Spot the Signs of Lying:
(Everyone Lies Sometimes)
What would you give to be able to recognize your employee’s (or partner’s) signs of lying? And I’m not talking about a hunch (which comes naturally to most people); I am talking about being 100% sure.
Some people tell lies sometimes, others most of the time, but there isn’t a single person in the world that hasn’t lied at least once in their life. If someone is trying to convince you otherwise, beware.
To prove this concept to you, I’ll give you a simple example:
We might not be feeling very well on a certain day, but when someone asks, “How are things?” we tend to say “everything’s fine.” We know this isn’t true, but we don’t want to bother explaining our mood or condition, so we tell a little white lie.
The thing is – white lies are not that horrible, but certain fraudsters can manipulate you on a higher scale, and create a complete disaster in your company and private life, if you allow them to.
The only thing standing between you and the fraudster is your developed ability to spot the subtle signs of lying.
|You may tell the greatest lies and wear a brilliant disguise, but you can’t escape the eyes of the one who sees right through you. —Tom Robbins, Villa Incognito|
Develop Your Ability to Spot the Signs of Lying
Are you having a difficult time detecting deception? Have you been lied to, too many times in your life?
You are not alone.
The good news is: detecting lies is a talent that can be learned, and even mastered. As a body language expert I teach my clients that the body can’t lie.
This is the reason why lie detector tests are fairly accurate and exactly the reason why there are so many police and FBI agents that use body language in their interrogations.
However, you don’t have to be law enforcement pro to detect lies.
Signs of Lying – How to Recognize the Fib
It is all in the body language if you know where to look. Liars not only have to think about the tale they’re telling but, also, have to attempt to generate the appropriate emotions and body language that goes with it.
And, they do all this while they’re judging how they’re being received . They go into cognitive overload when these things that are usually on autopilot have to be consciously performed.
Body language is what usually goes haywire.
I’d like to share with you a partial list of telltale signs that will help you on your path to finding the truth. It’s important to use these signs only as clues, not taking a single one as a definitive sign of lying.
To spot a liar, you’ll need to look for clusters of signs or hot spots, a tightly grouped series of gestures. When you see three or four during the same sentence, you’ll know someone’s pants are likely on fire.
- Get a Baseline – Before you begin analyzing someone’s body language and accusing them of not telling the truth, make sure you KNOW how they look like when they’re telling the truth. Ask them some simple straightforward questions such as, What is your name, where do you live or what street they grew up on-something they’d have no reason to lie about, and watch closely how they behave when they’re telling the truth.
Remember, liars will point out their honesty. Honest people don’t need to point it out.
- 2. Watch Their Gestures – When we speak the truth gestures flow naturally, and they happen before we speak. Liars usually gesture after they start speaking. This is a very subtle sign that could escape the untrained eye. Working with a body expert can help you master this one.
- Eyes – When you see people cover their faces or eyes or even close their eyes during their story about what happened in a certain situation, it can be because they don’t want to see the truth (and, that truth may be painful.)
- 4. Words – As they speak, the statistics show that liars are more likely to stare at you. A 2015 study conducted by the University of Michigan discovered that liars tend to stare at the person they’re lying to.
The numbers presented were astonishing, and so were the video clips they made: 70% of the people that were lying stare directly at the people they were lying to.
I talk more about body language, my work with the FBI investigators, and their stories in my book: How to Detect Lies, Fraud and Identity Theft: Field Guide.
You can learn more expert opinions on body language and signs of lying here in the TIME Magazine article.
What to do After You Detect the Liar
Once you’re 100% sure you’ve been lied to, you can choose between 3 possible options:
- Let it go – There’s no need to make every lie an issue. Chose your battles wisely, and store your knowledge for a later time. Still it is very beneficial to know who to trust.
- Do something without letting the person know about it – This is especially true for your family matters. If you figure out your spouse doesn’t like chicken with curry, replace it with another dish without letting them know.
- Expose the lie – In order to be successful at exposing the liar you’ll have to do your homework first. Gather all the materials available to support your initial suspicion. Dig throughout the documents looking for clues; most liars don’t bother covering their tracks.
Author’s note: If you have been lied to at the work place, NEVER let it slide. If you stay silent to this kind of behavior, you are only reinforcing it. Also, if people have a history where the lying works, they’re going to continue it because bad behavior gets rewarded.
When you want to practice lie detection and don’t want to stare down your friends or co-workers, watch the evening news, reality TV and talk shows—anywhere people are filmed candidly. You’ll be amazed at what you see when you watch with trained eyes.
If you wish to go in-depth, and truly discover more about the subtle signs of lying contact me. My Fraud Spotting online training may be just what you need. Call to discuss how we can customize a training for your group.
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