room (i thought so because they all gather at another place to do their work and seems really shocked when i found out they gathered there). And it was really awkward when we’re alone in the room. He was so quiet, and he’s not trying to make a small talks. He even avoid my gaze.
My college friends said that he wanted to talk with me, but too scared to start a conversation. They encouraged me to give him something, so i can talk to him. I’m a shy myself, so it takes so much courage to start a conversation. So, the next time, i gathered up all confidence, and give him 2 pieces of candy, hoping that we can talk more freely. He only said thank you and smile. At first, i saw him sit down while staring and smiled to the candy i gave him. Until the others came, brought and ate the same candy. Yes, i wasn’t gave it only to him, i gave it to all of my workmates to make it more subtle. For split seconds, I thought i saw him frown. And he put the candy inside of his bag. After that, He’s not looking at me anymore. He stared at the ground when we walking past each other at the hallway. And he turn around when he saw me. He shows his back to me, and only talk with the one who sit beside my desk. He completely avoided me. It went on for a couple days.
On valentine’s day morning, he gave all the co-workers chocolate. Except for me. But, he finally gave it to me when it’s time to go home and there’s no one else in the room.
After that day, i think he did smile a bit more to me, greet me cheerfully, sometimes he looked nervous around me (scratching/rubbing himself when we’re sitting next to each other, smiling sheepishly when i smiled at him, perspired) and did some chivalrous act (open/close the door for me, let me go down the stair first, lend me his book, or let me use the computer first when he’s using it). Sometimes he come near to my desk, do nothing and quickly walk away when i looked at him. And I found him really cute.
I think i started to like this guy. I want to talk with him. Befriend him, at least.
The problem is, he doesn’t really try to talk to me or interact with me, or getting to know me, but he talk to the others (Well, even if he talk to them mostly when it’s neccessary). Sometimes he gave me a cold shoulder and continue to his own business. Each day that passes, i feel that he’s a step far from me. I wondered what does he feel for me. Or what happened to us, really? And What should i do?
Please, help me out. Thank you. 🙂
(Traci, i’m sorry if this story is too long, i hope you don’t mind. Thanks a lot.)
The thing I don’t get here is that you say he’s a deaf mute but then he’s talking to people. But he’s acting just like a regular guy. Sounds like he just doesn’t quite know what he wants. SO you’ve got to wait till he’s ready and then he’ll act on it. You don’t want him before he’s ready
I don’t know if this goes with the topic but i just need some advice.I am in highschool I really like this guy hes 18 we have been talking to each other for 5 months it was getting close to prom and i told him to wait on me on monday but he didnt then on friday of the next week he decided to wait on me but he was staring at me and at the same time he was listening to music and looking at his phone so i walked by him he didnt look like he wanted to talk to me that bad enough so i went to class and he just walked off like he was mad the other days he was in my class because he has the same class as me but we are in it different hours he was acting very strange that week like i have never in my life seen a guy take 3mins just to put a five letter name on a piece of paper. Then to come find out my best friend told me in art class that hes talking to someone then on the 15th he some how asked out this stank that is clearly a hoe and spreading her legs on Instagram then i went to c lunch and he was staring at me like i did something wrong or that he hates me i havent said any thing but my question is should i talk to him and make sure he is okay or should I continue to say f@#$ you because i mean i told him my feelings and everything hes even told me maybe in the future but he said he wasnt ready for a relation ship but he could be in a relation ship with a hoe?
and after all that we had been through he decided to take a hoe to prom instead of me like why would he do this did he want to hurt me because he didnt even apoligize to me
He did you a favor. Sounds like he’s a jerk.
Hi 🙂 3 weeks ago this guy came around at college on friday im from the same.college as him i know him by sight haha. So i have work exp on a friday at college so i noticed him come on sitting at a desk infront of me with his laptop. As soon as hes coming in he has a quick glance at me ans goes to the infront and sits with his laptop. So obvsious i noticed as i carried on with my work tasks i noticed him glancing at me now and then 4-5 times as soon as i catch him he looks away soo fast! xD hes shy i knew then. Thats was then this happened for 3 days! Continous staring and glancing. Same place he sat and yesterday he deciced to sit a bit further away becauze i cant help not look at him when he looks at me haha. Then i fell for him because of the continuous eye contact. He came uo to the me at reception asking for his badge my work exp libarian gave it him i just looked hin in the eye for 4sec i coulsnt smile neither did he i tried to move myeyes off him i couldnt and him and i jst suddenly looked away and i dont wven know his name yet! ( 4thweek that was). Hes very quiet around me and he hascouple of girl mates he talks to he dont have much of guy mates never seen him hang aroubd with guys :/ . Anyways so eye contact never stops haha when i go closer to him my heart races he iganores me . Next day he came instead.of gng to his desk he went by the computers with his laptop on his lap! Usually u face to the computer so your back shows he did the oppisite i can see him fully taht way …maybe to see me secretly maybe bcuz i noticed alot or he thinks damn she might suspect?. My mate was there to i went to her ..hes in the same zone i couldbt look at him!! Tooo sshyy neither did he maybr out of shyness then he went away. I told my mates as im inexperinced with guys :/ they said he likes me i also have feelong he comes in to see me to glance. Hes always there where i am without a day miss. When i was doing my work i felt him looking at me for 3 sec i can tell he was looking i.. didnt look because i dudnt wabt to embaress him 🙂 i have a feeling he does like him but i cant stop thinking .:'( …. also he has his laptop and headphones in!! So how can i approach :/……also i remember that he had them.in front of my desk and i was talking to my libaraian cathrine 🙂 abt why do guys have lapyop why not computer its easier xD she knws i have a crush on him ahaha he immdently looked at me whislt headdphones in :/ werid he was a lil far too xD . Since he noticed me on the first 2 weeks glancng i thimk he fell for me first then i did….. 😀
Do you think he will think about me 🙂 what should i say when i approach im shy too
He’s got his eye on you! Just act naturally and find something to talk about that you have in common. If you freak out he’ll for sure walk away.
I had never attended big meetings, one day I happened to see my ceo who is so handsome. He made me go so crazy that I went for a big meeting which I was not supposed to attend. I sat diagonally opposite to him little far. I was observing him, I noticed him looking at every girl, making eye contact. At one point of time he looked at me, continued to look at me once in a while. I was so curious that next day also I attended meeting, and this day before the meeting could end in an hour he gave a continuous stare. I became conscious, anxious by his eye contact and immediately left the meeting. Eye contact weakens me, I become uncomfortable and shy. My colleague noticed this and asked if I know him as he gave a long stare. I said NO. Now I am confused if he is interested in me or if he was thinking of something deeply and starred at me coincidentally. Talking about body language, I could notice his fingers always going around his eyes. Now that my boss warned me not to attend big meetings as it is unrelated to me. Now I have no option to see him as I am just an operator. I am upset from few days. What should I do.
Charismatic people usually ride to be CEOs and eye contact is part of that. you’re going to put yourself thru lots of pain having a crush on your ceo. It’s likely that he’s not into you. So just let it this one go.
hi i meet one shy he , always text me but very rare to speak with me ,
when we meet in class he just talk to my friends and just ignore me like that
but when come to chatting he will send messages immediately and say that he not feeling well
one day i just ask him to buy drink , i didn’t except he the next day he buy and also i ask him to give his bottle to me and he gave it
I little bit confuse is it a friendship or what
he’s at least open to you but I don’t have enough info to make a meaningful comment.
Hello Mam, i really need your help. The guy whom you said that i shouldnt probably think abt him that much because of him having a girlfriend & Still staring at me & Messing with me around. He again got weird like he doesnt let me talk to any guy out there & Would probably stare at me and any guy from a far Moreover on my birthday, i came to his best frnd (a gal Who is my close frnd) to give her my Bday cake, I learnt from someone that he acted angry & Sad as i didnt came to him. Although she did ask him & Then he refused. He seems to look at me while talking to anyone & While i was sitting alone he would sit Here & There will talk to the person whom he is sitting with but will stare at me. I couldnt look directly into his eyes, i was just too shy & the next day, he acted angry, he never even once looked at me, he was sitting opposite of me bt kept on turning his face away & Suddenly I was about to cry i dont know why, he stood up and went outside. He just didnt care mam. Pls guide me!!!
He’s just playing games. You gotta ignore him.
So the shy guy I talked about finally talked to me! We were standing in a group talking and he stood next to me and later everyone left but he stayed and sat and talked to me for about 20 minutes about personal stuff and we got along so well! but then this girl who also likes him came and interrupted us and started talking to mostly him. After like 15 minutes she had to leave, and then shortly afterwe both decided to leave and he walked me out to my car and then went to this car (which he parked upstairs and I parked downstairs). So yesterday we were talking in the same group again and I wasn’t standing next to him because that girl that likes him stood by him. However she left the group for a few minutes and went somewhere and as soon as she left he moved closer towards me and stood right next to me. Then the girl came back and was talking to him. After a little bit he said he needed to leave and shook her hand and everyone else’s, but when he shook mine we held eye contact for about 3 seconds while still shaking my hand and I felt the look he gave me. What do you think about this whole situation? How should I deal with that girl who always gets in the way?
you’ve got to let him come to you. If he doesn’t see past this girl you don’t want him.
So I met this guy a few weeks ago at bible study. Things are good we connected easily, and so. I saw him that Sunday after and of course he’s working at church, so I went to go talk to him. We talked and then he wanted to go talk to my parents with me, so we did. Then that day he said that I should get involved and go to creative Wednesday night because he would be there, but I couldn’t go. Then every time I would see him at I would say hi and give a hug because he’s working and we would talk and give a hug bye. One day I was working with my team at church, and he went to talk to my parents even when I wasn’t there and asked about me, which is nice, he saw me and was twirling around me but I didn’t know he was trying to say hi. So to me it seemed that he was interested in me. The other times I saw him I decided that I wasn’t going to be the one to put the effort to say Hi because I want him to approach me, and today he knew I was there the whole time with my parents. He waited last minute to say hi to me and my parents. Obviously, I wasn’t having it when he said hi to me because he waited last minute. He looked back and saw my expression of like ” why are you saying hi now last minute when I was here the whole time ” expression. He didn’t seem to be happy I think about it, by the time he was coming back we were leaving. But when he said hi while walking and looking he seemed excited to say hi real quick and smiled, and he saw that I was like whatever about it because he could have said hi a while ago, even though he was working he could have done so
So I don’t really know what to think right now. Maybe I blew it, but I have been putting my effort on my side and I kinda want him to the do the same
Here’s the thing. Guy are going to come around or they’re not. You need someone to know that they want you and he’s not there yet if he’s not behaving in a stand up kind of way and treating you like a lady. So just keep being your sweet self. He’ll come around or you’ll attract someone who’s ready to play ball.
Hi,
I really need your opinion on this guy. This guy, lets call him A. So i really like A and we are pretty good friends. A sits behind me in English in school (im in highschool) and we talk quite a bit. Sometimes he asks me questions like how to spell words and stuff and my friends say that he tries to talk to you and have a conversation. I also have noticed that when i talk to him hes always running his hands through his hair, or fiddling with a pen, moving his hands a lot and he also speaks a bit faster when he talks to me. In Maths i sit on the right side of the classroom and i sit on the left on the other side of the room. I always see A looking at me and i nearly caught him but A looks down really quickly and starts writing while smiling. When hes standing alone and i walk past alone he looks at me walking past but doesn’t say anything. A few days ago he wasn’t here and he asked me when the maths test was and i had a pen in my hand so he held his hand out for me to write it down. When i held his hand he couldn’t like keep still and i saw A (from the corner of my eye) looking at my face the whole time while i was writing. Today, i was walking with him to science and i was asking how he was coz he looked a bit sad and A said he was fine just a bit tired, as we were walking we kind of separated while i went to my friends and he went to his because they called him. I still am a bit doubtful on whether or not A likes me back, all my friends say that he does but i just don’t really believe it! lol. In the playground he wont talk to me while hes with his friends he will just smile and say hi and all that but not a long convo, he also seems really fidgety. However, in english he will talk to me a lot and we do have a laugh together because we are pretty good friends.
I really want to get to like a close friend position with him but he sometimes is quite shy and distant at times but i dont know if its nerves. I mean, i see all these signs but i dont understand why he wont talk to me at break times but he talks to me so much in english. Is it his friends? Is it nerves? What do you think i should do? All my friends say that they always see A glancing at me but then looking away quickly. I want him and I to be close friends at least.
So yeah… I was wondering if you could help me out and tell me what i should do in order to have a better friendship with him and answer my questions…
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and i really hope u get back to me sooonn !! xoxoxoxoxoxo
the only thing you can do to be a better friend is just to be a better friend. Don’t try too hard, just be open and welcoming and treat him like you’d treat anyone else. He may like you but you’ve got to let him be confident enough to make the first move.
Hello Traci,
I appreciate your post about body languages and specifically shy guys.
I recently have a dilemma that I need to emotionally solve on my own.
I had a short term internship at a company, and there was this guy I was interested in. In the beginning, I only thought he was cute but nothing more than that. He works in a different department so we never had the chance to talk until my team leader introduced us to each other. I didn’t know his name but when I met him I just said hi and was being my normal friendly self. Yet, I noticed how he looked extremely nervous. I just thought maybe he was just an awkward guy in general. The next day I went to work and saw him naturally/ calmly chatting with a group of people. This kinda surprised me, but later I passed by him I smiled and said hi how are you? To my surprise he said hi really fast and quickly walked away.
The next day my team leader asked for us to have a conference meeting together, he came in and seemed normal and sat next to me. But then I noticed when he started talking he was extremely fidgety and wouldn’t stop moving. It made me kinda nervous watching him and it was just an awkward vibe. Then towards the end of the meeting he casually asked what our plans for the weekend was and my team leader said she will be going to the wedding, he then replied and said his girlfriend’s cousin was just proposed recently too.
Surprisingly, I found myself a bit disappointed. I tried not to think about it anymore. However, my team leader advised me to continue to go talk to him one on one now that I know him about our work project.
I realized I was quite attracted and perhaps curious as to why he was acting this way towards me if he had a gf already. However, trying to keep it professional, I set up a time schedule to meet with him about work in the office. I went to his cubicle and once again he was fidgeting and would not look at me when we were talking. He would stare at the computer screen and made sure there was this huge space between us. It almost made me die of awkwardness. Oh and not to mention when he did look at me his eyes were indeed dilated!!
The following week my team leader suggested me to make the last appointment with him for the project. I dreaded it but I had to force myself to go to his desk again. As I tried to be calm and casual about it, I noticed he was much more comfortable with me. He actually asked me how long I interned at the place and whether I liked the job etc. we had a good 20 minute normal conversation! The next week I went in the office and was super excited to see him again. I dressed up that day and since the project was coming to end, My team leader and I wanted to come over to talk to him about it. As we walked around the corner of his department, I really did not imagine but I noticed how he quickly looked away and act as if he didn’t see me. As we approached and talk to him he was fidgety once again, he was moving around and it almost made me so sad to see him like this. It was our last project together so I knew I probably won’t being seeing him anymore. Since the project ended, we will no longer meet and I know I should try to just forget that this ever happened. Yet, I will never know why he is acting like his, especially when he has a gf already. Since this is my first time to like a guy who has already has a girlfriend, it’s extremely difficult. I can’t help but wish other “what if’s.” What are your thoughts, Traci?
He’s only human! It sounds like he did his best to keep things classy and stay true to his girlfriend. I think he’s attracted to you but knows he can’t do anything about it. Would you want someone in his position to do otherwise? No. SO just let it go. There’s no what ifs unless you know he’s single.
So I’ve had a crush on a guy from work for a while. Like two years a while lol He left our work place for a new job and returned a year later. He’s known that I do and pretty much paid me no attention which was fine. Recently over the last few months. Since he’s come back Our relationship went from zero to sixty real fast. We never ever talked because I was way to shy to ever even try. He started talking to me more and more and more and more. I felt like he was coming up with stupidest things to talk to me. As time went by he would always be around and always initiate conversations. That he would prolong as long as he could. When he speaks to me even if others are around it’s like it’s just us two and no one else. I would avoid him not purposely but just because I was so shy. I felt like he was chasing me. The more I avoided him the harder he came at me. I started to finally loosen up around him. He is always staring at me across the room. Making it obvious where I could see him. He always looks me in the eyes while talking. Sometimes intense eye contact where I can’t anyway more and I have to look away. Other times he just gazes at me. Where I wanna laugh cuz it’s awkward. So as time goes by he has opened up to me sooooooo much!!! On his life plans and what he wants. He shares a lot of his personal feelings and thoughts with me. Question is why now? Why not then? Best part is as soon as I started feeling comfortable around him. He’s been acting distant and not ignoring me but I feel he’s avoiding me. Like I’m stressing him out or something? He came around to me. He kept poking at me and now this. I’m so confused? I’m feeling completely comfortable around him where now I feel like I’m the chaser lol He was so cool and confident and now he’s all shy and weird and mumbles when he talks to me in a very low soft voice at that. I can bearly hear him. When he looks at me it’s like he’s memorized. He’s so gorgeous I’m not gonna lie I can’t believe he would ever be in to me. My gut says yes but he makes no moves. I’m sure I’m leaving out some other key points out.
I’m guessing he just got scared with things going so well. Remember you’ve still got the work dynamic. And this could play a part in his behavior. It can be taboo or even against the rules to date at work and he may not want to risk that. All you can do is wait for him to come around. I know it sucks but he’s got to decide to be all in.
I finally talked to my crush, and things went better than I expected. he told me that he was shy and he kind of explained why things were so awkward. mid way through he asked to shake my hand I don’t know why he asked this but we just laughed it off, so we were going to exchange phone numbers but he insisted that he got mine instead and he also told me he would reach out. the thing is right after are conversation my phone started acting strange and I could not really get in contact with people this went on for about a week and I don’t know if he ever contacted me. I recently found got his number through a friend and I want to contact him, but I don’t want to seem like a creep since he never gave me his number directly.
Call him anyway. If you don’t, you’ll never get to continue things!
I have been going out with a guy for a few weeks now. We went on several dates: dinners, go bowling ( 6 to be exact)
We always have lots of fun but i feel there is something missing. It’s like he’s afraid to hold my hand or to hug me. He usually initiates the conversations and the dates.
He still didn’t make a move, i am starting to worry that he might just see me as a friend…
What do I do?
If he’s not making a move, that’s not a good sign. Generally, guys need to want what they want bad enough that they make a move. You might just want to bring up the subject and ask if he’s wanting to be just friends of what he’s thinking. It will be lots easier that way and save embarrassment.
Hi Traci,
I came across you’re while looking for some advice. There’s this guy on my job that in the beginning was saying good morning. Now he only says it whenever we pass each other. He holds the door for me and always asks how I’m doing. Whenever I’m in the break room I always catch him staring at me but when I catch him he quickly turns his head in the other direction. Plus whenever I’m in the lunchroom and he comes in he quickly turns around its like he is scared to be in a room with me alone. I really don’t know if I should approach him and introduce myself or if I should just wait for him to approach me. Honestly I really don’t know if this is a sign that he likes or not but I find myself being totally attracted to him and I think he feels the same. But we haven’t had a conversation as of yet. Help! I’m going crazy trying to figure out if he likes me or not.
Ok so he for sure likes you from what you describe. It’s tough because you’re at work and there could be several factors causing his behavior. He could be shy. Or he could be married. Or he could be worried about the dating at work stigma. So go ahead and introduce yourself but don’t have any expectations beyond that. he’s got to be the one to make the moves.
Hello mam, I have developed a crush on someone but the problem is I mean he is my senior, & He has teased me twice just to know my feelings!! He stares at me whenever we talk & Sometimes he would look at me with that serious expression when he is standing idle but by facing towards me. One day he just came right towards me when i was reading from my moBile phone. He came & Confirmed whether I was chatting to some guy or not!! Whenever he laughs in a group, he would first stare at me while laughing but for some reason now i cant seem to Look at him directly. Today also he first Called my name with that weird smile he gave me some work which meant i would work along with him & Another senior. He was giving me some weird looks but i Was constantly looking down. Then another senior came & Asked me to go to emergency. I smiled with that relieved expression, & Said that i wasnt feeling well, but i can do your work. And after that he didnt do anything!!! I mean there was a time, he wouldnt want to leave my sight & Try to remain in my line of sight. But, now its different like on purpose he didnt look at me while he was going. It felt painful. I dont know what should i do!! Please help
So what exactly does senior mean? Is he your boss? Sounds like he likes you but can’t be really forward about it. I need a few more details & specific questions to give you real advice
He is a postgraduate in paediatrics and I’m a graduate of MBBS currettly studying for my PG specialization.
Hey i have a question about this guy that i like and i want to know if he likes me back tracy if you have an answer can you email me at samuelsmirisa@gmail.com i would love your feedback well there is this guy at school that i like and one day i was at pe and i went towards the crowd he was hanging out with when i went over there he was with this other guy and they were talking but i couldnt hear them then all of a sudden he just stood up an left he walk past me i looked at him and he didnt look at me tho directly just lke from the side of his eye i kinda think this guy is attractive hes not popular or anything but im not really the type of girl that goes for that type or anything. I like people of there personality and if they look decent but anyways i havent known him for to.long but one day at pe we were palying ping pong together and i dropped the ball and he handed it to me and our fingers touched. But idk if that means anything amd one day at pe everybody was playing football and he like ran straight into me idk if that means anything but i do have a crush on this guy and i just want to know like how to tell if hes into. Me or not so please email me if you can
Know that guys will treat you like the lady that you are when they’re ready to be the man you need. Running into you in football isn’t the thing that gentlemen do. There’s probably not much to the ping pong ball handoff either. Let this guy go until he’s ready to be a man.
Hi Traci,
I came across your article and I am looking for some advice. A few months ago I was waiting at a platform for a train when a gorgeous gentleman came and stood next to me. I didn’t notice when he arrived but he was standing next to me; staring straight ahead when I tried to look at him. I didn’t think anything of it so I walked further down the platform and when I stopped walking I noticed the same gentleman had followed me and again stood next to me. I tried to make eye contact but again he was staring straight ahead. Anyway, the train arrived and as it was rush hour I was not going to get on the train but the gentleman asked me if I was getting on, so I said yes and got on the train. I turned towards him on occasions trying to initiate eye contact with him on the train but he seemed preoccupied with his phone. We were holding the same handrail when our hands touched. I definitely felt something I wanted more of but don’t know if he felt the same. He needed to get off the train so we engaged in some light conversation and a joke before he did and I am kicking myself that I did not give him my number. I saw him again a couple of weeks later when we boarded the same train, we could not take our eyes off each other and I know he was staring at me even when I was not staring at him and I can honestly say that there was an undeniable attraction between us. We did not engage in any conversation as we were standing at different sections of the carriage and I got off the train. I saw him recently and when he saw me he turned around and walked away. I am not sure what this means and why he is acting in this manner from how he was initially. I have not stopped thinking about him since I first saw him and would love to get to know him but he has seen me a couple of times and walked away. I am wondering whether I need to cut my losses or ask him outright why when he sees me, he turns around and walks away. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks
Oh wow this sounds like a movie! Here’s my take on it. Guys have to be really ready to make a move. They risk a lot of rejection when they do. You don’t know him or his situation he could be married or have a girlfriend or engaged. SO the best things for you to do is take all expectations off of the situation. BUT that doesn’t mean you should talk to him next time you see him. Just don’t get all caught up in it. Just say hi and be your usual alluring self and attract him in. If he never makes a move, that’s what’s meant to happen.
Thank you Traci for your reply! 🙂
That was my intention for when I next saw him, but he couldn’t get away from me quick enough so I unfortunately did not have the opportunity to say ‘Hi’. It’s just so frustrating as I know I have had chances to talk to him but because I am shy (which I am trying to overcome) and feel someone as gorgeous and handsome as him could never be interested in someone like me, it kind of puts me off approaching him. If I see him again and he doesn’t run away, I will say ‘Hi’ and will have no expectations of what may or may not happen.
Hi Traci! I have a question about a man that I work with. I have worked with him for about 6 months now. He has always been nice and not just to me but to everyone. I was in a relation ship when we first met but it ended a few months ago. He is married but his wife has an addiction problem that is so bad he is seriously contemplating divorce. He is a Christian person and I know this is hard on him. My relationship ended because of terrible circumstances and it has sort of given me and my coworker a common bond. He has started talking to me more. I find him coming up to me a lot more than normal and he has began to ask me questions like did you do anything fun this weekend or do you have any plans for the Holiday weekend. Weeks ago he would just say Good morning or see you tomorrow. He has talked to me about his wife’s problem.I am several years older than him and I am having a hard time believing he could be interested in me. One day we were talking about drinking wine and he said I bet you get carded all the time because you don’t look your age. I just shrugged that off as he was being polite.Then the other day he was in my department and I was close to him and he put his hand on my back as he was going around me. The next day we were in a similar situation and I put my hand on his back as I maneuvered around him. After it happened I couldn’t believe I had done it. It was like I didn’t even know I was going to do it and it shocked me, maybe even embarrassed me a little. I still didn’t think anything much because our space was confined. Then I had to walk to his office to give him something and he came out of the office and I handed the folder to him and he touched me on the arm in front of other women in the office. It was so unnecessary. I am wondering if he is just being polite because I am older or if there is something there. I work with other women my age and I don’t see him doing that at all. I am 49 and he is 35. I do look younger than my age but I don’t know. He also introduced me to his daughter the other day. I do think I was the one that started talking so much to begin with but now he seems to initiate more conversations. Please tell me what you think. Thanks!
Ok so you’re single and he’s not. Sounds like a common hardship is bringing you together. That’s not always bad but here’s the bottom line. Make sure that he’s 100% divorced before you go any further than friends. If he’s not you are risking being heartbroken. Situations like this will never work out in your favor. I think he’s for sure into you. Just set yourself up for long term success if you want to go farther.
It’s like he is not exactly my boss. He is a post graduate in paediatrics whereas I am a graduate right now only in MBBS. I had a training going on with him for some time.
Hello mam it’s me again.. I did something like my training with him just finished a week ago. I had his cell number to which he would always ask me whether I had saved his number whenever he would give me some work. The worst part happened I acted upon my feelings and messaged him just a medical humor to which he replied question marks and I answered its me maitreyi.. and this was meant to be a joke he replied yes speak I said nothing .. I just wanted to send u a joke.. he said Ohh I thought who messaged me I hadn’t saved your number I replied it’s ok !!! After a day.. I again send him a joke. And then again. Total 3 messages . He saved my number!! I felt anxious like he might have done that because I was being annoying I was scared. I decided to ignore him.
But then he updated his what’s app status the next day in the evening which was (yeah you~ the one reading my status get lost) I felt like it was for me so I impulsively messaged him with status??! Should I? Ok I will!!! He still didn’t reply and he even changed his status in the next afternoon. And my number was still saved in his contacts
But all this was irritating me so I finally messaged him this time
( sir.. I’m sorry that I’m messaging you at this point of time. Also I apologize to you for being obnoxious and really annoying. It might be related to that status. Please don’t misunderstand me of any sorts. I didn’t mean to bother you and no need of you to reply to me.
Wish you a good luck sir. It was really nice meeting you!!)
I’m kinda thinking if he liked me then y did this happen. Was I not good enough? Guess that might be the reason
Ok so once technology gets involved, things can go haywire quickly. There’s too much room for misunderstandings like what you experienced. Just wait till you’re together in the same place to sort it out..
Hi Traci! How are you? So I have a story to tell.
I went on a cruise and met a lot of nice people, men especially. well I made a friend with a guy, that was on the cruise with his friends because one of them was getting married. Well the cruise was for four days so it went by quickly. The last day I was talking to the guy I made friends with, but at the end it was time for me to go, and while saying bye we were Infront of his guyfriends. One of the guys that I’m talking about was staring at me but with a admiring gaze I can say, he was single, so ofcourse I looked back at him with a smile. Then, came the last day, and we were heading off the cruise because it finished. While standing in line, we were both talking and then exchanged numbers. but get this, we barely even talked on the cruise during those four days, I would mainly be talking to his guy friend but in a cordial way not flirting. Well Thursday I texted him and this is what I got in response and I want to know your opinion. :
So I asked him for lunch on Thursdays.
He said in one text:
Hey lady
🙂
I would of love to but I’m busy at the office all day
100% I’ll be seeing you when you get back
enjoy bring back some culture
Me: I will! I’ll be coming back August 8. How are you ? 🙂
He: I’m good thank god and you?
Sounds great
My bday August and the date of his bday
Me: awesome! We will celebrate ?
I’m good thank you for asking, how are you?
and that’s that. He’s super busy because he has a business.
Hey he’s communicating so that’s good. If you want to quit spinning your wheels just get on the phone.
Hi there! I stumbled upon your post and found it quite informative! Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
I go to church with a young man who I have sort of known for about a year. I’ll put it this way we are both the shy type when it comes to the opposite sex and that much is obvious, so we have never really reached out to each other and officially met… We just know who each other are.
I have not thought twice about this guy because frankly I found him too young and not easy to conversations with.
So what exactly is your question? Sounds like you two aren’t really clicking.
Hi Traci, I dated a guy briefly 18 months ago. He ended things due to not enough spark between us. Seen him at the same parties recently over the past 3 months. That’s the only time I see him. His friend comes over each time to say Hi and he followed. His friend goes off to mingle with the other guests. He stays but stands next to me quietly, smiles a little and blushes. So I start the conversation. We get on well, laughing and chatting. At times he blushes and looks down. After 30 minutes, he suddenly say “lets mingle”. I say “only if you want to”. He says “that’s what we are here for isn’t it” (he was blushing and looking down). I said “ok”. That was the last time I spoke to him. 4 weeks later, I decided to ask him out by text for a drink afterwork. That was 2 weeks ago, he never responded. I’ve text him once a few months ago and he didn’t respond then either. At the last party, he was definitely single. When we previously dated he seemed more confident too. Does his non response mean hes not interested and was just being polite/friendly?
I’m thinking he’s not interested. Keep looking for someone fantastic.